[shane voice] ok so i'm the pool boy and you're the older property owner who likes to ogle me while sipping lemonade
[ilya voice] with a little umbrella?
[shane voice] of course with a fucking umbrella. anyway
noise dept.
h
One Nice Bug Per Day
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

shark vs the universe
Noah Kahan
Sweet Seals For You, Always
tumblr dot com
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
taylor price
art blog(derogatory)
hello vonnie
Keni
will byers stan first human second

Kiana Khansmith
Misplaced Lens Cap

titsay
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

seen from Türkiye
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seen from Armenia

seen from Madagascar

seen from Italy

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seen from United States
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seen from United States

seen from United States
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@crackerslacker69
[shane voice] ok so i'm the pool boy and you're the older property owner who likes to ogle me while sipping lemonade
[ilya voice] with a little umbrella?
[shane voice] of course with a fucking umbrella. anyway

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she's just asked him this string of things no one has ever asked him (hardest question anyone has ever asked him: have you ever been with a guy? can't do anything but nod and think of Ilya, 19, in the showers. second hardest question ever, revealing his lifetime right here and now: have you ever told anyone that? tight shake of the head. was it different? laugh, of course, now its out in the open, oh man. wry smile, was it better? think of leaping into Ilya's arms, yeah, it was better) and then unprompted! he volunteers! makes the silliest goofiest joke ever ABOUT LIKING TO BE FUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he's nuts. and he makes her laugh! and then he eases up. she's had gay boyfriends before. he's okay. oh god. the emotional waves Jacob sends this guy on. and Hudson just rides it all.
@creamsiclemelt !!!!!!!THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!
btw the phrase "submissive and breedable" was only coined in 2021 and you just know it hit the Hollander-Rozanov household like a 20 megaton nuke
I think Shane would extra hate this one because he DOES kind of blush and get a boner when Ilya calls him this despite him clearly starting it as a bit of a joke.
After school care pulled me aside about my child dropping an f-bomb “without remorse” and I put on my concerned face and nodded a bunch.
Apparently he was building something with a younger kid “who really looks up to him and is just starting to make friends” and said “Hey, you’re really fucking good at this.” which is, in my estimation, really a parenting victory.
I absolutely failed at doing this:

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i do think there’s a world where ilya tells cliff marleau about the friendship plan and cliff is like “well if ur cover story is friendship than we need to make ur reputation with friends super gay king” and ilya is like “bro … you would do that … for us …” and cliff is like “no worries big dawg”. because like, hollander doesn’t do the gay for the homies thing naturally, but if roz has a reputation, it won’t be weird if he does it in public even if hollsy doesn’t reciprocate. cliff is a genius.
anyway, that’s how the internet spends a year speculating that ilya rozanov and cliff marleau have explored each others bodies. they are so all over each other and constantly tweeting gay shit about each other that ilya’s time with shane barely even gets a second glance. the first time ilya drags shane out to meet cliff, a photo gets posted on twitter and everyone is like “poor shane having to third wheel these two #ally”.
obviously shane is gnawing on furniture because he’s so jealous, but the plan does work. and when they get outed, cliff works it into his best man speech.
ilya loves sucking cock. 🥰 shane’s cock in particular. loves how fat and heavy it is on his tongue. loves how good he is at it, loves how impressed shane always is, despite how many times they’ve done it. loves shane’s soft little noises he makes, loves digging his fingers into shane’s plush massive thighs. loves when shane loses control and accidentally squeezes ilya’s head in between them, his mouth his full of and everything around him is shane.
condo stairway scene gets me every single time bc of the way ilya lingers. the way he takes way too long to tie his shoes & adjust his jeans, the way he stands for a moment even though his cab is definitely there & the way he teases shane as he slowly lowers himself to give the sweetest, most unhurried kiss goodbye.
When Shane texts “are you in public right now?”
Stripper Ilya AU - part two
See part one here
There’s a restlessness within Shane that he has no outlet for, trapped as he is in the back of the taxi. His knee rises and falls rapidly in an unsteady rhythm that feels entirely outside of his control, the excess energy looking for a way out.
