Hitchiker's Guide to the Blogosphere

I lowkey hate when programs talk to me in a friendly way. "don't worry, nearly there!" Shut up. It should say "loading 64.3% completed. Do not turn off device" and absolutely nothing else. You arent my friend you are computer. Act like it

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog

unfortunately i dont think its queerbaiting if the creator is just so terminally heterosexual that they never remotely considered the same gender relationship their show is centered around could be read as romantic. it is deeply painful however.

I have never, and will never, use "ofc" to mean "of fucking course". It literally stands for OF Course...

I have a serious question that could be answered through light Googling, when was alcohol firmly condemned in Islam? I ask this because alchemists and scholars in the Islamic Golden Age were really, really, REALLY interesting in distilling alcohol. They were whipping up 85 proof moonshine in the 12th century, was that haram or was it seen as permissible for the sake of scientific exploration or had Islamic law not taken a clarifying stance on alcohol yet? I will probably delete this post but that is what is on my mind right now at 10:16 pm on a Friday night

I LOVE COLLABORATIVE SOTRYTELLING I LOVE CREATING THINGS TOGETHER I LOVE "YES AND"ING WITH OTHERS I LOVE "NO BUT WHAT ABOUT-"S I LOVE HEARIJG MY FRIENDS' IDEAS I LOVE BOUNDING OFF OF THEM I LOVE ART I LOVE STORIES I LOVE ALL THE DIFFERENT PASSIONS AND SKILLS REQUIRED I LOVE ALL THE DIFFERENT MEDIA IT TAKES I LOVE I LOVE I LOVE

Layering my Short Skirt, Long Jacket (CAKE) over my White Tee (CORPSE) and Blue Jeans (Lana Del Ray) Knee Socks (Arctic Monkeys) and Blue Suede Shoes (Elvis) and then putting on my Raspberry Beret (Prince) before I head out to the Bard Olympics where I am disqualified for performance-enhancing power buffs. On my way home I am cast as a sassy but cute side character in an early 2010's Disney Channel original series. I look fresh as hell

I guess that makes you a Sharp Dressed Man (ZZ Top)

*finger guns*

this is annoying as hell yeah, but you can also move the captions, make the text and background transparent, or make it bigger., etc. youtube's caption ui settings are pretty comprehensive, but i feel like most people don't even know they exist. the only problem is I think they're pc/web only? idk i don't use youtube on my phone anymore.

all the “peer pressure is bad” education we give kids is practically useless because all it cares about is telling them that Drugs Are Evil rather than the much more useful lesson of ‘the person who responds to you saying you don’t drink by telling you they’ll find a way to get you to is also going to be shitty about all your other boundaries’.

god forbid you teach kids that their consent should be respected rather than about the inherent immorality of all the sinful actions of their peers

i agree so much about making your blorbos pathetic but i do fear that many take this to mean 'make them more traditionally feminine/submissive' which genuinely hurts my soul. make your blorbos pathetic in interesting character-oriented ways. understand their neuroses and turn the dials up to eleven. juxtapose the parts of life they handle extremely well with the parts of their lives that make them eat shit. make them angry. make them cold. make them pave their own way to hell while building walls preventing them from seeing any other way. please i'm begging you no more pathetic as an euphemism for bottoming im gonna mclose it.