a harpoon will do

this is standard issue uncle

be good to people for no reason

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

Wait hang on... was I traumatized as a teenager? *thinks about it for a bit* Well I can't remember anything traumatic so it's probably fine.

Writers have two modes and they are "i haven't written in three weeks and i am rotting from the inside and everything feels wrong and i don't know who i am anymore" and "i wrote for four hours straight and forgot to eat and it's dark outside and when did that happen and i feel like a god" and there is nothing in between. no chill. no medium setting. just famine or feast and a very confused nervous system.

whenever I have buffalo wings I always wipe my hands on my dog and he screams loud as fuckkkkk