words

It's sooo good

The depressed people were far more accurate in estimating how much influence their actions had on the outcome of the game compared to their nondepressed counterparts, who consistently overestimated the effects of their own choices on their chances of winning.

Then I remember this other study (CW animal testing) where they put rats in a bucket of water that they couldn’t get out of, so they’d have to swim. There was a fairly consistent point at which the swimming rat would falter, and stop swimming, fated to drown.

Except that that’s when the researchers would pull the rat out of the bucket, give it a nice rest warmth and a meal.

When those SAME rats who had been rescued before were put in the same situation again, they swam much LONGER than they had before.

Why? The risk was the same either way- drowning. You’d have thought that the fear of drowning would keep them swimming to their maximum length no matter what.

The researchers conclusion was that the rescued rats had something they hadn’t had the first time- they had more hope. A miraculous rescue could come, and that let them swim for longer, just in case.

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

"So we can believe the big ones?"

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

"They're not the same at all!"

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"

MY POINT EXACTLY.”

BUTCH AS IN

Butch as in tough, not angry. Butch as in the kind of strength that learned early how to carry things quietly. The shopping bags. The silence in a room. The weight of being looked at twice.

Butch as in borrowed jacket sleeves rolled up, keys on a carabiner, a pocket that always seems to have what someone else forgot.

Butch as in standing a little wider so someone else can breathe.

I'm lucky: My son is a very easygoing kid. But I remember the first tantrum he threw for me. He was standing by our front door and asked to go outside. So I opened the door and grabbed his shoes. But as soon as he stepped onto the porch, he pointed back into the house.

"Inside," he said.

"Okay," I said. I picked him up and brought him inside.

But as soon as I shut the front door, he pointed outside.

"Outside!" he said.

You know where this is going. We went back and forth, inside and outside, again and again. He got more frustrated. And I got more frustrated. Eventually he wound up straddling the threshold of our house, sobbing. When I tried to comfort him, he screamed at me. "You go wherever you want!" I said. He just got madder. I felt trapped, convinced he’d concocted the whole episode as a pretext to unleash his rage at me. It was ridiculous. I consoled myself with the thought that he was just being a toddler.

But later I kept thinking about him wailing at our front door, one foot inside, one foot outside. His misery wasn't unreasonable, or trivial, or silly. My son was experiencing the agony of wanting two things that were impossible to have at the same time. What a fundamentally human sorrow! My son wasn't being a toddler; he was being a person. Adults may not walk around howling, but that same pain rages within us. In that moment, as a father, I was powerless to solve my son's problem. I told him he could go wherever he wanted, but of course I was wrong. To be where he wanted was impossible.

your reblogging the subway

rat poem again

My parents threw away all of these things (even the vacuum cleaners and the dryer) when they got too dirty to function, because no one even told them THAT they could be cleaned. Cost them thousands of dollars over the years.

All I'm saying is that cleaning is not intuitive, and not knowing how to clean is not a moral failing, but it is something you can learn.

I like this video because it does a great job of introducing the basic foundations of house cleaning (and because he doesn't use bleach, which is a common allergy in addition to being awful to inhale). He also talks a little about how to clean a vacuum. And why you shouldn't put grease from your pots and pans down the sink drain. I also love that he mentions that different houses and different people have different needs and different versions of what clean and cleaning looks like.

This is another video from the same guy about cleaning and depression. This advice, especially at the beginning, can feel really really difficult and oppressive to hear. However, I find that it's generally pretty solid. But I'm autistic and so is he, so that gets a massive Your Mileage May Vary stamp on it.

I have a favorite part of this video. It's from 10:52 to 12:36. I think we could all use to hear that. There's a HEFTY pause after that one. I promise the narration does come back.

This is a pair of videos about how to correctly load and use a dish washer.

The first one is a quick 1 minute 30 second overview on loading. I can't find the exact video I'm looking for, so consider this a substitute for that. If I can find the one I'm looking for, I'll swap it in.

Here's a blog post about scrubbing brushes and how to clean them.

