All Penguins Are Valid

FUCKKKKK YESSSSS SOMEONE ELSE UNDERSTANDS THE SUIT KINK 😭😭🙏🙏

everytime i see an iron man edit of the suit i actually think i enter ovulation. it's so hot. i don't know what it is. the face plate. the armored layers. the power. the gadgets. the technology. the tony inside of it. im actually going crazy just thinking about it.

in my head, there's two ways this can go.

you and tony are dating and he slowly acclimates you to the suit. leaving the helmet on the dresser while you guys get dirty. tinkering with pieces on the dinner table while wearing his sluttiest tank top and flexing more often than usual. then he take you out in the suit, flying with you in his arms. bit by bit, the pieces add up and slowly you start liking the suit like you like your boyfriend. thats the moment he started to introduce it into your sex lives.

he saves you in the suit from danger and carries you to safety and youre back in the penthouse or mansion and before he can say anything, youre stripping off your shirt and kissing the edge of his faceplace where his jaw would be and all over his suit like it's his actual body. cue the suit sex

there's a lot of tony specific moments he would have with the suit.

vibrating suit gauntlet. he's tinkering with the suit's hand one day up to his forearm, and he calls you down to the lab. immiedately he jumps you, one arm flesh and warm, and the other full of the hum of technology. clothes start to come off and he starts slow (slower than usual), because he slips his gauntlet hand down your stomach and under the strap of your underwear. It's hot, he makes it hot, muttering how 'you know how many people this thing has killed? the sheer power it has? there's around 23 types of weaponry in this glove alone, 12 in the two fingers stuffing you full right now, getting soaked by your pussy. how bout that?'. just when you're getting light headed from his words and the situation, he squints his eyes and makes a small move that makes the fingers start vibrating. and tony stark, if anything, is efficent. he will make you come so hard you see stars.

i think he definitely has a 'pin-her-down' function in the suit. if he's ever feeling freaky (which is always), he'll invite you down to the workshop for some lab sex or find you wherever u are and playfully engage like some wrestling and halfway through the suit (without him inside) pins down the wrists he previously had in the palm of his hand, and you look back and realize fuck there’s two of them. tony has two free hands. you have none.

(i also think if you’re into it, he would set up some kind of predator/prey game into it, letting you run until the suit tracks you down and pins you until tony comes by to fuck you senseless and then disable the suit to let you go.)

i think the above can also be the pin-her-down-and-fuck-her-brainless setting, so it pins you down and works essentially as a fucking machine. he gets all excited showing you about it, telling it commands like, “flip her over. fuck her slow. slower. now fast like a jack rabbit, but don’t let her come. fuck, yeah, just like that.” (he is most definitely watching from the arm chair, jacking off tothe fact that his technology, his holy grail, is fucking you an inch of your life. no refractory period for the suit. no need for it to have a break. just overstimulation over and over again for you. he’s man spreading, one hand stroking himself and one holding a glass of whiskey. he’s so fucking hot.

another idea. tony makes YOU wear the suit. not the whole thing (but i mean who knows he’s kinda freaky like that), but parts of it. in my head, he starts with the helmet, holding your face still and sliding it on. you get the light up view from inside, but rather than flight speeds or weaponry details on the inside, it’s your heart beat, showing you how much it speeds up as tony sticks his hand up your shirt and massages your skin, slow and sensual to the point u feel like you’re losing your mind. and while he’s going down on you, kissing up and down your neck, right where your jaw is under the helmet, fucking up into you until your eyes roll back, he mumbles “see that little red dot baby?”, and you search your light up display until u see the blinking dot in the corner. “yeah… it’s recording… your own personal film, baby, for when i’m on a mission, and you miss me!” yeah… he has an issue.

(also, i think tony has enough of an ego and a sexual drive that he gets turned on by the fact you’re gasping and whimpering for life inside his tech, and also the fact he’s kind of looking at himself (the faceplate) while he fucks you? this man’s a freak. it probably gets him off to see his own billion dollar gold titanium alloy staring at him as he fucks it senseless)

in the future, maybe with nanotech, this evolves into using the suit as restraints or as handcuffs. imagine with that what u will.

ok last one last one. he’s fixing something in the interface of the suit, and he gets inside just to monitor how the update is working. he gets the brilliant idea that he wants you to get yourself off by straddling the thigh of his suit and humping like his personal little bunny.

I AM ALWAYS HERE FOR INAPPROPRIATE USE OF STARK TECH.

And sometimes fanfiction is, ‘Watch me do a fucking KICK FLIP off this cool sentence!! Also here's some sex'

“And you have an interview in an hour,” Pepper said, as she finished detailing his own schedule to him.

Tony had been only partially listening, deep in some research, but that was enough to catch his attention. He looked at her. “I thought we were done with press interviews,” he said. “There’s no reason for that.”

“Not a press interview,” Pepper corrected. “A job interview. Well, of a sorts, a potential consultant.”

Tony stared at her for a long moment. “I don’t do job interviews,” he said, entirely baffled. “We have an entire department that deals with hires.”

Pepper pursed her lips. “Yes, well, this particular person, a Doctor Stephen Strange, was rather insistent during his conversation with the hiring committee and it got pushed up the chain to me. I told him we weren’t hiring, but he was frustratingly certain that he could be a critical hire for the new medical division. I decided to send him to JARVIS. I assumed JARVIS could talk him in circles until the man gave up. But JARVIS actually ended up setting up an interview.”

What? “JARVIS?” he asked. “There a reason for that?”

“After extensive conversation with Doctor Strange,” JARVIS started. “I came to the conclusion that he would be an excellent consulting partner for the new medical division. Unfortunately, his vision somewhat exceeded the hiring manager’s. I thought it best to bridge the gap. I assure you, sir, that you will not regret it.”

TW: | P IN V | Tony being an asshole |

A/N: @starfishstark had such a valid question regarding this and here's my highly detailed answer:

Word count: 1.3K

“E.T.?” Clint asked, sounding absolutely flabbergasted. “You want to watch E.T.?”

Stephen arched an eyebrow, giving Clint his most judgmental look. “Are you dismissing one of the most beloved movies of the 80s, perhaps, some might say one of the most beloved films in all of cinematic history.”

Clint made a face. “No. I’m just surprised you would choose it. I’d expect something like that from Parker.”

Peter just shrugged at that. “I still have the rest of the Star Wars movies to go through. The Last Jedi is next.”

Several people groaned at that. Star Wars was a controversial movie among the Avengers, the sequel trilogy even more so. Stephen had no real opinion on it. It wasn’t any better or worse than the other movies some of the Avengers chose. Some of the Avengers liked sports films. He resisted shuddering at just the thought. “It’s a good movie,” Stephen said. “Like I said, a beloved classic.”

“What’s a beloved classic?” Rhodey asked as he and Tony walked into the room, cutting off whatever they’d been discussing.

“E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial,” Stephen said. “I chose it for movie night.”

Tony’s head came up slightly and his eyes lit up, a small smile tugging at his lips. “You like E.T.?”

“It was a much loved movie in my house growing up,” Stephen offered. Which was true, but not at all the reason he was choosing it. “Now, are we going to actually have movie night?” It was enough to get everyone moving. Popcorn was gathered, candy distributed, seats chosen, and lights dimmed before FRIDAY launched the movie. 

Tony had taken the spot next to Stephen—which had become more and more normal on the regular movie nights—and he waited until the credits had passed and the movie had started to lean in to Stephen’s space so that he could communicate without drawing attention. “You win movie night,” he said quietly. “Jarvis picked me up for one of my boarding school’s parent days and took me to watch it in theaters.” His smile was soft and warm. “Still one of my favorite ever movies.”

Stephen smiled at him. “I know,” he said. 

That earned him a scrutinizing look.

“I do like the movie,” Stephen said, answering the question he knew Tony was thinking. “I wouldn’t choose a movie I genuinely don’t like.”

“But?” Tony asked, but his smile was bright and a little teasing now.

Stephen shrugged with ease. “Well, I thought it was about time you finally get a movie you actually want, not just a movie you’ll enjoy. You know, you don’t have to give away your choice every time, right?”

It was Tony’s turn to shrug. “It’s just a movie.”

