An Odd Bitch

…which means it’s time for an annual reminder not to kidnap baby birds. Fact: most species of birds have almost no sense of smell. Someone probably told you that if you touch a baby bird, the mother will smell you on it and reject her baby. THAT IS NOT THE CASE. If you’ve found a baby bird and you touched it, all is not lost, you can still return it to mom and dad!

Pictured: a young Mourning Dove, after being rescued from the tender mercies of my dog, circa spring 2005. It’s a fledgling! Note how it has most of its feathers, but still looks a bit awkward and scruffy, and, being unable to properly fly, can be caught by an elderly husky or a child. 

Help, I found a baby bird on the ground, what do I do???

Hatchlings/Nestlings: IF it is naked or covered in fluffy down and/or pinfeathers and cannot flutter successfully, it’s a hatchling or nestling, and has fallen from its nest prematurely. Look for the nest- if you find it and can reach it, return baby and then leave and let the parents return. If you can’t find the nest, or if you find it in pieces on the ground, use a small box/yogurt container lined with dried grass and attach as close as possible to where you found the bird or where you think the nest was. If it’s cold, warm it in your hands for a few minutes before putting it back. RETURN BABY!!!! 

Fledglings: If you spot a young bird covered with feathers (may have a few patches of fluff) on the ground, it’s a fledgling (bird tween) who is currently working on flying 101 homework, which is normal and fine. Hanging out on the ground is part of the learning to fly process! If it looks like it’s in immediate danger (i.e. of being run over, stepped on, or eaten by a cat or dog), the best thing you can do for it is to gently scoop it up and place it in the low branches of a nearby tree or shrub, and then LEAVE. The parents are likely nearby watching, and will return once the coast is clear. If it flutter-hops away from you and you can’t catch it, then don’t worry! It just successfully avoided a predator (you), and therefore can probably continue to do so. LEAVE BABY ALONE!!!

DO NOT: Try to feed it, bring it into your house or car, or take it to your local domestic animal vet or shelter. 

BUT THEN IN THEIR MISREPRESENTATION POLICY THEY SAY YOU CAN'T COLLECT MONEY TO A BANK ACCOUNT THAT'S NOT IN YOUR BUSINESS OR LEGAL NAME. BUT MY LEGAL NAME INCLUDES DICK, WHICH YOU CONSIDER OFFENSIVE.