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i used to be a green onion

must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason

yummyummyummyummyummy yummy for piggy

my high horse is actually awesome and fast like the wind

I'm so horny I could fuck a person I was attracted to #TRUE

Betrayed and backstabbed by your scheming evil advisor? Psch. Skill issue. Absolute amateur problem. Just hire two of them and reward them for snitching on each other. Just make sure that neither of them is gay or they'll just end up hate-fucking each other and fucking you over all the same.

"hire two evil advisors but make sure neither of them is gay" are you hearing yourself right now. be serious

a warthog is a thog specialized for use in war

feng shui sabotage by placing thousands of tiny ball bearings in a bag under your couch you won't see them but you'll feel the clutter