Leave This Blue Neighborhood

It is going to happen this year. You know what I mean. God’s will. Naturally of course. No need to come knocking on my door. I’m chilling at home and I’ll be chilling at home when it happens. Before I go running out into the streets that is. Shaking the mailman’s hand. Kissing nurses and shit. All of a sudden there’s a drumline and a mariachi band and breakdancers and fuckin… David Guetta is DJing on a rooftop if David Guetta is still alive. Maybe we’ll even get to watch it live on TV. The first flicker that something is really wrong. Slowing it down and rewinding it after like when Lisa broke Ralph’s heart. The realization in his eyes. The first single moment of self awareness in 80 years. Like a flailing panicked deer you’ve crashed your car into on the side of a snowy mountain pass. The eyes fluttering back and forth. Surely this can’t have been it. Perhaps a brief bargaining with God. God saying he’s going to pass on the deal. I do not agree with your terms sir. It’s gonna be like the Will Smith Summertime video out there. Everywhere. We’re all going to get fired from our jobs for posting. 100% unemployment. One good day.

it starts as it ends, with a garden ... and two supernatural beings sharing a moment together

They could have created the universe without other angels and demons. Without heaven or hell

For fucks sake, they didn't even have to make an excuse of idk, making themselves vampires or something

They just could have made themselves immortal. With God-like powers, but without taking responsibility. Or actually doing God's work. The humans would still have their free will. The ineffable husbands would still be ineffable husbands and not just married Michael Sheen and David Tennant

- what was the point of introducing Jesus?

- what was the point of all the build up to a final showdown of heaven and hell versus humanity?

- what was the point of the apocalypse when just stealing and burning the book of life could have ended everything?

- what was the point of creating a godless universe after everyone who lived in the god's universe had already been obliterated?

- what was the point of Aziraphale and Crowley dying for the creation of a new universe? They still ended up with their entire universe and everyone and everything they ever knew being erased from existence.

- what was the point of Michael just tearing pages from the book and nothing being done to stop them?

- what was the point of putting the line about Metatron tweaking the book and fiddling with reality if there was to be no payoff from that hint?

- what was the point of Jesus learning to find the lady? He still ended up erased from existence

GOOD OMENS