And a video for all cleaning tools, including scrub brushes. This video does use bleach. I'll try to find some alternatives to that.

How to clean a top loader (without the removable agitator thing). This should be done every 1-3 months depending on you unit, or every time you wash really soiled clothes.

How to clean a top loader (with the removable agitator thing). This should be done every month, or every time you wash really soiled clothes.

This video is for pet owners.

These carpet brushes are a LIFE SAVER if you have dogs. This thing allows me to go from vacuuming about 4 square feet before my vacuum is full to vacuuming half the living room (I don't vacuum often enough. You should vacuum weekly, and I just can't.). I have to unclog the vacuum less often. It fluffs up some of the flat spots in the carpet. And I also use the brush to shampoo my rugs in the spring.

A spot cleaner (or a carpet cleaner with a spot cleaner attachment) is another life saver, ESPECIALLY if you can afford to splurge on a heated one. I see them at Goodwill or at yard sales occasionally, and they're worth picking up. The shark one in the video is great too.

It's America's Housekeeping Book (1941). Available for free download on the Internet Archive. (Large PDF file at the link here).

The LISTS y'all. The step by step lists. The emphasis on efficiency and arranging spaces for the least resistance possible. The basic concept of "take a tray or basket into a room when you are tidying up so you can put things that belong elsewhere on it and take them out LATER in ONE GO".

ingredience:

lemons/limes (this needs to make up the bulk of the fruit being used, like at least 80%)

whatever other fruits or fruit scraps you want, plus any herbs/other flavorings you want to try. by fruit scraps I mean things like cherry pits, apple peels, pineapple cores, strawberry ends, things like that.

granulated white sugar, the coarser the better, 50% by weight of total citrus rinds + 100% by weight of any additional fruit. you'll measure this after you prep the fruit.

water as needed

equipment:

a few nonmetallic mixing bowls

a mesh strainer

a chinoise, ricer or some cheesecloth

a kitchen scale

a citrus juicer or reamer (manual or electric)

a potato masher

juice the citrus through a strainer - saving all rinds -  and refrigerate the juice for the time being. dice the rinds and other fruits if any, keeping the rinds separate. make note of weights, and measure your sugar.

 Place sugar in a large nonmetallic bowl. If using non-citrus fruits and/or any other flavorings, mix them in with the sugar and mash with potato masher. add diced citrus rinds, mix thoroughly, and mash again. cover and let stand at room temperature for at least 4 hours. this allows the sugar to draw out flavors that would otherwise get discarded with the rinds, and the rinds' acids should be enough to dissolve the sugar into a syrup.

Afterward, mash one last time, then collect the syrup by pressing the macerated mixture through a strainer/chinoise or ricer, or squeeze it through cheesecloth. if you want, this can be saved as a standalone syrup at this point, for use in cocktails or desserts. if not, slowly pour the reserved juice through the solids to to help get the remaining syrup out, and squeeze/press again. do the same thing one more time with warm water (roughly the same amount of water as juice). discard solids (or try making sangria with them!).

taste the mixture and add more water if necessary. a stronger mix is totally fine if you anticipate serving over ice on a hot day, or adding booze, or if there was a lot of non-sour fruit. keep in mind that it will taste a bit less sweet once it's chilled. pour into a pitcher and refrigerate.

citrus oils will float to the top, so stir/shake before serving. love you. enjoy.

some tried and true flavor combos:

straight lemon or lime, or any combination of the two, is of course an untouchable classic

lemon & strawberries (that's pussy babe!)

lemon & orange with a hint of vanilla (creamsiclemonade...?)

