hang on i need to review my entire post history from all time and make sure i haven't said anything embarrassing

awful news guys

@ every parent in the world: yes your kid is special because every child is special but they are not specialer than every other child so please be normal about them

Some parents have done what I can only describe as fandomize their child where they’ve taken the child and altered it in their mind to make a cooler version that fits their specific interests, and now sometimes I have to remind them of the canon material.

For those of you who don’t know, I’m a youth theater director and teacher. Every audition season is a personal ordeal.

e me a mail

make the attachment a pic of a snail

i melted some cheese on rice for dinner this evening and while eating it i started thinking "this is like macaroni and cheese but with rice instead of macaroni". a minute later i said "rice and cheese" out loud to myself. a few seconds after that i heard a deep, ethereal sigh that sounded like it came from a twelve thousand foot woman studying me in my apartment from up above, as if i were some manner of lab rat in a doll house that just disappointed her. i am sorry really big science lady in space

tonight i'm having a shot glass of chicken stock and several almonds

my childhood being vintage makes me want to stress vomit and die of lead poisoning

but op that's why you ate the tums