An Effort Was Made

Genuinely stupid how you can be really excited about something and want to do/watch/read/try it and just like. Put it off. For no discernable goddamn reason.

I want to make you feel like a humid Southern night, where the Spanish moss drips from the trees like lace, and honeysuckle buds perfume the air. Sticky, glistening skin. Sultry and forever.

and fifty dozen mosquitos are sucking your body dry and cicadas scream so loud you can never sleep and watch where your honeysuckle ass steps or you’ll plant your foot on a pissed off copperhead

One person is from the south. One person isn’t. Guess which.

“I want to make you feel like a humid Southern night” is a threat

Lakes and graveyards are very similar in that if you detonate a large explosion inside either one a lot of dead bodies come to the surface.

Hi, um. How is being the necromancer's apprentice going for you OP?

You want I should raise dead, I raise dead, no problem. You want banish dead, no problem, have plenty more nitro. I do this, ten minutes.

CHUNKY STEW IS NOT BANISHMENT.

Chunky stew, very bad necromancer. We banish, no problem, no chunks. I give you number of cousin Yvgeny. Will power wash house, very good prices. No other necromancer does this for you.

Is....is...is Yvgeny....alive?

Eh. Is alive enough.