Clown Cart

Tim, subtly eyeing Bruces banana chip snack: Bruce, can you sign some of these documents for WE ? kinda important.

Bruce, places the snack down and grabs the documents: sure

Tim, grabbing the snack and running out of Bruces office: yoink Bruce: :O ?

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league meeting

Cass and Damian taking turns to see which one can take a mid patrol power boost snack from bruces belt without notice.

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Jason, walking up to Bruce: hey

Bruce, eating a sandwich in the kitchen: hi

Jason, takes the sandwich outta Bruces hadn: thats mine

Bruce: oh

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Bruce snacking at the batcomputer

dick and steph walking out the locker room

Dick: hey Bru-

Bruce, startled, shoving food in his moth: huh? yeah what is it?

Steph: what was that?

Bruce, coughing, struggling to swallow the food: what was what?

Dick: what did you eat? and why did you eat it all the moment we walked in?

Steph: eyah shy did you do that?

Tim: dick taught me how to distinguish between most drugs, blame him

Dick: ummmm blame Oliver , i saw him bragging about his methods being the fastest one day and the rest was history

Jason and Tim: huh 🤔

Dick: although, Alfred once told me that B also did that but stopped after a while, not efficient enough or something.

Jason: for the record, youre all stupid and i hope no one else in this absolutely cursed family tastes drugs to determine what they are

Steph,painting Jasons nails (lost a bet): i saw him on the cave couch when i was down there, that what about an hour ago so idk if hes still there.

Dick: yeah but i was just down there and Bruce was napping there.

Jason: where else would he be? have you tried calling his phone?

Dick: he never answers his phone, he has some freaky mind powers for knowing when something is an actual emergency .

they sit in silence for a minute

Cass: wait you said Bruce was napping on the couch? didnt he just get off patrol with a heavy concussion?

more silence

Steph realsing: OMG

Jason,also realising : rip Timmy, concussed 210 pound Bruce decides when the hug ends

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in the cave on the cave couch.

Alfred: you alirght in there master Tim?

Jason: yeah that sounds about right

Dick: i dont want my hands to get greasy and shit

Damian: is this why you get your own bowl? because you slobber all over the popcorn?

now everyones panicking, throwing speculations and theroies on why this young CEO is covered in scars -maybe a illegal fight club / or shady friendships - but that all egts quickly debunked when gotham citizens are like "oh i have a scar like that on my arm, i got it during a scarecrow attack" and another is like " OHHHH Tim was the wayne at the bank i work at that got shot up last month"

Bruce: Clark called me earlier today , Tim , can you tell me why he told me to talk to you because something you said made him sad and now hes sulking ONTOP of the daily planet..?

room goes silent, everyone is very obviously trying not to look like theyre listening in for drama

Dick: i just walked past B and he said 'April fools' to me, smiled and then left, what did he do? do i have something on my face? am i missing something?

Jason: he texted me april fools and a ' :P ' emoji, im disgusted.

Tim:, i hate not knowing anthing,

Barbara: same, he didnt write his prank anywhre so i have no idea on what hes doing

duke; maybe hes gonna do it during the night job? getting you all paranoid that he wont do it then cause its 'unsafe' to play pranks in the field?

steph: nah i dont think he'd do that tho, hes too paranoid incase something went wrong.

Damian: if father was worried about night job emergencies, he wouldnt send me back early every time catwoman shows up to 'discuss' matters.

Cass: :)

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Alfred: so what is it this year?

Bruce: i thought it would be funny to have them think im gonna do anything this year and then prank them tomorrow.

guy 1: god its tiring having to deal with the bats and regular goon work

guy2: woah dude we do not say that word around here , if you must describe us , use henchmen/guy , or even minion, but none of that goon shit.

guy1: why? its just a word to describe our work position?

guy3: you would NOT want to be called that after learning why all the young bats have been laughing at anyone thats calls themselves a goon , eugh

elsewhere

Jason: alright. which one of you told my guys what “goon” meant ? the goonion is literally voting on a new name and all the options suck

steph: pft i wonder

duke: yeah, heh

tim: damn goonion was such a good name

Dick is trying to coax him down gently.

Duke, just arrived afetr eharing the comotion: why is tim trying to kill himself again?

Damian; he was going through the Drake estates belongings and found his mothers diary

Duke; okay?? what was in it that was so devastating? Bruce: Damian maybe don- Damian: his mother wrote that she and her husband ,Jack Drake, had a threesome with Father and its a possibility that Timothy is Fathers biological child.

Jason, just chilling in the batcave, working on his helmet /weapons/some other thing

tim: Jason

json, startled: Hu-WhA!?! when did you get here

tim: jason

jason: what?

tim: why did i have to find out through email notification that you updated that one superbat fanfic

Jason: ah yeah, after that stakeout i thought it would be funny to update it and say in the notes that i died and then got kidnapped into a assassins club and then i had become a crime lord

tim: ….. you werent really subtle with details so anyone that lives in gotham knows its redhood that wrote the fic

jason: shit really? damn my street cred is ruined

tim: what street cred? you ate shit last week tripping over nothing infrot of your goons

Tim: im adding things to the point book

Damian, side eyeing : the point book?

Tim: the Point book

Bruce: .... Tim what is the point book?

Tim: its a book i put things in and how much -in a point system- someone likes that thing and if its good enough a gift for them.

Barry, speeding in: HOLY SHIT GUYS, you wont belive what i just saw Bats wearing context:

Dick, absolutely loosing it , Damian has no idea what hes yapping about : so what do you think i should do?

damian: plink dick: wh-at?

damian: i checked out almost immediately. ---------- after patrol, getting ice cream

Jason: they didnt have the flavour you like Damian: D: Jason: ?? . apparetnly its discontinued Damian: D: !!! -------- in the back of the batmobile, music playing, LOUD Bruce: ... Damian: catjam Cass: catjam

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at 3am

Tim: damian, is that my fucking ice cream , that i was saving, that youre eating. Damian, under his breath: .... CAUGHT --------- at a gala , watching as Brucie Wayne does Brucie Wayne things Duke: wonder whats gonna end up the headliner this time

Damian: CatMunch Duke: yeah, CatMuch indeed ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

idk what else to add ,making scenarios is hard, damian deffo prefer using the cat emotes tho. the emotes incase anyone doesnt know:

Nightwing:

police officer:

Red Hood, on comms, just for shits n giggles: and how does that make you feel

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my inspiration was this camera: