CythereePhoenix

So, as you guys know. I live with a poly but am not part of it. Yada yada that is old news now.

Little bit of info on me. I never, ever, celebrated my birthday before. Just. Never. My birthday wasn't anything special or any special treatment. It was just a day that I was a year older and that was it. Back to schedule.

So. A while, like a while a while, ago. It was D's birthday and while it wasn't the first time I experienced how other people celebrate birthdays, which I will admit I thought the poly were the odd ones out, it was the first time for H to ask me when me brithday was.

I had looked at him confused as he just waited for an answer. I asked him why he wanted to know and he had just, looked at me wiht a tilted head and motioned around us like that explained anything.

Anyway I told them when it was and H looked so shocked and guilty. It took me a while to realise that my birthday was the month before and H apologised for not having done anything for me.

Now I was even more confused but I quickly reassured him that it was fine. They didn't know and I reassured him it is just another day in the year and not a big deal. That it didn't matter. H had nodded but still looked uphappy.

Foolishly, I had believed that was the end of it.

Not the next week but a bit later D actually came up to me with a frown. Asking me when my birthday was. After I told him he frowned more and asked me why I didn't tell them.

I told him the same as I told H. Birthdays just aren't that big of a deal. I never celebrated them growing up and it was never treated as a special day.

D hadn't looked content but had nodded after that. Still he did write down the date on the calender.

Which meant I had a similar conversation with both K and C with the same conclusion. Yes my birthday was a month ago. No I wasn't disappointed that you didn't do anything for me. And no i don't celebrate it myself either and never did in my yought.

I thought they had dropped it.

Imagine! My surprise! When I woke up! A week or two ago. Only to have them excitely tell me they have a small fun day planned for my birthday! (small note. It didn't happen on my birthday, mostly because it was in the middle of the week and I had school and they know me well enough to know I would not have entertained this ridiculousness if it had interferred with school) but it was the weekend so I figured it was fine. They seemed really excited about it. So guess we will celebrate I finished another round around the sun, which I did nothing to accomplish.

Anyway. It was nice. I still felt awkward about them singing a few birthday songs to me but the cake H made looked amazing and the breakfast was with pancakes and I love those.

And it was nice! It was amazing! I had a good time and was almost thinking. Maybe these birthdays aren't that bad. I dunno.

Then K asked me if I wanted to do this outing with him and C. I said sure and the three of us got into C's car. We drove for a while and ended up by this petstore. Not unusual. K loves to stop at these to pet cats.

Turns out it was this large fish store and we were looking at some of the small buildings and stuff and talking about what looked nice and how to decorate stuff.

That was! When I discovered! The meaning of this trip!

Because a sales person came up to us and asked if we were the people he had an appointment with. To which C said yes and shook hands with the guy as they spoke about having spoken on the phone.

We walked over to this tank filled with these fish. Very pretty and nice looking and the man said these were the betta fish they had in and asked C what sort of tank they had set up. C spoke with him about the specifics as I leaned closer to K and asked him if they were getting a fish.

K had grinned and said "Actually. You are getting a fish!"

I had looked at him confused and he just grinned as he said it would be nice to have more decoration in my room, which I admit is spares, and that the light of the water would work well against my night terrors because it gives off light and I mentioned I liked fish and I had wondered if I wanted a pet.

I was still in shock as he grinned and said it was my birthday present. And no matter what I said that it wasn't needed he would not listen!

At this point C was done talking to the man and he redirected the guy's attention to me! I spoke a bit with him and he mentioned which were my options. I glanced at my friends and reminded them that I did not have a tank. Much less one set up to have the right conditions for the fish!

C proudly shared that I did have a tank. That it was the thing that D asked to stash in my room for a bit.

In my defence!! It happens a bunch to all of us! If D's room gets too full he will ask to stash something for a bit as he cleans and organises his room again. I just! didn't check what was under the sheet because it was rude!

So I could pick out a fish...

I had a yellow betta fish now. Her name is Mango.

But yeah. I am sitting on my room, two weeks later. Staring at my fish tank with my fish in it. Which I just finished feeding and I am just watching the little creature swim around and...

What does it mean when your roommates gift you a fish?

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Art?

Mm, depends what I'm drawing. I've noticed that the majority of my Procreate timelapses end at around an hour, but the time can vary depending on how complex the drawing is.

I've gotten a lot faster over the years! What used to take me MULTIPLE HOURS now only takes me around one or two.

Animation?

Ouuuu, a while.

Those small little "stealing sans" animations I made didn't take SUPER long because they're simple—only 3 frames for the actual running portion. Those are intentionally made quickly!

I do have other animations, but uh. I don't usually finish them. Oops.

So... it takes a long time. And a lot of motivation. :P

Fanfics?

I... don't know! I scribble bits and pieces down in my notes app, then stitch it all together later. I write when I'm inspired. I could write 2,000 words in one sitting, then write 4 sentences the next.

I think I have over 25 half-finished WIPS in my notes app rn... 🫢

My motivation is veryyyy... inconsistent.

Depending on how long it is, fanfiction can take people literal years to complete.

Some can write a new chapter every week (HOW??) and some people update every few months! And sometimes, people will even take year-long breaks before coming back. All are valid ways! It just depends on what works for you.

I can assure you, there's no need to rush—rushing and forcing yourself to write can kill motivation! In my experience, anyway.

Everyone works at a different speed; don't compare yourself to others too hard. Be kind to yourself, and go at your own pace!!

It's better to actually enjoy what you're doing, rather than striving for "being the fastest" or "being the best."

And also! Pleeeeease don't listen to any time-pressures people might try to put on you.

Remember, (most) fanfiction is FREE. People get to read your works FOR FREE. Therefore, nobody, and I mean NOBODY is allowed to place any amount of pressure on you.

Don't forget to take care of yourself! <33