Random Hippie🌿

Waking up on Monday you feel the sadness

Mornings a blur, not a lot is new, only one thing to look forward to, that thing being you.

I hope that he looks at me, any of one the three.

I walk past his door, his locker, his table.

I walk past him back into reality. Nothing to see now, just me in my own head. No need to think about where I’m walking, I do it every day. Nothing new going on around me, if it is it’s in my brain.

If I want some entertainment I must make it myself

For everything around me comes off the shelf.

Every body else's life seems so fulfilled, I'm so depressed, gonna take these Fucking pills

You seen so comfortable in ya own skin,

I don't understand how to be as ok with my self as you are, I look in the mirror n get sick. I'm full of shit, I ain't seen a happy world or momma i feel safe with, no momma to hold me tight and wipe my tears, just a women who liked to be a shag head, and lay in bed, drink her problems away till her problems became all that was on her head. She took it out on me, making me really see that she wasn't no mother to me.

The words she spoke held no truth, the praise she gave herself was falsely given. Instead of putting herself on a pastel for ridding the world of my evil, she should have begged God for some forgiveness for the way she betrayed her motherly duties. She overlooked the facts and followed her rotted, diamond mind into a rabbit hole with a rotted, diamond world. One where if, instead of slaying the dragon, she befriended and listened to it, she would be crowned queen.

So when she found herself there, it was too late, she couldn't help her self, the plastic shines brighter than gold. So she listened and followed, she did as it said,

"destroy the evil, break it's will, be the winner, kill kill kill."

That's how i got these scares, that's how I lost my mom. This is why i can't sleep right, this is were it went wrong.

I lost myself, for the words she spoke held no truth yet they played back in my mental through all my youth.

We both lived to tell the story in two very different ways, no matter how she spun it, the judge went my way.

Living we are, yet dead to each other, losing my mother wasn't a bother.

Cut the people out of your life who try to cut you, because being a mother I'm sure, doesn't include trying to murder your child in front of the other young. What's it say about you if yo momma wants you dead, what's it say about you if ya momma tries to kill you in yo bed.