lemon & apples or apple peels with cinnamon/ginger/allspice (for late summer)

some cocktail type combos, booze optional:

lemon or lime & berries with basil + gin

lime & mint + white rum

lime & ginger + dark rum

lime & cucumber + gin

lime & orange (berries optional) + tequila

So this thread has a lot of what my mom and her colleagues have been seeing over the past few years. But as my mom says, the solution here isn’t to keep dumbing everything down and keep destroying standards, if for no other reason, because it doesn’t work. Like this person said, it’s really not about accessibility. These students aren’t unable to do the work, they’re unwilling, and I think it’s due to what I’ve been saying for years: students have a “the customer is always right” mindset and sense of entitlement towards higher education. As someone who actually finished her degrees during the pandemic, I’m sick to death of people acting like all of this is because of trauma. Be so fucking real right now. Every generation goes through hardships. But we’re seeing an entitlement epidemic where students show up, demand college classes be as easy as possible, refuse to do anything remotely challenging, and demand to get good grades despite poor attendance, cheating with AI, and missing deadlines. I do not believe goalposts should be moved and standards should be lowered for people who refuse to even try, because that’s just rewarding bad behavior. When two students showed up to my mom’s office and said they need more time on quizzes because they don’t do the readings, her response wasn’t to give them more time, but “no, you need to do the readings.” I’ve said it a million times but keeping deadlines and actually showing up somewhere when you’re supposed to is one of the cores of functioning as an adult, that’s part of what college is supposed to prepare you for, and students shouldn’t be able to do no work and miss a good chunk of class and receive a good grade—like wtf are we doing here, then, if you don’t have to demonstrate you actually learned anything to get an A? But these students think they’re entitled to an A just by virtue of registering for the course

And again, making the assignments easier doesn’t reduce AI cheating because that’s not why the students are cheating. Contrary to what people on tumblr say, cheating students aren’t poor little meow-meows. They’re cheating because they’re lazy and entitled. I know from experience that this site screams and cries when you say that, because all of the discourse on here revolves around justifying people’s bad behavior and absolving them of any responsibility, but like I said before, students cheat with AI on ungraded drafts in my mom’s classes—drafts intended to be a low-stakes way for students to practice writing. Their AI usage has nothing to do with being fearful of bad grades, but instead a complete and utter unwillingness to do the work assigned to them in a class they signed up for. (I do think universities that encourage AI usage, as bsky OP mentioned, are absolutely a problem here though! Stop lowering standards ffs!)

If social media contributes to this problem, I think it’s because these entitled students have a bunch of enabling rhetoric online reassuring them that their bullshit is okay and they weaponize therapy speak they learned on tiktok to their professors who, god forbid, treat them like adults and try to hold them accountable. And I feel like that’s what’s missing in this thread, like, oh my god, these people are adults. These are not middle schoolers. Adults are responsible for their actions and should face consequences for them. Babying and coddling these adults and acting like it’s completely reasonable for them not to read a book in college is part of why they’re getting away with it! They don’t do the reading? Guess what: they fail. That’s how life works—or it should, as opposed to “oh darn I guess I can’t include any books in the syllabus for my reading/writing class anymore.” Like come on. I know this will set off this anti-intellectual website in particular but no one is a victim because they refuse to read a book! (And no, I’m not talking about people with disabilities who can’t read, so don’t even try.) Like, students refuse to read anything that isn’t tech-based? Then they fucking fail and waste their tuition money. Yes, this addictive tech is a huge problem, but it doesn’t resolve you of all responsibility. Put down the phone and fucking read.

Maybe these adults throwing temper tantrums over basic schoolwork need to face consequences, and maybe these adults are like this because they’re used to a lifetime of teachers bending over backwards to meet their demands after their mommies got on the phone and yelled at the teachers for giving them a bad grade; you don’t know how often my mom comes home from work and says “I can’t believe I’m the first person who ever told these students ‘no.’ Where do these childhoods come from???”

But students are not victims because they refuse to do any assignment that doesn’t personally entertain them, and it’s an incredibly childish mindset. As my mom tells students when they complain a text was boring: “I don’t care. I’m not here to entertain you.” Adult life is full of having to do shit you don’t want to!

And there’s this addition

Which, yes! Again, this is the core of the problem: they don’t care enough to look at assignment instructions. And I don’t think their laziness and apathy should be accommodated

"We thought we could show the world how to live. but we were just running, weren't we? from what's coming... From what's here." —Simplicity