#beinghuman

“Because you know the one thing none of us bothered to think about when we invited a human woman to live with us? Her bloody fucking period!”

Annie tries to cover her snickering with a cough and fails. “Mitchell, she’s lived here going on three months now. Why would that be a problem now if it wasn’t before?”

“Also, you work with plenty of human women at the hospital. It’s never been an issue there, why here?”

I run my hands through my hair to ground myself. “Do I have to spell it out? I wasn’t dating any of the women at work!”

“You weren’t dating any of–?” Annie gasps, “I knew it! I knew it was just a matter of time!” She came racing to where I was, “When, lover boy? Details please.” 

“Honestly, I assumed she already told you,” I deadpanned, momentarily distracted. “Not the point! I wasn’t in close quarters with any of them during it. I could just make up an excuse to go elsewhere in the hospital if needed. I can’t do that with Morrigan. Do you know how much of a cuddler she is? Do you have any idea what would happen if she decided to be a koala bear whilst actively bleeding? I’ll give you a hint, it wouldn’t be good!” 

“How do you know it’s even coming up?”

“You marked yours on the calendar.” They both stare at me. “Don’t you girls like sync up or something?”

Now they both unabashedly laugh at me. “Oh, honey, it usually takes a good while longer than a few months for that, and I’m not even sure if it would do that anymore seeing as I’m dead.” 

“Can someone in this house take my concern that I could accidentally kill my girlfriend in a fit of bloodlust seriously?!”

“Wait,” Annie suddenly sits up straighter, like when she thinks she has a brilliant idea. “Couldn’t this be a good thing for you?”

“A good thi-!”

“Let me finish before you fly off the handle. You crave blood, but don’t want to hurt anyone?” I nod. “But you can’t use the blood bags from the hospital because there isn’t enough life left in it or some shite like that, right?” I nod again, quickly growing tired of the questions. “What better way could there be for you to get blood without hurting anyone?”

“You don’t mean?” George asks as his face turns red. I stare at her in disbelief. 

“I dunno, I’ve heard that some people are into it. Sounded good in my head.”

“Yeah, that would be great. ‘Hey, love. I know we’ve only been going steady a few weeks, but I’ve got a few things I need to tell you. One, I’m a vampire. Two, going along with that, you being on your period is driving me up a wall. May I eat you out so I can feed from you, probably without killing you?’ Sounds like the ravings of a lunatic, Annie!” 

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Morrigan’s Pov

“-in a fit of bloodlust seriously?!” 

So he is a vampire! Poor thing, he’s all worked up over the possibility of hurting me. Maybe I should go ahead and come clean to save him the stress.

“-ravings of a lunatic, Annie!”

Nope, I cannot miss this opportunity to fuck with them. I loudly close the door and make it seem as though I’ve only just walked through. “What shite Twilight ass fanfiction have the three of ya come across?” The looks on their faces alone are worth it. 

“How much did you hear?” Mitchell asks deathly seriously. 

“Just enough to laugh at the fact Edward would never tell anyone anything that blatantly or ask for anything that directly,” I chuckle. They relax instantly. George and Mitchell have another strange conversation with only facial expressions, probably something along the lines of ‘That was too close! Why did you let that happen?!’ if I had to guess.

“Though, if I had to ponder about it, I think I’d have to agree that vampires would probably be more than happy to earn their red wings.” I keep Mitchell in my peripheral vision as I pretend to be lost in thought. His breath hitches and his eyes slightly roll back as his eyelids close. George smacks his shoulder and Mitchell snarls just barely enough to say he did. “I mean, if it would take away the cleanup or shorten the suffering I’d be down to give ‘em out,” I jest and knock my shoulder into Annie’s, watching as Mitchell’s brain short circuits. “Thank god for modern birth control though, right? Never have to deal with another one of those again.” More like thank gods I can use that excuse now. 

George clears his throat. “Well, not to change the subject, but also completely to change the subject, some of the nursing students are having a Friday the Thirteenth/ Halloween party this week. Anyone’s invited I guess as long as they aren't a snitch.”

“Oh! I love All Hallo- I mean, Halloween. That would be so much fun. We could all go, maybe even try to coordinate costumes?”

Mitchell rolls his eyes teasingly. “God, now there’s two of ‘em. It was bad enough with just Annie's party planning.” 

I stick out my tongue, “Spoilsport. It can be fun, you’ll see.” 

“Never said it wouldn't be fun with you, love,” Mitchell says as he kisses me on top of the head. “We can brainstorm costume ideas after George and I get back from work. You and Annie have fun gabbing while we're gone.”

“Sounds good. Be safe, dear.” 

Annie slides over to me with a fresh cup of tea and a cheshire grin. Oh boy.

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“Do ya think I could convince Mitchell to be the Big Bad Wolf if we did the fairytales?” I ask Annie as we brainstorm ideas. 

Annie snickers. “That would be a sight to see.”

“Maybe if I wore a sexy Red Riding Hood costume it could sway him?” 

Annie giggled, covering her mouth with her hand, “I think it will…and maybe make him explode. Good for you.”

“Alright, I'm sold. Nothing too crazy, but hopefully, he'll choke on his tongue.”

“You minx,” she playfully teases. I stick my tongue out at her and grab a cookie from our jar. 

“Maybe I’ll just surprise ‘im with it right before the party. Then he can’t argue too much. I’ll grab the materials on the way home over the week.”

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The plan had been made to meet the boys at the hospital after their shifts the day of the party and head on from there, so Annie and I walked together chatting. I held the bag containing Mitchell’s costume, one of his red flannels and a pair of wolf ears I had made to clip into his hair.  

“I see smoke,” I chuckle as I see the evidence of someone lighting up a cigarette. “I’ll go surprise him.” 

I round the corner with a bit of a skip, pulling my hood up to complete the outfit. I spot Mitchell with his back leaned against the wall, cigarette in hand, but he is not alone. There, leaning far too close for my comfort, is a young lady with dark hair giving him pouty eyes. 

“I heard you’re going to that party tonight. Who’s that cute little ginger?” 

“That’s none of your business. You stay away from her.” 

“Why? So I won’t warn her off? Are you gonna love her and leave her like you did all the others?” 

The woman reached to brush his hair out of his eyes and he catches her wrist. 

“You’re only dooming yourself, Mitchell.” She then stands on tiptoe and kisses him, hard. I turn away, having seen and heard enough. I storm off, glad that neither of them had seen me. I made a beeline back inside and walk over to George. 

“Here’s his stupid costume,” I spit out at George as I shove the bag into his arms before stomping off. “I’ll see ya at the damned  party.”  

Mitchell’s POV

“What the bloody fuck do ya think you’re doing?!” I growl as I throw Lauren off of me. “I will not allow you to ruin my life any more, not after I’ve made it as good as it is now.”