Iron Islander voice: Theon you [19 syllable dolphin noise slur] I see you came back WOKE and GAY and a WOMAN from us leaving you as a child prisoner to the guy with an 8 foot sword that makes you drag it around to executions in front of his screaming faced tree gods as a daily reminder that he can and will kill you (a child) just like he killed the rest of your family (some of which were also children). Did you have fun polishing his sword? I’ll bet. Did you write this letter yourself? Knowing there’s a one person literacy limit? Should we call you Theon the Reader, you reading fuck? And standing here in a jean jacket you bought yourself, may as well be sucking dick at old navy. You know who’s NOT woke or gay or a woman? Your sister Asha. Why can’t you be less gay and woke and a woman, like Asha? I bet she could run a democratic election because you know what isn’t gay Theon? Democracy

Democracy still kinda gay tho

good point we should democratically elect an extremely evil tyrant to subjugate everyone else and balance out how gay having an election was. Like some kind of blasphemous one eyed kinslaying freak. That seems unlikely. Does anyone know where we can find a blasphemous one eyed kinslaying freak? Has anyone in westeros ever had an election decided by a blasphemous one eyed kinslaying freak?

going to work in the morning has a similar vibe to facing a firing squad

does nobody ever think of the front desk. what of our struggles. i have such a headache omg

As much as I’m pro fireworks in July 4th is how much I’m anti fireworks on July 3rd and 5th. You need to wrap it up.

i hate my job

i get so anxious when i ovulate