Hello haha and how are you?

…………….y’all ready for Pesach?

after being informed it is not:

“At that point you should just go outside and build a kosher hut” 

also

For you and the rest of the peanut gallery, the joke here is honestly…. just kind of something you had to have lived through to really get? 

So you may be aware that many Jews (in particular, religious Jews, but some secular Jews also) keep the dietary laws known as kashrut. The really, really basic meaning of this is that we only eat meat from certain animals that has been slaughtered in a certain way, and we separate meat and dairy. How people observe this in practice varies a lot. If you follow the strict traditional rules, you have separate dishes, cookware, and ideally appliances for meat and dairy. However, there is a whole continuum of practices that are more lenient. 

In any event, for eight days a year, during the holiday of Pesach (Passover), those who keep kosher year-round (and even some who don’t) observe unique kashrut rules that involve removing all of the chametz (leavened grain products) from the household and one’s diet. If one holds by traditional observance, ridding one’s life of chametz in preparation for Pesach is a BIG deal, and includes a truly insane amount of cleaning and then the covering of surfaces that cannot be kashered. 

People literally clean for a month to be fully prepared. In fact, you know what? I’m just gonna drop this here: https://www.chabad.org/holidays/passover/pesach_cdo/aid/664473/jewish/Printable-Passover-Guide-2019.htm. 

[Screenshot ID: tags from @kindigo

The story would like, end there, like "haha he fucked her dad thats wild!!" but like, the dad was married. So he cheated on his wife with his daughter's ex. his petty homewrecking caused his ex's parents' divorce. But they ended up having a really strong connection. And as of 3 years ago i noticed on facebook that the dude and ex's dad got married, so he became her step-dad.

CAN I SMOOCH THE GOAT OR NOT TOBY

I played the character Llew (from Welsh mythology) at the Victorian fae gathering LARP Harvest Dance last October. Llew’s title was “The Eagle” and their character description was very much “entitled golden boy” so I wanted to go full golden eagle with my costume. I got so much help from my mom and @wingedyera​ with the creation of the costume and we managed to finish it in the very tight time-span of three weeks.

As for the LARP itself, I’ve run a political campaign, got my heart ripped out, and played a coup. In that order! I’ve had a great time being the antagonist <3

Harvest Dance is a LARP by Poltergeist LARP

The pictures were taken by Tsesi McKheck

Original costume design under the cut:

The goth sighs, points across the road and says, “Witch is over there. He doesn’t do love potions because consent but he might be able to make you prettier, although 90% of the time it turns out the spell didn’t do anything but make you more confident.”

The maiden blushes and sheepishly explains that she knows he’s the witch, she just talked to him and he sent her over here.

The individual The Legend of Vox Machina character posters!

Váde sátana, invéntor et magíster ómnis falláciae, hóstis humánae salútis. Da lócum Chrísto, in quo níhil invenísti de opéribus tuis; da lócum Ecclésia Uni, Sanctae, Cathólicae, et Apostólicae, quam Chrístus ípse acquisívit sánguine suo. Humiliáre sub poténti mánu Dei; contremísce et éffuge, invocáto a nóbis sáncto et terríbili nominé Jésu, quem ínferi trémunt, cui Virtútes caelórum et Potestátes et Dominatiónes subjéctae sunt, quem Chérubim et Séraphim indeféssis vócibus láudant, dicéntes: Sánctus, Sanctus, Sanctus Dóminus Déus Sábaoth.

When the younger twin grows up and wants to get married, the lindworm returns and insists that he, as the elder prince, must be married first. When a massive horrible snake with arms lays down the law like that there isn’t really any room for disagreement, but it turns out to be awfully hard to find a bride willing to marry him. The king and queen search far and wide for a woman who will take a husband who is 50 feet long, doesn’t have legs, and may or may not eat his would-be wives when they are appalled by him, but eventually they find a local shepherd’s daughter who is either coerced, a monsterfucker, or just very open-minded and agrees to marry the lindworm.

Depending on the version, the bride either seeks out the advice of a witch or comes up with the idea all by herself, and goes to the bedchamber on her wedding night dressed in many layers of dresses. Her big horrible snake with arms husband is waiting for her and bids her to disrobe, but she asks him to shed a skin as well. Her sexy Russian nesting doll cosplay has so many layers that by the time she is naked, he has shed all of his skins and is 1.) either a sexy naked human dude underneath or 2.) is this meaty blob of helpless worm meat that must be whipped and bathed in chemicals before he transforms into a sexy naked human dude. Either way, they presumably live happily ever after and the younger prince can finally get married.

This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.

As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: “fuck him on the floor.” The use of “chintz” is indeed great word choice.

Because I’m insane, decided to scan the poem:

Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.

There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of “keep it real” juxtaposed with “chintz.” It causes me to interpret the “chintz” more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of “fuck,” which is a contrast with “chintz” but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where “chintz” is flimsy and inanimate.

And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is “filled with chintz”—something that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with “keep it real.”

The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wife’s marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something “real.” That’s a story, and it’s just two lines.

This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, y’all. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.