Maniac

I want you guys to know that not even when I'm home alone I feel as safe as I felt when I was surrounded by you.

Being at a concert and seeing them live after 7 long years wasn't the only reason that I was crying that day. I felt at home, safe, understood, less an alien...

You were all so nice, helping me with my lightstick, guiding me through the city and concert hall, helping me whipe my tears when I finally saw them.

Like if it wasn't for STAY I wouldn't have been able to find my way through the subway and to the concert or correctly put the batteries of the lightstick or get the banner for the fan project.

I mean you were all so nice that I came back home with 6 photocards (some officials), 2 straykids inspired brazalet, a lot of pictures of the kids and 2 keychains.

And right now that I'm in a bad place, I can't help but remember that no matter how bad I think I am, none of you did care. You treated me better than most of the people in my life and didn't even know me.

No matter how unlovable and bad I feel about my body, you didn't care. You didn't call me names or mocked me.

At that moment, I only felt love and safety to the point that I would go to other stays and start a conversation, no social anxiety.

So maybe if you all treated me like life-long friend, maybe I'm not so bad and unlovable, maybe it is more of me than the body I hate.

Maybe there is someone other than the members who understands my struggles. I even saw stays with safety pin necklaces and other symbols.

I love you all. You're the siblings I never had, you're all worth of love and perfect just the way you're.