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$LAYYYTER
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@fivekoboldsinacoat
I actually don't remember if I updated Tumblr or not... but I had to put my cat, Batgirl, to sleep a few weeks ago when she went into sudden kidney failure. (She was 18 years old, so not exactly a surprise.)
(you may remember a version of this post with a paypal link. Removed, because I am absurdly blessed in who I have as friends. <3)
Have a pic of Girlie napping in the sun, on one of her last good days:
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i know gender and sexuality arent exactly the same but “i could survive being with a man” is comphet. “i could survive living as a man” sounds much the same. you’re not meant to live in survival mode. it sounds like you do *need* to transition
That’s… fair
with 2+ years of hindsight (and almost 10 months of HRT), I want to thank this anon, because I think genuinely this played a significant role in helping me to start transitioning.
I've been so much happier since then, and especially since starting HRT. Yeah, there are new struggles and anxieties and problems to adapt to, but I'm also learning how to enjoy life and find myself and love myself, and it's definitely worth it.
Over the past year I've laughed and cried and been able to look at myself in the mirror and selfies and enjoy what I look like. I've felt more comfortable with my body, and worn outfits and accessories that I've been daydreaming about for over a decade. I've felt pretty, which was not something that I thought was possible.
If you're on the fence about transitioning, please know that it's enough to chase joy. If you think you'd be happier, that's enough. You don't have to have known since you were a toddler. You don't have to be so depressed that you can't bear another day as your AGAB. You don't have to "earn" or "deserve" to transition. It's enough to want it.
the dynamic between two people who love a third person so much and come to understand each other because of that is so important to me. you would put them first, and so would i. you understand why we have to save them from themself. i trust you with their life, and so, that means more than if i trusted you with mine. the love doesn't have to be the same, but it's powerful enough that you understand why you're not the only satellite drawn into their orbit.
Everyone is so weird about people who cry easily. Fellas, is it evil and manipulative to *checks notes* have an involuntary stress response?
actually a coworker of mine said something interesting about this. I was saying that I truly can’t help how easily I cry, and I hate when people assume I do it on purpose.
and he paused for a second and then said, “when you’ve been taught from a young age that crying is weak and you should train yourself never to cry for any reason, you assume that everyone else has trained themselves too, so anyone who cries has to be doing it on purpose. it took me a long time to realize that wasn’t true.”
listen we’re never gonna run out of ways the patriarchy hurts all of us.
hey everyone. if you haven't seen it, ansel @transfaguette posted a queued post on his blog, stating that he is likely deceased now after taking his own life. there is a chance he is alive and simply hasn't been able to access his blog, but he stated he was confident in his means, and that his attempt would've been about a week ago. if he is alive, i hope he sees this and knows how much he means to me and many others.
i am deeply saddened by the loss of him to our community. i wish i had been able to know him better personally. i admired him a great deal. i am thankful he was here. i am glad we were both around on this earth for enough time to know each other. he made the world a richer and better place by having been here at all. i can't thank him enough.
suicide is an immensely personal and final choice. he was unhoused, disabled, and without options for a life that felt meaningfully survivable. it was his right to choose to end his life, he expressed this himself. as painful a choice as that choice is, i am glad he felt able to make it with an appreciation for life and a genuine belief in our ability to fight for a world where disabled trans people never have to make this decision out of desperation again. i am glad he went with a sense of peace and love for himself and the world.
His final words on his last post are: "Keep fighting comrades, and never lose your compassion for yourself and others."
if anyone needs it, Trans Lifeline is a suicide support hotline for trans people which will not call 911 on you without consent, and Project LETS has a collection of non-carceral resources. take care of your grief however it needs, take care of yourselves, and each other. he is gone but not forgotten.
its been about a month.
i feel like its important to share some of ansel's posts from April and May, to provide context in his own words:
i'm sharing this because i myself am a disabled trans person. i have family support, but have also dealt with neglect, being blamed for being a "moocher," and struggling to access official resources and do things the "right way." i've feared how little the people in my life seem to understand how precarious everything feels for me being disabled and trans. how easily i could end up homeless and unemployable. every time i saw him posting about this i thought, that could be me.
please think about disabled trans people. please care about us. please fight for us.
happy pride, ansel.
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why do so many recent fantasy books only have a single non-binary person in them. everyone understands the person is non-binary there is no stumbling over pronouns or need to explain—yes, the wizard librarian we’ve all seen them—but there’s only ever One. the author cares enough to acknowledge the existence of people who fall outside of a gender binary but not enough to invest in there being like. a community. wizard gender studies. there’s just grevory the they/them librarian who sprung fully formed and fully non-binary into the magical land of fortinblargh or whatever the fuck
anyway every time i post about ocd people start tagging the post like "wait this isn't normal?" and i always like to remind people that intrusive thoughts are normal. pretty much everyone experiences them. "what if i jumped off this balcony?" "what if i crashed my car right now for no reason?" "what if i yelled a curse word in the middle of this wedding?" everyone thinks these things from time to time. it's disordered thinking when the distress starts becoming intolerable.
