Dear Dazai

Rethink - I want to do things differently for a while. So that's what I'm planning on doing.

Dear Dazai,

So my grand plans of writing more regularly fell into one ginormous heap. Literally.Or figuratively. Your choice.

I honesty sat down to write something several times, but I wasn’t able to think of anything to say. I was simply staring at a blank screen and words were annoyingly absent. I’ve almost given up once today because I deleted everything and then almost couldn’t retrieve it.

T…

Appearances - It's a thing. You know the drill by now.

Dear Dazai,

There’s an old story about a man in London, some centuries ago, Terribly sad he goes to the doctor to see what can be done and the doctor suggests going to see the famous clown in town to cheer himself up.

I’m sure most people would have heard this story at some point. Enough to know that the punchline is that the man who brings joy to so many others is actually desperately sad in and…

Blisters - I have this weird thing when I get particularly anxious that I get blisters on my palms.

Dear Dazai,

I’ve got blisters on my palm again.

I haven’t had them for a while. In fact, I can’t honestly remember the last time I had them. I used to worry that they were a symptom of something terrible that might be wrong with me, but the truth is they’re one of those weird idiosyncrasies of my anxiety.

When I’m anxious, I get blisters on my palms.

Tiny ones, ones that most people would never…

Frustration - I had a whole other post written and I stupidly deleted it. So this is what I ended writing instead.

Dear Dazai,

I just deleted the blog post I had written by accident and I’m really angry at myself, because now that I’ve already written it once, I’m not sure I need to write it again, and now I’m wondering exactly what it is I’m going to write.

There feels like there’s a bit too much to say at the moment. That there’s a few too many thoughts in my head and I’m not sure now which one to focus on.…

Dear Dazai,

I’m not dead. Which is probably quite surprising given the amount of time I took away from doing this with no notice whatsoever. I’d make excuses about being busy and things to do, people to see and obligations to live up to, but honestly, I needed it.

Even though I find this whole process quite cathartic, in that it helps me deal with some things that I’m finding troubling at…

Dear Dazai,

Sometimes there’s a moment in our lives where we’re obliged to do things we wish we weren’t. Being the selfish creatures that we are, we often forget that the world is not egocentric. That our experiences are not the only ones that we need to keep in mind.

With the holidays fast approaching, we have these moments, where no matter how anxious we are, or how limited our supply…

Dear Dazai,

There’s a saying floating around the internet that suggests that it would be a magical thing to have the confidence of a middle-aged white guy who’s spectacularly average. I’d venture one step further to say I feel like I’d get a lot more done if I was as confident as a white man. I’d certainly feel a lot more assured in myself than I currently do.

Now, before anybody says it,

Dear Dazai,

I’ve been debating exactly what I wanted to write about today, there’s been a few major thoughts I’ve had in my head that I felt would be something that I could spend some serious words on, but I’ve decided. I want to talk about media, and about how we often grow out of it.

Or don’t.

See, there’s still this fairly substantial bias in modern society regarding media and what…

Dear Dazai,

It’s been a good weekend.

I broke down in tears at one point (totally my fault, broke a lovely tea cup that I’d only been gifted the day before), but it was still good. Much better than I hoped it could have been given my mood in the week leading up to it.

It wasn’t good.

Even though for the most part, I feel good at the moment. Really good. I’m not worn out all the…

Dear Dazai,

This is later than it should be because I honestly lost track of time. Worse, I lost track of time doing something particularly mundane…cleaning my kitchen. It needed it. Desperately.

It was at the stage, where as someone who usually finds some comfort in cooking, the mere sight of my very untidy kitchen, meant that I made do with the bare minimum. For the past couple of…

Dear Dazai,

It’s been a while and I’m writing on a Wednesday, something that I don’t often do. Honestly, I should have written sooner than this but I’ve been having a case of hesitation about it. The first time in a long time, I’ve been hesitant about adding something to this forum. 

It’s come at a bit of surprise to me to be honest. Surprise that at this point I’m not prepared to well,…

In Praise of Heroes

I’m taking a break from my regular letters to write something that’s lingered on my mind this week.

Heroes.

Specifically female heroes.

This has been of particular consideration to me since She-Ra was rebooted this week. To say that I’ve been excited about this release would be an understatement.

I’ve basically been bouncing since I heard it.

Then squeeing when I heard that Noelle…

Knowledge - in which I rant about things and then end up at a better place.

Dear Dazai,

I have a lot of flaws, I’ll admit it. One that often comes to the fore is me hating being told what I think or feel. Especially by people who are important in my life.

Part of my issue with this is that I place a lot of importance in people paying attention to things about me. I’m not going to care how flashy a gift is if it’s something I would simply never want and the person never…

Presents - I got some lovely things this week and I wanted to let everyone know how much that meant to me.

Dear Dazai,

It’s been a day of presents today. Actually this week has for the most part been giving in a positive way. I received some good news regarding some work I’d done a while back, which is always excellent to hear and today I got a present from Amelia. It’s a little early (it’s for my birthday but we’re not quite there yet).

Amelia’s present made me tear up in the best possible way. The…

Absence - I'm making excuses, and talking a lot about anime.

Dear Dazai,

It’s been more than a week and I’ve fallen behind keeping up with this. I could make lots of excuses about how busy I’ve been, there’s the new business, the general looking for work, other writing and it seems at though I’m having a bit of a renaissance when it comes to the media in my life.

It’s been a while since I’ve really clicked with something, apart from Brooklyn Nine Nine,…

Uninspired - I don't have anything to say so I use many words to say exactly that.

Dear Dazai,

I haven’t written anywhere near the amount I would usually like to in a week. Too focused on new endeavours and worrying some old worries. Now, as I sit here trying my best to think of something worthwhile to write, I cannot conjure the right thoughts.

It doesn’t help that generally although I’m happy to be open and honest about my own feelings, I don’t want to speak for others. Not…

Uninspired - I don't have anything to say so I use many words to say exactly that.

Dear Dazai,

I haven’t written anywhere near the amount I would usually like to in a week. Too focused on new endeavours and worrying some old worries. Now, as I sit here trying my best to think of something worthwhile to write, I cannot conjure the right thoughts.

It doesn’t help that generally although I’m happy to be open and honest about my own feelings, I don’t want to speak for others. Not…