bringing this back because we all need to see it again

Oh so when WILL tells him to do a spin he’s suddenly a giggly prima ballerina pirouetting on ice but when EA admins ask in order to promote THE LITERAL GAME THAT HE’S ON THE FRONT COVER OF, Mack looks like he’s being tortured by that medieval device from the princess bride

what is mack to me? good question. he’s an undercooked piece of high protein dough. he’s the righteous irritation you feel when someone asks a stupid question. he’s got the wet smooth flesh of a shark. he was born when rick c made a wish upon a shooting star. the squishy body of a worm. he never bites the hand that feeds him but he will growl and thrash threateningly. he’s probably got dada and mama issues but will never address that in any meaningful way. hes my gay cat. he’ll do anything to get people to like him except for things he doesn’t want to do :/ he’s jesus if jesus were reborn a third time. the second time is obviously mcdavid. he’s got a billion mental disorders all related to hockey but he’s pretty well adjusted all things considering. he’s like if an only child had siblings. he’s my ouppy baby wuppy. my pibble even. if he wanted 20m he should’ve got it. he’s a chud who’s life only just began when he met his equally chud soulmate. he’s my ice cold fridge who lies about being filled with chocolate milk and it’s actually just flavourless protein shakes, with maybe one sweet strawberry gently placed there by his Will. he’s patient zero for can only ever be himself disease. and it’s terminal. he’s the cool rock u find at the beach but have to leave behind. hes a stick of sharp spearmint gum. i think he’d pull apart like a cheese string. hes a neurotic horse that kills people. he’s my cutes. he’s like if a plum was a person. and he’s ginger

in another life sam dickinson is a line cook

hockey mutuals, what would your number be if you played professionally?

and why