#dear existence

Dear Existence,        You are dark, somewhat painful, but something deep inside of you, their lies something poetic. But you see it is hard to love you when I see that others, your children, no matter how undeserving receive your blessings while more and more my sanity is taken away from me. Like a man succumbed to months of tortuous dark, I scream at nothingness with nothing to listen to my cries of pain. Nothing to hear my terrified screams as I reach for my own slice of the unknown. But you, my boy, you are truly a cold being. Whenever I try, it seems that not only do you take away, but you parade success not mine in front of my face and jealousy creeps inside of my heart. I sometimes feel as though I hide behind my faith, like I hold on to God as though he were a safety blanket, like I'm undeserving. But then I look at these words and suddenly you don't seem so dark anymore. With every word penned I am closer to God, soaring on the orange warmth inside of the clouds, the pristine ocean blue of the sky, and I stare out in the world, the darkness you shed not affecting me anymore. I can smile at the obstacles you present to me. In fact, I can even appreciate what you throw at me. Thank you for making it harder, because you made me so much stronger.                      Much Appreciated,                     Bad Azz