To Randomness and Beyond!

Batman: *alert, expression grave* We have an emergency.

Superman: *springing into action* Let’s go, you can tell me the details on the way –

Batman: It’s me. I’m the emergency.

Superman: *frowning, examining Batman with x-ray vision* No broken bones, no internal bleeding… what’s wrong?

Batman: I think I’m drunk.

Superman:

Superman: You don’t drink.

Batman: I had canned coffee. From the pantry. There’s crateloads of them.

Superman: *remembering Flash’s newest concoction* Oh

Batman: At first I thought I was just being affected by the sugar.

Superman: *remembering Flash mentioning that he had them specially made for his high metabolism* Oh no

Batman: You know I don’t consume much sugar, Clark. I’m not used to it. I thought it was The Sugar Rush™

Superman: How much did you drink?

Batman: I’d already drunk two cans when I read the fine print. I –

Batman: *clutching Superman’s shoulder, carefully enunciating* I imbibed two whole cans, Clark. Of metahuman-grade Irish Coffee.

Superman: *supporting Batman’s free arm, keeping him from acquainting his face with the floor* Oh no

Batman: I feel strange. I made small talk in the cafeteria. I might’ve cracked a joke at some point. I almost told Green Lantern he did a good job on the last mission.

Superman: Wow

Batman: But he didn’t do a good job, Clark.

Superman: *lips pursed, corners twitching* Mhm

Batman: My mental faculties have been compromised. I feel… bubbly.

Superman: *controlling his breathing*

Batman: I cannot be seen bubbly, Clark. I’m Batman.

Superman: *shoulders shaking, eyes glistening*

Batman: You need to get me out of here before I run around the cafeteria complimenting everyone.

Superman: Okay, just – give me a sec –

Superman: *sniffling* I’m memorizing every detail of this conversation so I can replay it forever

+

[Later, at the Batcave]

Superman: *flies in with Batman in a bridal lift*

Batkids: !!!!!!!!!

Nightwing: We received his emergency alert –

Red Hood: What the fuck happened –?

Nightwing: – he wasn’t responding –

Robin: Is Father conscious –?

Red Robin: I’m getting Alfred –

Superman: GUYS, guys, calm down

Superman: *puts Batman down on his feet* B’s just drunk.

Batman: *stands straight, dusts his shoulders, opens his arms*

Batman: Daddy’s home.

Nightwing:

Robin:

Red Robin: Okay, pause everything, I’m getting a camera *runs off*

Red Hood: *unblinking* Is this real

Batman: How are you boys this fine evenin’?

Robin: It’s 4 AM

Nightwing: Why is he speaking with a southern accent?

Superman: He’s been cycling through accents since liftoff. No idea why.

Red Robin: *returning with an 8K camera in hand* BEHOLD, the reclusive Gotham Bat in his natural habitat…

Batman: *staring at the lens, hands lifting his cape open at shoulder-height*

Batman: *fangs bared* I bid you velcome.

- he just refuses & drives away bcos like what are they gonna do

- he gives them his actual license and hopes

- he gives them his actual license & then bribes them to keep their mouths shut

Police Officer: can I see your license?

Superman: *quietly freaking out bcos there's no way this is going to end well*

Batman: of course *hands them his The Batman license*

Superman: ???

*after they drive on*

Superman: you have a fake license that lists your name as The Batman??

Batman: of course not.

Batman: it's a completely legal license. why? would you like me to arrange for you to get one?

Superman: I

The Team: but Captain Marvel’s only 10?

Captain Marvel: hi

at the end of the first episode the entire league shows up Captain Marvel is just kind of There in the background to glare at them disapprovingly and it’s like Billy you dick you are 10.

- Dystopian world England, eveythings falling apart, government isn’t doing anything and there’s a lot of internal fighting. They’re on the brink of a civil war

- The main character is a young adult, between 20-25.

- Name starts with an A. Axel, Archer, Alec, hmmmm

- Lives in the … worse section of London

- He was born into a world of unrest and it only grew, but when he was younger he found a book of Arthurian myths. He clung onto the hope that Arthur would come back with all his might.

- As he grew older, he began to realize it wouldn’t happen. Just a foolish fairy tale

- He turns his focus to protecting his younger brother and sister, and eventually ends up with a bit of a gang, a close knitt family. And yeah, maybe they don’t abide by the law, but they care for each other- and at this point, the law is like a ‘mild suggestion’

- “When I was younger, I used to think Arthur would come back and save us,” He admitted. “What a foolish dream.”

- “What if he did?” His sister sat up straight, and he could practically see the wheels turning as she worked out an idea. “Who even knows what the hell Arthur looked like? He had a sword, and he was a guy. He could be you.”

- So he gets a fancy sword, learns how to use it, yada yada, and walks up to Buckingham Palace to make a move for the Throne.

- Of course, no one can prove he isn’t Arthur, and as there are many who would be glad for this to end and are taking his side, they let him stay in the Palace and go to meetings etc.

- He sneaks food and resources to his family.

- His sister is badass with a gun but is mostly known for her mind, and her wild, crazy ideas that somehow work. 17-19.

- Name is either Skylar, Sage, or Shaya

- His brother is younger, but he’s good at getting into places and getting away with stuff, and he’s very likeable. (Humorous?) Is smol bean and I protect him with my life. 12-16.

- Name is Jack

- The general age range of the gang (they need a name, hmm) is between 10-25, with some exceptions. There’s about 20-30 of them. Obviously they don’t completely abide by the law, but at this point I don’t think there is much law. So, they’re mostly morally conscious but they have to survive…

- More to be added. Working on it.

what career historians do is not the same as what your high school history teacher does

what career historians do is not the same as what hobbyist "history buffs" on the Internet do

if you're looking at sources that are 20+ years old you cannot blame modern historians for what you find, history is a fast-moving and constantly-shifting academic field like any other

the fact that the concept of sexual orientation (which includes heterosexuality!) is only about 150 years old does not mean that people we would now call LGBTQ+, same-sex romantic and sexual behavior, gender transition, etc. have not always existed. Lots of things we can now recognize have always existed in humans, we didn't have a concept of until similarly recently (e.g. mental illness, most forms of structural oppression).

what looks "clearly gay" to someone in 2021 isn't necessarily what looked that way in 1821 or 1521 or 21 BCE, just like it's not what looks that way to people from other cultures today. It is for the benefit of LGBTQ+ people and history to recognize this, to recognize how LGBTQ+ people expressed ourselves in the past!

a lot of historians are ourselves LGBTQ+

1. Have proof they're a teenager first. More than just a picture, have a video call with them.

2. If you want to meet up with them, have your parents or a trusted adult come with you. Even if they are a proven teenager, its still good to have supervision in case any issues happen.

3. If you are talking to an adult, and they start being sexual in any way, you run the fuck away. It doesn't matter if they're 40 or 20. An adult inherently has a power dynamic that teenagers do not. And its up to the adult to act responsible about it. There's exceptions of course, if you're 16 and dating an 18 year old, that's not a problem, we're not talking about that.

4. Being in a server with adults or ran by adults is not inherently bad. Talking to adults is not inherently a problem, and will likely happen in any number of Discord servers. It is only an issue when they are acting sexual and show predatory behavior.

5. Look out for grooming behavior. It can be difficult, because at first it seems like innocuous behavior, like complimenting or giving gifts. Especially if you feel lonely and have low self esteem. And groomers actively target people like that.

If they start trying to isolate you, talk sexual with you, state they depend on you for emotional needs, blame you for their own actions, try to be secretive about the relationship- Then you need to talk to people you trust, block the perpetrator, and call the police on them.