is your learning curve a horizontal line

And at first, Shane is like fuck yeah I get to be a husband, and then halfway through the season he’s like guys… I feel the need to remind you that I’m actually Shane fucking Hollander

She'd laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and gotten drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.

He is Freaking Out bc he doesn't actually know what Ilya's phone number is. His SIM card got crushed underneath a pair skates, so there's no recovering "Lily's" contact card.

On top of that, his old Ottowa number won't transfer to his Montreal provider. So "Lily's" texts will now be delivered into the ether. Or to some random person's phone if his old Ottowa number gets given out again.

Ilya of course has literally no idea this has happened and is sending his usual flirtatious messages to...silence. No response. He's not even getting left on read. Because the messages aren't even getting read. He goes through the five stages of grief. Fuck Shane Hollander, he doesn't need this shit. They're supposed to play against each other Tomorrow for fucks sake. His resolve lasts for about....two hours? And then he's on social media. What's this fucking asshole up to that he can't even read Ilya's texts?

He pulls up the first interview, the one right after Buffalo. Shane looks....really stressed out. Which is confusing given that they've just won.

"Yes of course I am super happy to win. Unfortunately the locker room celebration did get a little out of hand though."

He holds up his mangled phone.

"So if you're trying to contact me, sorry about that!"

He's blushing and smiling and seems so flustered and embarrassed. He's looking at a camera, millions of people can hear him, but he's speaking directly to Ilya. Ilya's face breaks out into his "you have a stylist?" smile. He feels....a little embarrassed about his crashout, but also super fucking relieved. Ilya swipes through a couple more videos and watches the most recent interview.

"We are absolutely looking forward to facing off against the Raiders. Also I brought this up last time but, turns out I can't keep my old phone number. So if you're texting me and I'm not responding, it's because I can't!"

He laughs, but it seemd a bit forced. Like he might tear up if he gets pushed the wrong way. Ilya goes back and watches through all the interviews since the Buffalo game. Shane has found a way to bring up his broken phone in every single interview for the past two weeks. It's so sweet...and also a little heartbreaking. He knew exactly what was gonna happen, and was terrified of Ilya thinking that he didn't want to talk to him. He didn't want Ilya to feel alone and confused and upset. He's so fucking ernest and endearing.

Ilya then has the rest of the Centaurs help him make a compilation of secretly filmed Shane moments showing how good a boyfriend he is

Ilya doing the “would you still love me if I was a worm?” thing and without missing a beat or asking any questions Shane just goes “Yeah”

Harris films himself asking Shane random Ilya questions and Shane always having an answer. “Hey what Ilya’s favorite milkshake flavor?” “Mint.” “I’m buying everyone fun socks, what’s Ilya’s favorite color?” “Blue, but only if it’s light, he doesn’t like dark blue.” “What’s Ilya’s favorite fruit?” “Pears.”

Troy waits for Shane to sit on the bench looking at his phone or tying his skates then says “Oh hey Ilya’s coming in” and catches multiple examples of Shane immediately scootching over to one side to make room for Ilya to sit next to him

Ilya puts his feet up on Shane’s lap silently and Shane starts lightly massaging them. Ilya lays his head on Shane’s shoulder and Shane starts quietly playing with his hair

They film Ilya handing Shane random things and asking him to hold them and Shane does without question. The internets favorite is the one where Ilya pulls a pineapple out of his bag and asks Shane to hold it and he agrees, getting his gear on one handed so he can keep holding the pineapple in the other

@deathbyhockey here you go again idk if anyone's done it for you yet

They were in Vegas, on the same roof top as all these years ago at the end of their rookie season.

Shane rolled his eyes with a fond smile and looked out over the illuminated skyline.

"I still can't believe you kissed me here."

"Oh, you can't?" another drag with a smirk.

"Someone could've seen us! I still don't-" Shane drew his brows together. Thinking something over. Ilya was well aquainted with his face when he disected something in his brain.

"What was up with you that night? You weren't jealous that I won." He stated it as a fact. And no, Ilya hadn't been. And now Shane knew him well enough that he realised that.

"No." He finished the cigarette and took a deep breath of night air.

"I was miserable because it was the first time going back to russia. My new life, my new...freedom-" he shrugged "it all felt like it was about to go away." Ilya's eyes found Shane's. "And then you came up here. With your freckles and your pretty eyes and suggested we fuck-"

"I did not!"

"Mhmm" Ilya pulled his lips to one side and tilted his head left and right. "Is what you wanted, Hollander."

"I-" Shane pauses because. Well, yes. But he made it sound so impersonal. It had been, kind of. But- ugh. "I guess."

Ilya grinned and came slowly towards him.

"It made me realise all the things I could never have." Shane was frowning at the explanation but his features softened when Ilya's hands found his hips. "But now look at me."

Ilya leaned in to kiss him and Shane's arms wrapped around him like muscle memory.

"Kissing my husband and is okay when someone sees." Shane let his forehead fall against Ilya's.

"Sorry I didn't know that then."

Ilya lifted his head to look at him, down the line of his nose with his eyes half closed and soft.

"It is okay, Shane." he dipped in for another kiss. "You can suggest we fuck now."