🖤🦅 the audacity of this bird mouth sonuva bitch

nothing like a little platonic frottage between bros

froternity of brotherhood

happy fourth of june-lie to all my liars and gaslighting icons!!! it is your solemn duty to lie to anyone and everyone today but especially men!!!

I'm imagining a world where RPGMaker somehow made it as the de facto codebase for software and you have to navigate your banking app by walking around in a huge room full of NPCs named "make deposit" and "make withdrawal" etc and there's loud as fuck stock music playing

Hello my beautiful human body! I’ve invited you here today to discuss adopting non-mucus-based solutions to common challenges—

i wish there was an animal that could see radio waves so I could transmit that i love them and every one on earth would know it

i would randomly broadcast the growling of their natural predator so theyre freaked the fuck out all the time

who the fuck are you

if tumblr was an online game i’d run my character up to your character and spam the jump button and do backflips and frontflips over your character’s head to show you i’m excited to see you on the dash

challenge: some company do something that doesn't have something to do with AI. difficulty level inconceivable

the sixth borough of new york city is the rest of the world

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

I would have said clit if I was her

you keep your clitoris in a plastic bag?

so i put my hands up theyre playing my song the evil skull flies away

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