i cant handle this im gonna (thinks abt what cscott would do) kill myself

substance abuse is like the most normal response in these conditions

those days where your entire train of thought is just “I CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS I CAN’T DO THIS I’M NOT GONNA MAKE IT PLEASE HELP ME” and whole time ur just like. sitting at your desk completely fine

Burn the goat NOW please

im fucked up off a pear rn

swerving to avoid a dust speck in the middle of the highway and the guy behind me honks but when he runs into it his car is completely blasted apart

There's a scene in very early 60's Doctor Who where a character falls into a swamp, I think, and they throw not a rag doll, but a card board cut out of the actor. 10/10 they don't make 'em like this no more

How I would sleep if carbon dioxide poisoning wasn’t a thing.

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

y- you were putting it in cold water?????

Radish. Answer the question radish.

yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason

Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove

Its takes less than a minute

Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun

How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove

Like seven minutes

Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes… less than that is u use a saucepan…

Crying you’re putting the whole mug on the stove ???? On medium heat???? Ur stove is enchanted

Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic