Why Even Bother At All

If you're having a hard time just take a bunch of uppers and downers on an empty stomach, then drink a gallon of milk without peeing, turn off all the lights and run around in circles until you feel like throwing up. Then open up all your apps, doomscroll for four hours minimum, and then tell your loved ones that something bad is gonna happen to you, and delete your accounts, remove the sim card from your phone, get behind the wheel of a car and drive really fast towards the nearest government building.

The thing they don't tell you about fried egg runny yolk is that if you put it in a sandwich it will be the best most delicious thing and you can mop up the egg with the bread, but in exchange you Will get so so messy and covered in egg yolk

the new honda odyssey will tear your children limb from limb.

whore lore

"if being hard on yourself was going to work it would have worked by now" okay well being soft on myself isn't working either so what the fuck is left. medium? I gotta be medium with myself? I gotta ask the fucking ghosts for help? is that it?

somewhere out there there is an Etsy witch staring at a spell jar in complete awe

the other night i tried to make a curry and i got chilli burns all over my face, so i thought to myself ‘hang on, doesn’t milk soothe chilli burns? it does’ and i couldn’t google because i couldn’t see so i just had to blindly feel my way to the fridge and pour out a bowl of milk, and then plant my face in the bowl of milk, anyway at that point the rice cooker went off and triggered a power surge which turned my electricity off, which i didn’t notice at first because i had my face in a bowl of milk and when i did emerge from the dairy prison i thought i had gone blind with chilli burns. so no i don’t really cook much.