Dear existence

There's always something about cutting my hair .. something liberating , makes me feel that finally I'm alive again , full of life .. I suddenly feel that my heart beats , that everything fell back into place .. the sound of the scissors with every cut , makes me feel that a worry has been erased , traumas all faded , like I'm just a newborn all over again ..

Peace 🌟

Cold .. the coldness of the weather makes me feel empty , lost .. I've never understood why ? But maybe cause emotions are complicated, maybe cause it's not always easy to understand them or cope with them , it's never easy to understand the depth of your feelings and even if u did , you try to escape cause it's way too much to accept the reality , the truth of your feelings .. so you detach , some other times you play dumb , stupid and numb. . Cold .. just like the weather that stirred up those emotions, hoping that the strong wind would erase those emotions, flow them away from your heart, and place other beautiful warm emotions.. my feelings are so strong , intense .. but that's ok cause that what makes me a human, that what makes me alive but I hope one day .. I'll be the safe space of my own self, maybe one day .

Being human, existence .. what's it really? Recently, people haven't felt what being human is with depth and rawness. Bare ..it's been a while since people felt their humanity, with all flaws and stuff , social media , famous influencers showing us how to live and what life looks like even that themselves feel lost , it's all for the fame and the need for being listened to , the attention they crave is making people question their existence? Why are they even alive if they're not that rich or perfect just like those influencers, tiktokers , youtubers etc . . ? But it's never been about those avocados spreaded on some toasts , or those clean girl makeup , neither pilates nor Boba tea .. it's all about the experience .. the deep connection to earth , the source of it all ..