He’s just nervous about his phone potentially having been stolen, he tells himself. That’s all it is. How could he have been so stupid as to just leave it there, on the table?
He could try and blame Comeou’s outburst, forcing him into a hasty retreat from the table, but he knows he was already distracted before then. There’s no telling whether he would’ve had the wherewithal to grab his phone even without the scene Gil insisted on causing.
He remembers the heat of the dancer’s gaze, how his mind felt foggy and limbs heavy with longing. He remembers how everything else faded away; everything apart from that sinful gaze boring into him.
He can feel a flush rise to his cheeks just at the memory and the nervous energy within him feels almost like a fist, clenching around his stomach.
He’s sweating a bit. It feels unnaturally hot in the back of the car, despite the cool November night.
“Could you turn on the AC?” he asks the driver. They may be the first words he’s spoken to him since giving him his desired location.
It’s not as though Shane is unaware of his unfortunate proclivity for the male physique. It’s been a few years since he really started noticing men like that - or, at least, since he noticed himself noticing them.
He was usually better at compartmentalising though; didn’t usually let himself slip like that around his teammates, of all people. But how could he have predicted the Adonis on stage, grinding and gripping and writhing. Looking at him like that. He couldn’t have. Nothing could have prepared him for that. It was regrettable but there was nothing to be done for it at this stage. Well, other than hope that his phone had been turned in to a member of staff, rather than stolen.
He forces his focus back onto the phone; after all, that was the reason for his nerves. Not the sultry gaze of a performer he probably won’t be seeing again. Most likely someone else will have taken to the stage by now. Not that Shane would see him even if he was still on the stage because he isn’t going to look.
He’s just going back for his phone.
God, he hopes it hasn’t been stolen.
He doesn’t think there’s anything too terrible on there that could blow into a huge scandal, even if it’s been picked up by some asshole who recognises whose phone it is and decides to leak everything on there. There are some progress pics, marking his muscle gain during the off season, some complaints about fellow Metros in his messages to his mom that he’d prefer to not become public, potentially some Google searches that could prove difficult to explain but that’s about it.
It could definitely be worse. At least he never gave into the urge to download Grindr.
Despite that, he can feel the anxious energy thrum within him.
His every nerve is alight and crackling with static electricity. His hands feel clammy. His knee hasn’t stopped bouncing for the entire car ride.
This is so stupid.
Like he told the guys, he’s just going to get his phone and then he’ll leave.
He’ll walk up to the bar and he’ll ask the bartender if anyone turned in a phone to her and then he’ll leave, hopefully with the damn phone, and go to his hotel and fall asleep.
He won’t look at the stage. He won’t scan the venue. He will keep his gaze firmly on the bartender and he will not let it stray. And then he’ll leave. And, whether he has his phone or not, everything will be fine.
There is no reason to overthink this.
It will be five minutes tops.
Tomorrow he will get on a plane and leave Boston behind and this night will become nothing but a funny story; that time Comou took the team to a male strip club. They’ll be able to joke about it in the locker room and it won’t make Shane feel like he’s swallowed a wasp nest.
He doesn’t notice that they’ve pulled up to the club until his cab driver asks him whether he’ll be paying by card or cash.
He tries not to wonder whether the driver has recognised him; whether some gossip rag will be reporting on Shane Hollander’s solo trip to a strip club in Boston by tomorrow morning; how long it would take someone to uncover the fact that, on this particular night, said strip club featured exclusively male performers.
He shouldn’t have given him the actual address of the club. He should’ve found some location around the corner from here.
He hands over his card and desperately hopes the driver isn’t a hockey fan. He’ll make sure to walk a bit further down the street before he calls another cab to take him back to the hotel, hopefully from his recovered phone.
He watches the car drive away and drags his hands over his face and through his hair.
It will be fine. There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for him being here. The bartender recognised the team and she will remember Shane. She will know he’s just there to pick up his phone and no one else will even notice him enter, that’s how quickly he will be in and out. Even if the story leaks, she’ll be able to attest that he only returned for his phone. Sure, he doesn't love the idea of the news reporting on the whole team going to a strip club but that's a story that will blow over in a couple of days. Shane Hollander attends a male strip show would stick around for longer.
He can feel his heartbeat pick up as he draws closer to the front door.
God, this is so stupid.
What does he think is going to happen? That there will be paparazzi camped inside the main entrance, just waiting to ambush him? That the dancer from earlier will give a tell-all interview and say what? That they'd shared a look?
He's being so dumb.
He halts just outside of the door and shakes off the nervous energy, the way he sometimes did when he was a kid, flapping his hands to get the energy out before letting the shake travel up his arm and loosen his shoulder. He rolls his shoulders back a few times, rolls his neck from side to side and breathes deeply, almost like when he’s psyching himself up for a game.
“Are you okay?”
Shane startles, his hand flying to his chest.
The voice is deep and masculine, coloured by some accent Shane can’t immediately place but sounds vaguely Eastern European.
There is a figure, standing to the right of the club’s entrance, a glowing cigarette in his mouth. The shade, caused by the overhang carrying the neon sign that proudly proclaims the club’s name, had cast him in shadow, causing Shane to entirely miss his presence until he spoke.
Shane’s hand is still placed over his rapidly beating heart, as the person draws nearer. Broad shoulders and tall frame, his hair an unruly mess of curls, and an amused smirk on his face as he takes in Shane’s shock. The man is immediately familiar to him.
“I’m sorry,” he continues, left hand neatly bringing the cigarette from his mouth. Shane sees smoke exit his nostrils as he seemingly stifles a laugh, no doubt at Shane’s expense.
There’s no mistaking that it is the dancer from earlier although his face seems transformed by levity, his sharp cheekbones somehow softened by the curve of his lips, his eyes sparkling in the dark rather than smouldering under stage lights.
Shane draws a deep breath and huffs lightly. “No, you’re not,” he says, shooting the performer a slightly awkward smile as he straightens up and brings his hands down by his sides, as though he hadn’t just been clutching at his chest in an attempt to keep his heart from breaking free of it.
The stunning man before him oozes a confidence that borders on arrogance, and the grin on his face - his clear amusement at how on edge Shane is - should be infuriating. Somehow, all it makes Shane feel is a fluttering in his stomach.
“No,” he admits, “I’m not.”
Shane scoffs lightly and hopes it comes off as annoyed, rather than amused.
Still, just to be polite, he sticks out his hand.
The man before him simply looks at it for a moment. It feels almost as though there is deliberate intent behind his every move; as though the arched eyebrow serves only to draw Shane’s eye to the man’s hooded gaze, as though the way the cigarette is brought to his lips with a loose grip is intended to have Shane’s eyes fall to his lips.
They’re good lips.
Pink, even in the limited light. Plump and soft looking. There’s a deep cupid’s bow in the middle of them that looks too perfect to be anything but deliberate; as if it was lovingly sculpted by an artist pouring everything into their work.
Shane snaps himself out of it when he realises he’s staring, drawing a deep breath, his hand still extended between them. “I’m Shane,” he prompts. “Shane Hollander.”
He watches as the goddamn renaissance painting before him withdraws his cigarette with his left hand before offering his right for Shane to shake.
“I know,” is all he says in reply.
Shane’s breath stutters slightly at the confirmation that the man recognised him. It should bother him more than it does.
“And your name is…” he says, prodding the man for an introduction of his own.
He seems a bit hesitant to answer. He takes another pull of the cigarette, his eyes scanning Shane’s figure, causing his ears to feel hot. It’s almost as though he is deliberating whether Shane can be trusted with this information.
“Ilya Rozanov,” he finally replies. “Here I go by Rozy.”
Shane nods and swallows hard. It takes him too long to realise that he’s still holding Ilya’s hand and once he does, he snatches it back as though he’s been burned.
“Okay,” Shane stutters, “well, nice to meet you,” he’s fumbling for his words a bit. Which is when it hits him. Ilya has no idea why he’s here. He just saw him seemingly psych himself up to enter a strip club, sans his team. For all he knows, Shane ditched the guys only to return here by himself. For all he knows, Shane is here because he liked what he saw and wanted to see more. He can feel a humiliating flush rise to his cheeks, “Um” he stutters, “I’m just here to get my phone. I forgot it earlier.”
The amusement is back in Ilya’s features as he nods at Shane, the way his eyebrows raise and the prolonged slow bobbing of his head suggesting that he’s less than convinced by Shane’s sputtering statement. “Ah,” he says, in acknowledgement of Shane’s excuse for his presence here. He then takes a final drag of his cigarette before dropping it to the ground and crushing it under the toe of his shoe.
He’s wearing grey sweatpants and a winter jacket. Shane’s eyes linger perhaps slightly too long on the sweatpants, his mind unhelpfully supplying him with the memory of Ilya wearing nothing but a pair of shiny briefs. When his gaze finally rises, meeting Rozy’s once more, it’s clear that his attention has not gone unnoticed.
“So,” Shane halts, rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck, “I should probably head in there and see if anyone turned it in.” He needs to get out of here; away from this man’s fog-inducing gaze and dangerous smile.
“Sveta has your phone,” Ilya immediately informs him.
“Who?”
“Svetlana,” he clarifies, as though Shane should know who that is. At Shane’s blank gaze, he further elucidates his meaning, “the bartender.”
“Oh.” Shane’s fidgeting a little. It’s good to know that his phone was, at least, found. That it hasn’t been stolen. All that remains is to collect it from the bar. “Well, great.”
He raises a hand in a half-wave, turning slightly to walk away, “I’ll just-”
Ilya stops him. Perhaps sensing his reluctance.
“I can get it for you,” he offers.
Instinctively, Shane has to shut him down. Some ingrained sense of not being a bother rearing its head. “That’s okay.”
“Is more busy now than it was,” Ilya informs him. “If you’d prefer to not go in,” he shrugs, “I can get it.”
Shane considers it. The risk of being recognised is not as high when he’s by himself, as opposed to with the team, and, sure, Boston is a big hockey city but it’s not at the level of Montreal, where he can hardly go anywhere without someone feeling the need to stop him for a picture or an autograph. Still, he’d really prefer not to risk it and if it’s busier than it was before…
“Oh,” he says, “um, okay, if you don’t mind.”
Ilya shrugs, “is no trouble.”
Shane nods. Thanks him.
The smile on the man’s face seems a private thing, as though layers of meaning are hidden behind it. Shane doesn’t quite trust himself to read it correctly but it’s a nice smile, slightly crooked, the left side of the lip lifting higher than the right. His eyes are warm but hooded, they trail over Shane’s figure and Shane can feel the hairs on his body stand to attention. He’d like to blame it on the cold but the truth is that, so far, the cool night air hasn’t registered as anything but a nice balm against the heat of his skin.
“You wait here,” Ilya tells him before turning and entering the club. It’s not as though the guidance is necessary. It’s not like Shane would leave without his phone. After all, that’s what he’s here for. That’s all he’s here for, he reminds himself. It’s easier to remember when out from under Ilya's intoxicating attention.
He leans up against the wall, hoping the same shadows that kept him from noticing Ilya will disguise his identity from any patrons leaving or entering the club. It’s not like there’s a steady stream of people but there are a few new arrivals as Shane waits for Ilya to return. Each time he averts his gaze, looks away from the front door and onto the pavement. Hoping not to get noticed.
It’s a while before Ilya returns. It’s a brisk night. Shane hadn’t really noticed quite how cold it was before but, standing here by himself, it’s starting to seep into his bones. He didn’t exactly dress to spend the night outside.
When he finally comes back, Ilya walks right up to Shane, the phone in his outstretched hand. “This is yours, right?” he asks.
Shane presses the button on the side of the screen to light it up and is greeted with the familiar lockscreen photo of the Stanley Cup. “Yeah,” he confirms, “thank you.”
“Not very subtle,” he teases, nodding his head at the photograph filling the screen, and, no, Shane supposes it isn’t. He hadn’t exactly had the possibility of his phone being stolen in mind when he selected it as his lockscreen.
“I guess not,” he concedes, slipping the phone into his pocket before pushing away from the wall. There’s something about Ilya’s presence that makes him want to stay. That only makes it more important to leave. “Well,” he begins, “thank you agai-” but Ilya cuts him off.
“Are you sure that is all you want?” he asks. Shane pulls up short, stopping in his tracks.
Ilya’s eyes are firmly locked on Shane, his lips slightly parted. His posture seems deceptively relaxed, like a predator luring their prey into a false sense of security, but the eyes give him away. They track Shane’s movements as he fidgets slightly, shifting his weight. He can feel his breathing pick up in response to his elevated heart rate.
“What do you mean?” he asks.
If he had thought the look he shared with Ilya when he was on the stage was intense, it is nothing compared to this.
This is reckless. This is dangerous. Standing here, where anyone could see him, slowly being undressed by the searing gaze of the man before him.
Still, he doesn’t move.
“The VIP room is free,” Ilya tells him and Shane’s breath stutters.
“What?”
Ilya draws a deep breath and takes a step closer to Shane. Instinctively, Shane takes a step back, right into the wall of the club. Ilya doesn’t halt his movements until they’re so close that a deep breath would cause their chests to brush. Luckily, Shane’s breathing is entirely too shallow for that to be a pressing concern.
“We have three VIP rooms,” Ilya tells him, his voice low. He’s so close that Shane can smell his breath, it smells strongly of mint and, underneath that, not quite masked by the spearmint, is a hint of cigarette smoke. It should be more unpleasant than it is. “The big room is booked for bachelorette,” he continues, “the other two are free.”
“Okay?”
Ilya raises his eyebrows at Shane, as though he is being purposefully dense.
He slowly brings his hand up to stroke down Shane’s shoulder, his touch so light that it almost tickles, sending a shiver up Shane’s spine. “People can book these rooms for private dances,” he explains and, sure, Shane could have guessed that but hearing the words in that suggestive accented drawl causes a rush of desire to flood his system.
“15 minutes is $300,” Ilya keeps up the motion of his hand as he speaks, halting at Shane’s elbow before running it back up to his shoulder. “Gets you four songs.” Shane feels a little bit lightheaded. He should leave. He has his phone back. There is no reason for him to stay. Still, he remains rooted to the spot, lips parted and breathing shallow.
“Half an hour costs $500,” Ilya continues, “you get some songs, some just talking, spending time together.” Ilya’s hand has made its way to Shane’s chest and he is mortified by the idea that Ilya may be able to feel just how hard his heart is beating. Shane knows he could push him away. Even though this guys has a couple of inches on him and is clearly built from what Shane remembers of his bare chest and arms, Shane’s a professional hockey player. He could easily take him. Still, he doesn’t move.
“For $800 you get an hour. We can chat, you can look without pretending not to, you can touch,” As he speaks, Ilya runs his hand up Shane’s chest, over his peck and up to his neck, where he presses down on Shane’s shoulder, digging his fingers slightly into Shane’s tense muscles in a way that has him biting back a moan. “$200 more and you get bottle service.”
“I don’t really drink during the season,” Shane replies, as though that’s his main concern with Ilya’s proposition. His voice comes out thin and breathy. He feels barely present.
He draws a deep breath, his lungs filling with the scent of cigarettes and mint and, underneath it, something less definable; something warm and amber, almost oaky, the scent of Ilya himself. They’re standing so close now that there would be no way to play this off as a casual conversation if someone were to exit the bar at this exact moment. Shane can only hope they’re at least partially cloaked by shadow.
“I do,” Ilya says, shrugging.
“Oh,” Shane says, nodding mindlessly, “would you like me to order bottle service?” he asks. His mind feels like it’s been dipped in treacle, his every word is dredged from somewhere deep within him, seemingly with little input from Shane himself.
Ilya’s eyes sparkle with warmth, “it could be nice,” he tells him in a whisper and when did his lips get this close to Shane’s ear?
“Okay,” Shane breathes back.
Ilya pulls back a little, his eyes scanning Shane’s face, as though the reply surprises him somewhat. Like he expected Shane to put up more of a fight. “Okay?” he asks.
Shane nods, “okay.” It’s a sublimely stupid idea but the small smile that pulls at Ilya’s lips feels like a shared secret and Shane is unable to resist its allure. Still, with the additional breathing room afforded to him by the way Ilya has leaned back slightly, his brain seems to come back online just long enough to raise a single concern; “wait, you said it was busy now.”
Ilya tilts his head a little towards the corner of the building, away from the main entrance they’re stood beside, seemingly unconcerned. “I can take you in side door,” he says, “leads straight to VIP room,” and despite the fact that it is an inarguably terrible idea, Shane finds himself agreeing.

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Honestly? What if we had more of hollanov lounging between the other’s legs and getting lazily jerked off? Underrated comfortable sexy position to give and receive pleasure. They’re in comfortable stay at home clothes all disheveled, they’ve got sport on the TV and dinner in the oven, and they’re wasting the good lube just cuddling the other to them and jerking them off slow. When it’s Ilya he’s nuzzling in his husband’s armpit while he watches his cock in Shane’s big hands. When it’s Shane he’s reaching back to pull Ilya’s hair in time with Ilya jerking him. They got a workout in but otherwise they have no where to be, and their phones are on silent. They can do whatever they want whenever they want because they’re together all the time now, and today they want to take their time getting each other off, whispering dirty nothings to each other and taking breaks to watch TV when they want to draw it out, and just feel close. What if we had more of that?
myshane please come home we miss you
Quick shout out to the Down syndrome kid from my after-school program back when I was in grade school. Like yea he had the usual issues but he was a sweetheart and quite funny; and one day both his parents showed up at the same time to pick him up and I had the experience of meeting a family of genetically disabled people that had jobs and a home and a kid in school and it was a profoundly normalizing experience for me like I couldn’t take eugenicists seriously after that because like “no they totally can have whole entire meaningful lives with marriage and children and work and hobbies have you not met Dennis??” Anyway quick shout out to Dennis you were a real one
Ok walk with me?
Shane is accidentally fuck drunk on the plane home with all the cens post a swing of away matches.
Like it’s not really Shane and Ilya’s fault. Not really. Ilya wakes up before Shane’s alarm, and Shane is sprawled on his tummy asleep underneath ilya, who is half laid over him, his arm around Shane’s waist and face smushed into Shane’s warm shoulder. They’d won last night and the two games before that and the heavy thrill of it was settling into Ilya’s veins, how right this year felt, how good it felt being on the same team as Shane, seeing this thing all start to work.
Anyway- blah blah blah, Ilya is kissing up over the back of Shane’s neck, his short hairline, over his ears and shoulders, lazy nuzzles of his nose because they have time. It’s just early light in the room and Shane’s alarm hasn’t gone off yet, meaning they have time. They’d fucked last night, frantic and hot against the door of the hotel, still half sweaty from rushed showers at the rink. Adrenaline thundering through the pair of them. It had been desperate and rushed, spit instead of lube and grabbing hands.
They’d showered after and curled up in bed and kissed sweet and slow and passed out hard. And now, now Ilya wants him again, needs him again, dizzy proud of Shane, dizzy happy of waking up to his pretty boy in his bed. His husband, his teammate. Fuck it makes Ilya feel crazy. Shane wakes up to the lube slick of Ilya’s fingers petting over his hole, sighing happily and rolling his hips back once, twice. “Mmm sore” Shane exhales and Ilya hums, presses his nose behind Shane’s ear, and Ilya’s fingers are soft and sweet and he’s making a sad little sound. “Sorry sweetheart” he exhales, knowing they’d been rough last night. “Let’s kiss is all better baby” Ilya had used his mouth on Shane’s dripping wet with saliva and slow, made him cum like that and then got him open on his fingers because Shane had softly whimpered and asked for “more please” then they’d snoozed Shane’s alarm a few times because then they’d both wanted Ilya’s cock inside him after that. They fucked deep, slow and heavy.
Ilya had been laid over Shane’s body, pressed skin to shin, Ilya’s neck tucked into Shane’s neck, kissing and licking and nuzzling into the soft skin. Ilya’s arms had been wrapped around Shane, one around his chest the other under his head, Shane’s face in the crook of his elbow, panting wet and hot into the skin.
His fifth thrust inside Shane had whimpered, turned his face into Ilya’s bicep and kissed at the warm skin and sighed “can still feel you from last night, feels good. Feels, like a lot, you already feel big in the morning but it’s even more” he’d whispered, soft and true and Ilya had gripped his face and licked into his mouth, kissed him hot and needy and then told him him how fucking good he felt, how good he was, his boy. And it’s so dizzy good like that, in the dark quiet early morning of the hotel room, under thick soft hotel bedding, just the pair of them whispers and heavy touches, slick messy kisses. Then Shane’s sucking Ilya’s fingers and they are moving slow, sore from the night before, the pleasure is stretched out and lazy and hot and good good good.
Shane gets fuzzy, so fucking hard and so fucking open and full of Ilya and the sheets are so soft and feel so nice under his cheek, and Ilya is holding him so tight and is so big over him and the ache of his muscles from last night feels sore and good and he just kinda softly slips into another space, that warm lightheaded fuzz that Ilya can send him into. He’s sucking on Ilya’s tongue, his fingers, nuzzling into Ilya’s face and then he’s just he only exists in the hot aching place he and Ilya connect, he needs. He needs. They come with whimpering I love yous, Ilya’s hand gripping Shane’s jaw, face with such force it makes his cheeks smush and Shane’s lashes flutter at the force of his orgasm. Shane nuzzles and kisses and mouths at Ilya’s forearm as Ilya cums all over his back, his ass.
Ilya doesn’t realise till Shane is so far gone until he reached down to ease himself out and Shane whines, whines, reaches back and grips at Ilya’s body, “stay” he exhales, and Ilya is leaning back down over him, finding Shane’s face and his palm and tilting him up to his gaze and Shane’s eyes are half lidded and cheeks red and he’s leaning in to try and find Ilya’s mouth like it’s the only thing that exists.
“Ohhh bunny” Ilya cooes, and kisses over Shane’s flushed cheeks, knocks their noses other. “You are gone yes?” Ilya asks, low voice, and Shane just turns his face further into Ilya’s, like he’s trying to burrow into his skin.
“Was goooood” Shane exhales, and his and hand goes up into Ilya’s curls, tugging and fidgeting with them. Ilya can’t help but beam, and he’s kissing all over Shane’s face, arm warm around him to keep him close.
Ilya smooths his hand down to grip at Shane’s ass, cooing a low “always good, you’re always good” and then- then Ilya’s alarm goes off which fuck. Means they have like half an hour to be downstairs ready to go- and Shane just huffs and rubs his face into Ilya’s neck and says “turn it off” and Ilya lets out a low laugh and then ten seconds later he’s pulling back- “oh fuck Ilya. We’ve gotta go” he says, wide eyed and Ilya sucks his teeth and rubs his thumb over Shane’s cheek and she’s like “da bunny, we do, I’m sorry- we got. Hm carried away” Ilya says low, kisses Shane’s nose and chin and squeezes him to his chest with a firm cuddle.
“we need to go, but is okay” Ilya reassured him and it is. Ilya gets Shane into the shower and kisses him deep till Shane’s toes curl against the tiles and then he’s slipped out to let Shane finish in the shower while quickly packs them up- gets them clothes, raids the mini bar for an apple juice. He makes Shane sip at the juice and Ilya gets them dressed, loose sweats, a hoodie of Ilya’s that’s too big for either of them pulled onto Shane, hood up over his wet hair. He’s more himself by the time they get out of the room, but it’s rushed and not how Ilya likes, he likes to kiss Shane back to being warm eyed and snarky and calling Ilya an asshole. Likes to touch and hold him close, tease him and maybe make him cum again, make him squirm like it’s too much. Then bring him back with a bath and kisses and talking.
