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IT IS

Being medicated isn’t for everyone, but it is a powerful tool in our toolbox. and I am seeing way too many people giving up that option prematurely, because they are unware that:

there are different medication options. they do not all have the same side effects, and not all are amphetamines 

dosage matters. if you are discontinuing bc of side effects, consider trying a lower dose first

a good doctor will be willing to work with you to find a regime that works

I know that’s such a “duh” statement but so so many people assume the high they feel for the first few days on a stimulant that works is how it’s always going to be and it’s not. Once your brain gets used to the new “normal” on meds, you lose that high feeling and get to a “hey, I can actually get shit done, lookit that” kind of place.

It amazes me how many people never had anyone explain that to them. I’ve been on some sort of SSRI for the last 20 years so when I started Adderall I knew what to expect. I had so many people (in a group for ADHD) tell me that the “holy shit look at me go!!!” feeling would wear off and it would stop working after a week or two and I had to walk them through just how wrong they were and quite a few had no idea that that feeling isn’t supposed to last long term. 🤦🏼‍♀️

I explained it like this:

Your unmedicated brain is used to operating at a 4 on a good day. It sucks, you’re all over the place, a hot mess. Then you get on a medication that works (antidepressant, stimulant, non-stimulant, whatever) and the first few days are incredible! You can’t believe that this is how it’s supposed to be! Your brain is now holding steady at an 8 or 9 and you are one productive bitch! But then your brain gets used to operating at an 8 or 9 and it becomes your new normal. It’s harder to recognize that the medication is still working because there’s no noticeable high anymore. You get bummed because you assume it’s not working and you either request a med change or a bump in dosage. Then 8 months later you’re frustrated and depressed because you’ve maxed out on the dosage of whatever med it is and you think nothing is going to work but really you’ve unknowingly self sabotaged.

Because the truth is, the first dose worked perfectly, but your squirrelly ADHD brain is so used to searching for the next dopamine hit that you failed to recognize that you were able to get through the tasks you needed to just fine. You weren’t hyperfocused on researching the nuances of plant breeding, you didn’t spend 5 hours in executive dysfunction while staring at your vacuum, you actually remembered to thaw out chicken for dinner. You missed all of that because you were looking for that high feeling that you had at first.

So, how does one figure out if the med is working or not when you can’t tell because your brain is a dopamine fiend? Personally, I make daily “ta-da” lists. Not lists of things I need to do, but lists of things I did. Before meds, I’d have maybe 5 things on a ta-da list. After meds, I’d have 15-20 things on my list! So it does work, even if I don’t feel like I’m on cloud 9 when I take it.

"none of you ever send corrections when I offer the draft so y'all have consented to my version"

"we don't read that shit"

"you must trust me implicitly to create our shared reality that's so sweet"