"am i normal" is not as helpful question to ask as "are intrusive thoughts causing me frequent distress?" and "would my life be better if i could find a way to feel less distress/learn to tolerate the distress?"
millions and millions of people have ocd. having ocd is normal. you're normal. but what if you could feel better? what if living everyday in your own mind and body could be tolerable? is that something you want? need? these are questions to ask.
i have a personality flaw that always positions me on the side of characters who are hiding everything and refuse to accept help. like do NOT confide in people. confiding in people is the enemy. REAL winners lie and lie and continue lying until they ruin every single thing theyve got going for them & didnt fix a single goddamn thing. keep digging grandpa youre almost there
Look I love unconditional devotion love stories as much as the next person, but there's really something so deliciously raw about conditional devotion.
I have served you and I have loved you for decades, but I will not give up my principles for you. You cut out part of my heart and took it with you down that path that you insist on walking, but you walk it alone. Even when the bleeding, gaping hole you left in my chest kills me, I will not follow you.
me everytime one of my seemingly non-specific homoerotic text posts breaks containment
happy pride to my fellow aromantic allosexuals this year ^-^ you're all awesome! i often feel like a horse when it comes to my own identity... perhaps this will identify with whomever else is out there. have a wonderful pride. get louder about aromanticism or die <3
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yes, India made legal gender change impossible but the doctor down the street who gives me my T shots in a clinic so small that it's just two rooms was excited for me when she said my voice had dropped yes, India made legal gender change impossible but the receptionist who could see that I was a man didn't bat an eyelash when I asked to see the gynecologist and called me sir when he asked how I wanted to pay yes, India made legal gender change impossible but the barber cuts my hair exactly how I want it and never gave me strange looks for being in a men's salon not even back when I didn't pass as one
yes, India made legal gender change impossible but my friends have always gendered me correctly and stick to it even when it confuses other people and my friend's little sibling calls me older brother in Kannada yes, India made legal gender change impossible but my dog learned my new name quicker than the humans and she runs to give me a kiss when she's told to without being confused about who's being referred to
yes, India made legal gender change impossible but I can feel the Adam's apple growing in my throat and my muscles getting stronger, and my smile more real and I'm growing a beard, and I talk more freely
yes, India made legal gender change impossible but I'm here, and I'm alive, and so are you and there are good people, people who care and don't let them make you forget that-- you are not alone.
Sully
Mule, Gelding
15.2hh
Born 2004
characters who dig themselves out of their graves (whether literal or metaphorical) are at the top of the list. nothing beats a character who should have died but didn't and comes back to haunt their own life and the world around them, benevolent or violent it doesn't matter, it's enthralling either way
This is why Pride is not just a party. It's a joyful celebration, but it's also a pointed and colourful two-finger salute to a world that stood back whilst so many of us died. And we'll never go quietly, never again.
One more in the W column for Japan.
Link for extension :3c
I think companies with lots of desk workers should install this by default
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sometimes abuse victims will think they were/are not being abused. sometimes abuse victims will think it's okay they were/are being abused for whatever reason.
sometimes abuse victims will insist to others that they were/are not being abused. sometimes abuse victims will insist to others that it's okay they were/are being abused for whatever reason.
in fact, leading a victim to believe that what is happening is normal and fine and even good or righteous for whatever reason is a common feature of abuse, whether the abuser did it on purpose or not.
if an abuse victim in your life...
questions whether they were abused
goes back and forth about whether they think they were abused
tells you they weren't being abused, and then later says they were
...these can all be very normal parts of living with abuse trauma and don't mean someone is lying or exaggerating about being abused.
^^^ These are all things I struggled with for years! Still sometimes I have days where I think "it wasn't THAT bad" or "I had it coming" or "but they're not bad people"- but it was still abuse! It still happened, and it was still bad, and even if I DID do something annoying or bad to make them WANT to treat me badly back, that doesn't mean it was okay!
It's difficult to accept, but impossible to move on without accepting.
So I do 3D modeling and printing as a hobby, and a few weeks ago I designed wheel guards meant to prevent office chairs from running over cables and clothes... or your pet's tail.
I got the idea from cowcatchers old locomotives used to have.
Anyways, yesterday I uploaded the model to Thingiverse, and just hours after uploading it, the Community Relationship Manager of the whole website left a comment suggesting I enter the model into a competition that's currently being held on the site.
So I did... and now it's in third place not even a day later. First place is $500, but the competition still has a month to go.
Then the Community Manager contacted me again, telling me they want to feature my model in an upcoming design promotion.
Just, what is happening? I mostly made this thing for myself in, like, an hour, and now it's suddenly super popular? This is all a little bit overwhelming 😵💫
Other models I worked on for weeks didn't get nearly as popular. I swear, it's impossible to predict what people will like.
Anyways, if you want to print the wheel guards yourself, you can get the model here or here.
I also made a quiet version you can stick furniture felt pads on.
People love simple, extremely practical things. I hope you win!
