the coolest of turtle pies

today at work a man brought a pug in on a leash and that pug was so excited and happy to see me it was as if we were old friends who havent been in contact in 7 years i felt so loved in that moment

today a bassett hound came in and wagged her tail so furiously all of her loose skin started to jiggle and she was so pumped to see me i want more dogs to come into my store they make my life whole and worthwhile

I’m so glad this came back cause a golden retriever named Milly came in today who put her paws on my register counter and wanted to say hi to me and I loved her so much and I scratched her ears and she gave me that classic dopey dog smile 

yesterday a girl came in with her boyfriend and in her hand was a tiny tan colored dog that she told me was a chihuahua/pekingese mix and he had a severe underbite and one little canine tooth was poking out and his ears were like bent at the tips and i immediately commented on how amazing he was and she goes omg thanks do you wanna pet him and i was like there is literally nothing more i want to do while being on the clock right now than to pet this incredible tiny dog and he was so sweet and licked my hand and his name was spike 

yesterday these people came in and put a blanket into one of our shopping baskets and it started to move and i was like omg whats in there and they set it down on the counter and the blanket kept moving and the suspense was so good like is it gonna be a cat is it gonna be a ferret maybe a lizard and then the smallest chihuahua ive ever seen in my life popped her little head out and licked my finger and i died 

A baby german shepherd named Jonathan came in tonight and since i was on the sales floor and not behind a counter i say to the owner omg can i pet this angel and they were like yeah of course and i crouched down and Jonathan ran into my arms and almost tripped over his puppy feet it was 12/10

TODAY a german shepherd named london grabbed one of our lanterns off the shelf and was carrying it around and the owner was like, “london no, we’re not getting that” and gave him the merchandise she was buying instead and he carried it to me and dropped it on the counter at my register and i could have cried 

me falling in love

Reblog this if Guzma is your boy

Quality. Content.

reblog to save a writer 

excellent resource

you know when youre playing pokeman and you walk up to a pokemon to talk to it and you already know its only gonna say like… gryaaah… but u do it anyway

things that still freak me out: those sinks americans have in their kitchens that you can destroy stuff with

hOLY SHIT WHAT IF U TRY AND CLEAN THE PLUG AND TURN IT ON IM SO SCARED

Okay it took me for-fucking-ever to figure out wtf you guys are talking about are you talking about garbage disposals? Like down the drain??

with the spinny knives

No knives, just a dull piece of spinny metal.

you realise it takes the same amount of force to cut thru a carrot as a finger

i dont know what you do over there but we usually don’t stick our hands in our sink drains

who’s going around fisting sinks anyway

dont sinkshame

Child. Wean means child.

Okay, so you put your CHILD in a sink and stuff them down the drain? That’s… that’s definitely worse.

This post is an experiance.

This one is already vibrating at he desired frequency, but if it starts to vibrate at a higher frequency I lock it back in the cold box.

There’s just an old guy pacing back and forth in this goodwill farting and it scares me because it’s like seeing myself in 60 years

Me, in tears: whatever tho I guess it doesn’t matter haha