i'm ur mom now @creatures-come-alive - Tumblr Blog

a customer said “earl gay” instead of “earl grey” and my lizard brain reacted fast enough to say “that’s what they call me in England”

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cognitohazardous

perks-of-being-chinese

Thanks, I hate it

woodrider

This is a parody website

doggendoodle

gla1ie

astro-b-o-y-d

Update: This is her husband

cvberitual

Their husband.

heyodaddio

our husband

harlivy

that one little girl really does play the younger version of every white protagonist right now… she has that market under control. Tonya Harding, Theo Crain, sabrina the teenage witch…etc. I cannot think of her name tho

harlivy

if your white protagonist has a flashback…McKenna Grace will be there.

garden-gh0st

Literally, her IMBd is just,

publiusmaximum

officialsolluxcaptor

THIS OFFICE HAD ITS BLINDS UP AND THIS IS WHAT I SAW

officialsolluxcaptor

i’m losing my mind. this is a high rise office building on the upper east side of manhattan. and the only piece of art on the wall in this office is a bikini clad anime girl with humongous bazookas that are bouncing out of sync. this can’t be real someone wake me up

the-four-humors

I know this print, it’s actually considered a fine art piece! It’s clearly based on Takashi Murakami’s live-sized statue ‘Hiropon’:

Which, yes, she’s skipping rope with milk that she’s lactating from her bazongas. It’s actually part of a set, the other one being titled ‘Lonesome Cowboy’:

Which features a Cloud look-alike lassoing with his cum.

Murakami is well known for taking ‘low art’ subject matter (anime, hentai, penises) and placing them in ‘high art’ contexts. I actually saw Hiropon in personal with my own two eyes at the Denver Museum of Art back in 2009. A lot of what he does is satirical, and it’s honestly pretty funny to see pictures of his artwork in American museums, surrounded by confused white baby boomers.

That said, without the context, it DEFINITELY slaps you in the face and makes you question what the fuck is going on. Had I not found out who he was in college, Hiropon would still haunt me as the most confusing thing I’ve ever seen in a museum.

officialsolluxcaptor

god thank you for explaining this but also i’m still being slapped in the face as i type

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guccixcucci

🤢🤢🤢imagine having a 🤢🤢🤢🤢having a cr🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 crush 🤢🤢🤢🤢on a boy🤮🤮

guccixcucci

bunkey

bernie sanders tribute

cornflakgirl

i watch this every single day

hatefuhk

when people ask where you see yourself in 10 years

turtle0verl0rd

JUMPING ON THIS OPPORTUNITY

rip-paramour

LAST YEAR WE CAN REBLOG THIS GUYS

creepy-crawley-crowley

Where’d the time go, huh?

distractedboyfriend

byecolonizer

https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nba/2018/07/30/lebron-james-promise-school-akron-ohio/862159002/

Some people don’t understand how big this is, opening a school, especially a public one is a huge undertaking and even with LeBron money it’s costly.

It’s really nice to see black celebs and athletes actually show their support for the community, rather than sparing a few words about it.

byecolonizer

biitumen

excuse me mr fucking bezos??

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I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.

But now the company holiday party is upon us.

And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.

I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.

basic-banshee

I like that people have two reactions to this post.

Reasonable: “just say she couldn’t make it!”

Chaotic: FAKE DATING AU

Well, which one is it going to be?

basic-banshee

And so it begins

having the DMV area Craigslist bookmarked has never come in handy before but now

basic-banshee

Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate.

basic-banshee

Apparently you can’t solicit a date as a “gig”

I now see my mistake

basic-banshee

Update: a date has been acquired. This is true lesbian solidarity in action.

justluckyiguess

My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating

basic-banshee

Can confirm I am meeting and mating just fine 😂

basic-banshee

By the way I’m in a relationship with this woman now

cooliopumpkin

basic-banshee

This is the feedback I’ve been looking for

tiktoks-we-like

grafai-ai

Man sees crab for the first time.

marshthemehllow

does he...

Live in the

Sea?!

asingularcanadian

Some fucking

mollusk

pulls up

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming