titsay
AnasAbdin
Cosmic Funnies
Mike Driver
Sweet Seals For You, Always
d e v o n
★
roma★
izzy's playlists!
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
i don't do bad sauce passes
NASA
almost home
art blog(derogatory)
we're not kids anymore.
todays bird
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Kiana Khansmith
@theartofmadeline
$LAYYYTER
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@counttojenthousand
my nephew, who is like 11 or 12, is playing “5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel”, which is exactly what it says on the tin, and I have never been more terrified of the youth of today
here’s a sample picture from the Steam page:
what the hell is this
When boomers say video games cause violence this is the one they’re talking about
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you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life
New headcannon: everyone in that song is gay except the Piano Man who has no idea he’s playing at a gay bar and the staff and regulars have a betting pool on how long he’ll take to finally figure it out. So far John is ahead.
“The manager gives me a smile ‘cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been coming to see” also implies that the Piano Man is possibly an incredibly attractive but oblivious himbo, and if you listen to the rest of it imagining that, this all fits a little too well.
I have now seen this thread linked on Facebook by an acquaintance who has no idea of my Tumblr identity; this is it, this is my Tumblr claim to fame
The water is blessed, said the priests; it is holy. Any evil it touches, it will burn away.
But what if it is diluted? asked the acolytes.
The priests smiled.
It can’t be, they said.
***
The first of the holy water splashed across the brow of the baby, wailing and shivering in her mother’s arms, and the droplets ran over newborn skin to fall upon the soil.
They drained into the earth, mingling with the dew; and the dew became holy too.
***
The grass that grew on the soil drank some of the water in, drawing it into cells that were instantly blessed, filled with purity. Later, the sheep grazed upon the grass. The blades were sweet and lush, fat with rain, and as the sheep ate, the blessing in the grass flourished within it, coursing through now-sacred blood.
***
The rest of the water sank lower through the soil, washed down with the rains. Groundwater flowed, consecrated, sweeping below the earth beneath the reach of roots or the eyes of humanity.
There was more water there, and the holiness grew.
***
It can’t be? the acolytes asked. How can it not be diluted?
It converts, said the priests. A drop of holy water in a flask from the lake turns the whole flask holy.
What if a drop reaches the lake? asked the acolytes.
Why would that happen? asked the priests.
***
The butcher slew the sheep, taking the meat for cawl. It bubbled in its pot over the fire, the water from the cells of the mutton leaching out into the rest of the stew until all the family groaned at the sweet scent.
It tastes better today, they said, as they ate heartily. We wonder why?
***
The groundwater reached the river, and the whole vein became holy.
***
The butcher’s son was caught by the vampire the following night, wandering home just a little too late, a little too drunk, a little too alone. I wonder if you could help me? the vampire asked, and the butcher’s son followed where he should not have gone.
The vampire sank hungry fangs into unwilling flesh, and the butcher’s son accepted the end.
But it did not come for him.
***
What can have happened? the vampires asked afterwards. What strange power is held by the butcher’s boy? What did he do?
It was a mystery, baffling and wrong. The vampire had been strong and savvy, a hunter of renown. Now, her veins burned, her body aflame from the inside out.
Sickness, maybe? they said uneasily; but there was no sickness that could take a vampire.
***
The river gave drinking water to all the people of the region, in towns and villages and farmsteads alike. The holiness grew, spreading from land to bodies, young and old, rich and poor, believer and unbeliever, coursing through veins and hearts.
And the river flowed on.
***
Something is wrong, the vampires said.
It was clear now; every vampire in the land was sickening, burning from the inside out as they fed.
No sickness, said the elders, shivering and broken. A corruption. A taint, spreading unchecked like rot. We must leave this land, move elsewhere.
There is something in the water.
***
The river reached the ocean, and the holiness spread from shore to distant shore.
***
We are safe here, the vampires said, collapsing on foreign soil. We cannot touch the ocean; but why should we need to? The humans cannot drink it either. We are safe here.
We are safe.
***
The sun shone over the waves.
Water rose on the warmth, evaporating to the sky. It greeted the clouds, and the holiness blossomed through them.
***
When the rains fell, the vampires screamed; for they knew the end was coming. Every raindrop burned, every splash agony, and they wept and watched in horror as the rains filled the wells, filled the soils, filled the lakes and rivers and valleys and moors, the corruption seizing the new land in its iron grip.
This is the end, they whispered, crumbling to dust. This is the end.
This is the end.
***
The water is blessed, said the priests; it is holy. Any evil it touches, it will burn away.
But what if it is diluted? asked the acolytes.
The priests smiled.
It can’t be, they said.
I am astonished that almost 100 people have in some way enjoyed this Water Cycle fanfic.
I just realized this last comment is by the OP and I’m shitting myself
My OC is named Patricia Olander. She’s got a genetic condition that makes her grow rapidly and renders her immortal.
She was born in Orlando, Florida, 250,000 years ago. Her dad was a mechanic and her mom taught high school physics.
When she was 12 years old she had to be evacuated into the middle of the Pacific lest she crush the entire state of Florida. The top of her head was briefly colonized and declared an independent island nation.
She had to get her bachelor’s degree at age 22 by listening to radio signals beamed at her from a powerful radio array at a delay of 30 days because she was larger than the entire planet Earth.
For her 32nd birthday she wished goodbye to her friends and parents by rearranging the stars and then left the Milky Way galaxy completely.
She’s currently 12,000,000,000 light years tall and continues to grow. Soon her growth will outpace the expansion of the universe itself and she will break from its confines and become God.
She likes experimenting with her looks, pulp detective stories, and horses.
She lives the most singular existence out of any being to ever be born.
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You see it. The "Watch Earlier" button at the corner of the YouTube thumbnail. It's a video about how to invest in the stock market. Probably a stupid gimmick, or an April's Fool prank, or maybe a weird translation error.
Just as a joke, you go to press it. But then you pause. What if it's real? What would happen? Would the memories of watching the video enter your head? Would the trajectory of your life change?
Dimissing your concerns, you click the video. But you were right, your life did change.
You have the distinct memory from 5 days ago of a guy talking fast for 45 seconds before trying to sell you a bogus sounding "investor seminar" and then you clicked off.
You look down to realize your life has indeed changed. The events of the past few days have progressed in such a way to lead you into a whole new present. Your shirt is blue now instead of red.
You're both amazed and unimpress with the result in the few minutes before the timeline corrects itself and you get annihilated by temporal energy.
just learned about a building in london that is so poorly designed it becomes a death ray that melts cars and creates a downdraft effect with wind so powerful that it knocks full grown adults to the ground
imagine being knocked over by a gust of wind from this ugly ass building and then being cooked TO DEATH by the sun reflection like what a way to go
i learned about this like last year or somethign and this building is literally th satan come alive. building that tries to fucking kill you and fry you like an egg
top ten buildings that Want To Harm You
this building is like I Will Flip You Over Like A Hamburger And Fucking Cook You
The use of the present tense isn’t quite accurate because they did fix the issue immediatly after this so its no longer a death ray but yes it did partially melt a very expensive Jaguar. Its nickname ‘the walkie talkie’ got beautifully bastardised to ‘the walkie scorchie’ following this. Its also widely accepted to be the ugliest of London’s skyscrapers.
And I just wanna bring up the fact that this is not the only monstrosity built by Rafael Vinoly - he’s also responsible for the eyesore of Manhattan that is 432 Park Avenue.
Residents here have repeatedly complained about the realities of living in this haunted pool noodle, including ‘catastrophic’ floods, loud bangs and creaks, and an elevator that refuses to work when its windy.
I would say we should stop letting this guy make buildings, but he only seems to fuck over millionaires so I’m not in a hurry to end his career just yet.
@branovices it’s my pleasure to inform you that the Vdara ‘death ray’ Hotel is also the work of Rafael Vinoly
For those that don’t want to Google it…
This man should be arrested for attempted murder
I think from ages 14 till 18 you shouldn’t be allowed to read books. This has 2 advantages, namely:
1. You can spend more time underage drinking and/or smoking, a valuable social bonding experience for any teenager
2. This will successfully destroy a large part of the Young Adult genre.
This sounds like a great premise for a Young Adult novel.
have you ever noticed you pick up little habits and phrases from the people you love? it’s no wonder our hearts are so easily broken when people leave. we become a reflection of the people that we care about and those personality traits stick with us even if the people don’t
I make my ramen the way a friend taught me in eleventh grade. Every fall, I listen to a playlist made for me by a boy I drove across a border to hook up with. I eat sushi because a girl who won’t talk to me anymore made me try it, and Indian food because my best friend’s parents ordered for me before I knew what I liked. There are movies I love because someone I loved loved them first. I am a mosaic of everyone I’ve ever loved, even for a heartbeat.
i just read a washington post article on romcoms aging poorly due to the pushiness (and oft-stalkery conduct) of the male characters therein, and it got me thinking about pride and prejudice, and specifically darcy saying, “one word from you will silence me on this subject forever.”
because, like, that’s the seldom-portrayed romantic dream in the patriarchal hellscape that is our world, isn’t it?
a dude being willing to say, “i understand if you don’t feel the same way about me, and i’ll leave you alone forever about this if my attention is unwanted.”
so simple, yet so wonderful in its basic human decency
and dudes to this day wonder why women still swoon over darcy
Note also: Elizabeth turns down Darcy’s first proposal, and in the process, accuses him of doing some stuff he did not do (and also some stuff he totally did).
The next day, he surprises her on her walk. He hands her a letter, asks that she read it, and then takes off.
When this happened to me after I had turned someone down IN REAL LIFE, the letter contained a passionate argument to the tune of “actually you’re wrong and you do like me and you should go out with me” and it was creepy af.
Darcy’s letter to Elizabeth starts with: “Be not alarmed, Madam, on receiving this letter, by the apprehension of its containing any repetition of those sentiments, or renewal of those offers, which were last night so disgusting to you”. He goes on to set the record straight about the stuff he didn’t do (as well as the stuff he did) which is *actually relevant* to Elizabeth. And he, as promised, doesn’t romance her further.
It’s totally bizarre that even now, this can be considered unusually great dude behaviour.
Darcy’s first proposal: “You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”
Darcy’s second proposal: “One word from you will silence me on this subject forever.”
His whole arc in the book is about learning to consider other people’s feelings and not just his own, but the fact that it’s expressed via who gets to talk and who is told to shut up is so, so telling. The first time around, he imposes his voice on her whether she wants it or not. The second time, he asks how she feels, and in exchange, offers her the gift of his silence.
And yeah, the fact that dudes still! have! not! learned! this! lesson! is exhausting.
How surprising is it that Pride and Prejudice was written by a woman, when many romantic comedies are produced and directed by men?
Answer: not at all
200 years later and the world is still full of guys who think they’re a Mr Darcy when they’re actually a Mr Collins.
200 years later and the world is still full of guys who think they’re a Mr Darcy when they’re actually a Ross Geller.
All of this.
As the Wife of Bath’s Tale says. All women want is sovereignty. Not over men. Over their own lives and choices. Still trying to get there, and today hearings open for a Supreme Court nominee hand-picked to end women’s right to choose. The fact that she’s female doesn’t make her likely effect on reproductive freedom any more acceptable
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I don’t know whether to be impressed or a bit weirded out…
> The walk to the camera is the creepiest thing I’ve seen in a long time.
Encounter: the Uncanny Orb Bard (and his little friend)
Coño don limpio
mr clean off the shits
am fascinated by the implication that this person thinks that a backflip clean out of his pants and onto a swing would be easier
*remembers the grandpa from stardew valley’s shitty ass bed*
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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