Shane looks spacey, likes he’s come off three hard shifts on the ice, cheeks still flushed and eyes so dark and long slow blinks. Loose limbed and unsteady.
Shane sinks into Ilya’s side in the lift, yawning heavily and he’s pressing his face to Ilya’s throat and his hand is shoving into Ilya’s pocket. Ilya puts a hand up under his sweatshirt and rubs at Shane’s warm hip, lower back.
They get to the lobby just as the coach is pulling up outside to take them to the airport. The boy don’t pay them much mind, soft mutters of “cap” “hollzy” “morning” early enough for most of the team to be half asleep or hungover still.
On the short ride to the hotel Shane falls asleep curled into Ilya’s side, hood still up, his hand under Ilya’s sweatshirt, resting on the low of his stomach, pink finger tucked into the waistband of Ilya’s sweats. Fabric covered the quiet needy affection. Ilya’s hand rubs up and down Shane’s back, squeezes the back of his neck when he fusses.
It’s only once they get to the airport that the guys realise Shane is off. “Hollzy you get hit last night” Bood asks, rubs the top of his head in passing as they settle into seats by the gate. Shane shakes his head, blinks heavy and says “oh um no. Just uh feel a bit” Shane shrugs and waves his hand and Bood nods, starts talking about his sister having the flu and these immunity supplements he thinks are “bomb”. Ilya pulls Shane’s leg over his once they are sat, tugs him to rest his head on his shoulder.
Troy offers Shane like six different snacks he keeps producing from his bag. Shane’s just all slow shakes of his head and he only accepts the coffee Ilya had asked bood to get for him. Shane smiles against the cup when it’s a Mocca, chocolate sweet and heavy and comforting on his tongues. Keeps one hand in Ilyas as they sit together, heavy and all yawns. Hass and Hayes both talk about how “cute” they look, cuddled up- far more than their usual affection. It’s sweet Ilya thinks, that the boys notice the change in Shane but Ilya feels like a frustrated guard dog, protective of this soft lovely Shane that is only his. Ilya aches to kiss him, to draw love hearts with his fingertips over Shane’s hips till he gets too shiver and shoves his hands away. To feed him grapes and oranges by hand and have a far too long shower and curl up in bed together again, maybe doze a while.
When they finally get on the plane, Ilya cant help himself, pushes up the arm between the seats as soon as he can and pulls Shane into his chest. Shane doesn’t even try to protest, shoves his face into the warm skin between Ilya’s shoulder and jaw, with a weighted exhale. “Baby” Shane whispers and Ilya nods, nods, tucks a hand to Shane’s cheek, under the fabric of his hoodie and his fingers find his earlobe to rub rub at it. “I know” Ilya mutters, squeezes Shane in a warm hard hug. “I know, you did good” he praises, honest, because Shane had done good, so good getting here. Ilya rubs his cheek against the top of Shane’s head. The fabric of the hood soft.
“Everyone get to see you so pretty, lucky them, but now you’re just for me” Ilya grumbles, smooths his hand from the back of shanes head to the low of his back over and over, until Shane goes heavy, asleep in Ilya’s arms.
no but just let me watch shane jacking it solo I think it would fix me
@pollutionfair ASSDFKFJSKDJ

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I kept forgetting my nighttime antidepressant so I set an alarm where the sound was a recording of me saying "HEY. TAKE YOUR FUCKING PILL" because I thought it would be funny. It was funny about three times, and then it started making me mad and I'd dismiss it right away to make it stop. So I handed my phone to my partner, who made another recording sweetly saying "Okay Shira, it's time to take your medication" and now I don't get mad anymore and I take my pill. The "compassion over punishment" camp has gotta get something wrong one of these days
do you think ilya ever holds his own boobs for emotional support