#time away

Apologies for the absence I took an abrupt social media hiatus as I ventured into the Sierra Nevada Mountains with family on vacation. Cell service was spotty and honestly it was nice to just unplug from social media all together for a bit.

I’m back for a few days before I head into the woods of the Canada and US border. More wilderness and adventure calls and I must go haha! It’ll likely get quiet here again as I continue to enjoy some time off the grid.

I received many concerned messages like yours after I stopped posting for about 5 months. I was quite touched by the well meaning words my followers posted. I appreciated the many kind and thoughtful messages.

Yes, I am fine. Thank you for asking. It feels like I have been on vacation, from Tumblr at least, but my life off grid has been anything but. I feel almost embarrassed to say that I have nothing particularly exciting to report about my absence from Tumblr.

You are are in corporate finance and so I imagine you understand very well when I say how demanding and punishing life on the corporate treadmill can be. I work excruciatingly long hours. And even more just travelling by plane from this capital to that capital until becomes a blur. Checking in and out of hotels that no matter how luxurious start to look the same.

On top of which I got a further promotion and my reward is even longer hours and more stress. The stress is not from the graft of hard work, which is what I enjoy. Rather it’s dealing with egos around the table and biting my nails in frustration at the venality and stupidity of so-called smart and successful people. When I say smart, I mean the highly educated or credentialised.

While high achievement education is great, it tends to limit many people’s view on who should be seen as successful in society and an over-reliance on credentials as a proxy for wisdom.

This rings true at the other end too, where freshest faces off the university conveyor belt just seem so mentally fragile. I am shocked at just how lacking they are in self awareness and devoid of critical thinking. It’s when they start to spout woke nonsense then all my suspicions makes sense. These types never last long and will get spat out in no time at all. No great loss.

The general environs of corporate office culture is empty and soul-draining and full of soulless, power-hungry sociopaths who have shirked their humanity for financial gain and satiate a power lust. It is also occupied by poor unfortunate souls, they are otherwise good people who are unwitting victims of a well-fabricated cultural lie. So why do it? Because I’m unfortunate soul who is also a power hungry sociopath who has shirked her humanity for financial gain and a lust for power. Just kidding. I love the work but hate the hours.

But in my career thus far I’ve mastered speaking in frameworks and talking in lists of three. I’m used to getting emails and calls at all times during the week - firefighting or cleaning up someone else’s mess. I’ve got used to waking up before the sun on most days. I’ve become adept at answering any questions that can catch me off guard. I can successfully bullshit my way through any business topic and appear knowledgeable about things I didn’t know existed. On the plus side, I have more hotel and airline points than I know what to do with.

But most of all, I really appreciate the weekends and the time I can be at home or spend with friends and family. So the past few months off-grid from Tumblr I’ve been quite busy.

I have been travelling since my last post of group trek of hiking and mountaineering in Greece with friends (who were all in the military with me). I spent the summer with my partner travelling to Morocco (rally driving and camel riding in the desert!), and Bali (surf, swim, and s....damn, there I go making lists in threes again as per my work habit ) as well as cycling and hiking and swimming around Monaco, where he lives.

I have been doing mundane things like renovating my Parisian apartment after buying the next door apartment and now trying to make one big apartment, so I can throw proper parties and also host family and friends who want to visit me in Paris. I’ve been doing most of the electrical wiring and other things that need hammering or fixing myself but when I hit a problem I call in the cavalry with some help from others.

I’ve also been perfecting my Chinese language because I was losing it. Before the Covid lockdown I was going to China and Hong Kong often but I haven’t been since then. I can’t rely on what I learned as a child growing up in Shanghai and Hong Kong and so I sought out a native Chinese Mandarin language tutor online to push me and brush up on my language - Chinese is one of those languages that you can lose very quickly if you don’t keep it up, say unlike the European Romance languages which are very easy to retain.

I’ve also had the good fortune to travel and see a lot of opera these past months. Including a trip to the Beyreuth Festival (a controversial new take on Wagner’s Ring des Nibelungen) and also Glyndebourne - which is a family pilgrimage of sorts and the best chance I can see my parents and other older family clan members. I’ve missed out on so much of family events and occasions because of the Covid lockdowns that I’m trying to make up for it (as indeed many are of course).

This also doesn’t include the number of weddings of friends I had to dutifully and happily attended. All good fun.

A lot of my time has increasingly been escaping Paris and heading down to the vineyard. I just love being in the outdoors and in nature.

I haven’t quite gone full Cincinnatus - the famed Roman general and patrician who just gave up his rank and power in the Republic and went back to farming his land - but I have spent more time on my French vineyard. I say my vineyard I really mean the vineyard I co-own with my cousins who along with their French wives actually make the wine and manage the vineyard all year around. I just drop by to muck in with whatever needs to be done on the vineyard. At the end of a hard day’s labour of sweat and toil, there’s nothing better than carousing under a starry night sky with a glass of wine in one hand and a cigar in another and singing local folk songs or telling borderline dirty jokes with earthy French locals.

Currently we are in the middle of the grape harvest - or la vendange - on the vineyard. Needless to say it’s all hands on deck. The pivotal moment of the entire year’s efforts have led up to is finally here. The blood, sweat, and toil of patiently farming the land will finally pay off - or so one hopes. In the days and weeks leading up to harvest, I would sometimes go along with my two talented wine-making cousins when they made daily vineyard visits to sample the grapes, check Brix (a measurement of sugar), and gauge overall grape balance between the sugars, acidity, and tannins. At this time, the weather also plays a critical role in determining when to pick. Heat waves or potential rain showers can cause the vineyard crew to move up or postpone picking. It’s been a steep learning curve but all the muscles aches and pains as well as the callused hands and blistered fingers have been worth it. There’s nothing like rolling up your sleeves and mucking around in dirt and earth.

Anyway, back to Paris and back to work (sigh).

Onwards and upwards. Glad to be back again.

Hello my friends! I hope you’re all well and enjoying the beginning of summer 💚

so this is sumn i’ve been prolonging for quite a long time — i’ve been hoping it would go away, i would shake away this feeling, but sadly it’s reached a point where i can’t ignore it any longer.

i’ve decided to take an indefinite hiatus.