perish on impact

im going to explode in the kiln

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

Girl with a uniform fetish who is turned on by all things and concepts an equal amount

apparently youre supposed to perform. they love it when you perform. but it has to be authentic. they hate it when it's not authentic. but you have to perform.

my camel straight up told me "man i am not carrying another fucking straw" like wtf asshole its just one straw whats your fucking issue

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

It's nice that loud noises don't stick to clothes like smells do. That would be really bad if they did.

hey um. so sorry to tell you this, but op of that post plays toys kinda weird. yeah you should just block them, that's not how normal people play with toys

this is what shipping discourse sounds like to me

When all you have is a vase, all your problems start to look like flowers

Well sometimes my problems look like two heads facing each other really close

me and my layer of mold have no strong feelings about this

i have a false tooth filled with a placebo in case i'm ever captured and need to be a control subject

gar field? that’s not where they’re supposed to be

oh wow… how serene…