Be Gay Do Crime!

logging onto woundblr and seeing all the pain on my gashboard

spike! regouge!

i genuinely don't think there's much, if anything, hotter than someone clearly having a blast doing something they're really good at. doesn't really matter what it is. the combo of competence and joy is absolutely lethal to me

“there’s an ai tool for that” okay ?? there’s probably an ed sheeran song for it too who gives a fuck

God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers and I'm dodging the draft

DW I know that one from heart if you need an explanation

Thanks tumblr user i-suggest-vore. I can always count on you for theological literacy wait is there a different reason you like this story

thinking about my optometrist who was treating my eye infection and said “if it hurts, you can rinse your eye with boiled water. look at me - look at me. i want you to understand that i mean water that has been boiled and has since cooled down. not boiling water. do you understand?” like i’m so grateful for this man ensuring that I wouldn’t destroy my eyes by pouring boiling water in it, because it is an adequate assessment of my intelligence

this is a man who has experienced The Public

i think being able to identify and deconstruct an irrational feeling should make it go away. i literally solved your riddle puzzle master can u let me OUT the damn TORTURE LABYRINTH

So what makes a butcher knife more butch than other knives?

The knife itself isn't necessarily butch. It's named that because it's wielded by a butcher, who is more butch than the other food shop owners

the knife

That's what ancient Greek philosophy is like

yes I DO live under a rock and her name is the Moon and she is always smiling but she teaches me nothing

in my mind palace smoking a mind cigarette to calm down

does anyone have a mind lighter

dry humping in its specificity as a term implies the existence of wet humping

Honestly fuck AI for making me have to go on and on defending the dignity of toil like I’m some kind of protestant

u can just??? kidnap the leader of a country?? just grab em?? can someone take ours?

This is so genius hahaha