It was far more complicated than that, but movie night wasn’t the right time to get into it. “Well, those might be. But this isn’t just a movie,” Stephen said. 

He saw understanding in Tony’s eyes, though he didn’t respond. All he did was shift just slightly so that their shoulders were pressed together. And if, when Tony reached for popcorn in the bowl they were sharing, their fingers brushed…

Brother Alonzo you rascal get DOWN from there

Stephen: Due to personal reasons I'll be marrying Tony

Tony, looking Stephen up then down: I'm going to allow that.

Thank you for your service 🙏

“—obviously it’s Tony,” Rhodey was saying as Stephen entered the room where the group was gathering for a movie night.

Wong snorted. He’d beaten Stephen here, having cared less about sprucing up a bit before the movie night, and it looked like he’d taken that extra time to find some sort of disagreement to engage in. “I’ll give you that Tony is audacious, but I assure you, Stephen has him beat by miles.”

“What have I beat Tony at?” Stephen asked as he examined the couches and who had set up where and—more importantly—where he’d have the best chances of getting Tony to sit next to him. He’d already bribed Wong to sit next to Rhodey, which took out his biggest competition. Stephen had, of course, stacked his odds by bringing sour gummy worms, which Tony had a slightly unhealthy obsession for.

“Who in the group is the most audacious,” Steve informed him. “And sorry, Stephen, but it’s going to be Tony.”

Stephen arched an eyebrow at that as he chose his couch. “You think Tony is more audacious than I am?” he asked, a little amused. He could understand where that assumption was coming from. Because Tony was… well, Tony was Tony. Maybe it might have even been true—though Stephen suspected he’d always have given Tony a run for his money—but Stephen had had several million timelines to lose any hesitation he might have once had.

“It’s Tony,” Steve said, as though it was explanation enough.

“What’s me?” Tony asked as he strolled in.

Stephen turned toward him, smiling. “The person I’m marrying,” he said.

“What?” came from several directions, the question ranging from please repeat I had to have heard that wrong to utterly baffled you would say something that wild.

Stephen just shrugged, pretending there was nothing odd about the declaration. “Due to personal reasons,” he started, as though clarifying, “I’ll be marrying Tony.”

Tony blinked at him for a moment, before giving Stephen a slow, appreciative once over. “I’ll allow that,” he decided.

“Wait did you just propose to Tony to prove a point?” Rhodey asked, sounding offended on Tony’s behalf. 

As Stephen had known it would—someone would have asked, Rhodey had just gotten there first—that made Tony laugh. “You’re using me to make a point?” he asked. “Is it a good one?”

Stephen shrugged. “They didn’t think I was audacious.”

“So you decided to prove you were audacious by proposing?” Tony asked, grinning.

Natasha snorted. “I don’t think that really counts as a proposal,” she pointed out. “More a declaration.”

Tony moved over and fell onto the cushion next to Stephen. “I love a man who will go to any lengths to prove a point.”

“So you’ll marry me?” Stephen asked.

Tony answered by shifting a little and then reaching out to pull Stephen in for a kiss.

Stephen really hadn’t planned on their first kiss having such an audience, especially when a subpar kiss might mess with Stephen’s chances on getting that wedding. Which meant Stephen didn’t let his audience deter him from making it a very good kiss.

When Tony pulled back, he looked very satisfied at Stephen’s efforts. “Oh, yeah. We're getting married.”

Stephen smiled at him, victory blooming hot in his chest.

In the background, he heard Wong sigh, clearly exasperated with Stephen’s antics. “I told you. He takes audacious to whole new levels.”

The hoodie as a veil. 

Weisman cigarettes

Each of them is haloed by an advertisement sticker. 

No Vacancy sign on the motel. 

Dove sticker over Maria’s head. 

Neon sign with a star symbol also over Maria’s head. 

The crown over the ‘Dave’s City Motel’ sign. “New Manger.”

The sign behind Jose’s elbow likely says ‘Herod.’

The wee little plant growing through the cracks at their feet. 

It’s like a New Testament ‘I Spy.’ I love it!

Ugh.

Maria sitting on a donkey

Shepherd Watches advertisement in the newspaper