bloodwrittcn·:
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He could feel his throat tighten just by the sight of her. He’d promised to do right by her to Lorenzo, to do better than just visit occasionally. After all she’d been the one to not only bear him a son but be so beautiful when he, most of the time, wasn’t at all right and just. “Thank you, your assistance isn’t needed,” the count turned around slightly to face the servant who quickly left the room. “No chaperone today, but I promise to behave.” in fact, Cesare kept his distance, for now, at least. He’d hoped to speak with her in private, however, their surroundings made it almost impossible for him to not be paranoid and expect the worst. The French certainly had their ways of filtering out information, even about a woman who had absolutely no interest in meddling with them anymore.
The count sat down in front of Caterina, bent forward and softly reached out towards her. “Moment of grandeur,” he replied with a sarcastic tone to his voice. Unless Caterina, Cesare wasn’t interested in keeping quiet - had he just challenged the prince himself to make right by his beloved. “Don’t worry, my love. I’ve challenged the beast head-on. Don’t–” he added, “don’t scold me for doing what needs to be done,” Cesare grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles. Chaste, nothing that might alarm a chaperone - hopfully, possibly. Clearing his throat the count looked up towards his beloved and smirked. “Relax. I’ve not come to force you into a position you’re not ready for. I see how you’re thriving. My company would only damage everything. While I’m a good match I do see myself being far too rugged and domineering to even be worthy of you. But,” he tried to find the right words, “I shall use my strength to work towards our common goal, if you let me, my lady. Nothing would make me happier than to call you mine.”
a rueful smile was brought to caterina’s face at the dismissal of the page, brown hues rolling slightly as she spoke her next words in quiet jest, “all the world over knows we share a child. what, do they think giulio was brought in through my window in milan by a stork?” it was nonsense, of course, but their transgressions and beholdence to the pope necessitated at least the image of sanctity, thus a chaperone was usually not far.
my love. the words twisted in her mouth, bringing the taste of bile to the back of her throat. who was she to resist the advances of cesare, a match that would’ve delighted her as a girl? why did every cell in her body push him away, even while the world pushed them closer and closer together? it was the thought of marriage that had ruined him, taken him from a comforting dalliance to someone she was forced to have occupy serious thoughts of her future. it was a sinful thing, to reject something she knew could make her happy, but for all her considerable courage the thought of entering the foreboding institution of marriage again scared her beyond belief.
“you— you’ve what?’ she asked, snapping out of her quiet reverie to probe him for answers, brow knotting together in worry of what her hot-headed lover may have done. “please tell me you’ve not done anything rash mi signorie.” allowing his lips to brush her knuckles, caterina’s fingers tightened around his hand, holding him for just a moment longer before letting go like she’d been shocked by the electric sparks that sometimes danced between them. “your company damages nothing.” she said, posture relaxing a bit as she heard his words, her softer, more empathetic side wishing she had an explanation for him. “do not take me for a fool, for I know what duty binds us. but it is by no fault of your own that we aren’t already wed.” she paused, heartbeat picking up as she attempted to wrangle words from her nervous tongue. loss had marked caterina, leaving her heart a hopeless squire, content to watch others ride off into war as she’d resigned herself to a life of a spinster, but then filled it back up with the love of another— the medici bank. “I suppose I do not feel worthy of a great love anymore.” she mused quietly, to herself, only realizing she’d said it aloud when cesare reacted.

















