nerd alert

sometimes all it takes is one cool breeze and i'm like. wow.. i'm going to live the fullest life everything is so great and i am so grateful and alive

400mg ibuprofen trip report

Its weird for me to think that dolphins existed at the same time as queens and knights and shit like that. I feel like dolphins were invented in the 80s by crystal shops to sell porcelain statues to divorced women

the Noir possibilities in this being your opening line are unmatched.

Im an esteemed scholar (Just opened my laptop)

Bad news about my academic career guys (Just closed my laptop)

they didn't even ban mpreg

man ive been watching videos of sheep getting shorn all night. makes me wanna be a sheep, getting man handled by a farmer who loves me, emerging from my cocoon of wool a totally new being. prancing around the barnyard so free, no longer weighed down by winter. i have clinical depression 

it’s posta like these that so encapsulate the spirit of tumblr while making it impossible to explain tumblr to my mom

this is like 100% what living with cats is like

the one where he’s abruptly alarmed by his pants is the funniest one to me

the older you get the more you relate. this how i talk to my kombucha

you just KNOW that if Bella had idk, worn eyeshadow? edward would have been like “oh, i can’t read the WHORE’S mind. that’s weird. anyways” and the book would have ended right there.