Contented Reader

Reminder that this weekend downtown New Orleans will simultaneously host GalaxyCon, Naughty N'awlins, the American School Counselor Association Annual Conference, and the Running of the Bulls. That's roughly 30,000 superheroes, 3,000 swingers, 5,000 counselors, and hundreds of people voluntarily being chased by roller derby skaters dressed as bulls.

The overlap of those worlds is where the real magic happens. It is entirely possible that somewhere in the French Quarter, Batman and Catwoman will successfully recruit Ms. Jones from some place called Crabapple Middle School to be their third, moments before all three instinctively scatter as a roller derby skater dressed as a bull rounds the corner.

John Scalzi: [carrying tray of burritos] who wants delicious burritos?! Scalzi: you've got your choice Scalzi: peanut butter and mayo Scalzi: apple sauce and vodka sauce Scalzi: chicken adobo and asbestos Scalzi: beef stroganoff and gravel

King: ha ha! these joke flavors are hilarious! King: leave it to acclaimed humorist john scalzi to come up with a funny new twist on an old favorite! Scalzi: joke flavors?!? Scalzi: i mean Scalzi: yeah… joke flavors… Scalzi: yeah that's the ticket Scalzi: i am quite the humorist aren't i?

Poe: actually steve, i'd say john is more of a sci fi guy than a humorist Scalzi: i'm glad you brought that up, edgar Scalzi: because that's a misconception that I've been meaning to fix for a while

Scalzi: in fact, i actually am a humorist Scalzi: i used to write for a little thing called uncle john's bathroom reader Dean Koontz: OMG are you uncle john? Scalzi: oh no no i was just one of many writers Scalzi: then again Scalzi: [muttering to self] why SHOULDN'T i be uncle john?

Scalzi: you might not have noticed this, but there's actually quite a bit of humor in my writing Barker: you don't say Poe: clive Scalzi: no really! Scalzi: take redshirts Barker: explain Scalzi: i mean, the title alone… ho ho ho! Barker: Barker: i'm waiting

Scalzi: ok so see, in star trek- Barker: OH it's a star trek reference? Barker: sorry i don't speak nerd Poe: clive stop it, you know good and well what it's a reference to

Scalzi: you know, when they write the definitive history of sci fi Scalzi: i'd like to be remembered as the guy who made humor marketable again Koontz: gosh! what about terry Pratchett? Terry Pratchett: i'd like to be remembered as the guy who made soup marketable again Pratchett: [drinking soup] mm! lecker!

Scalzi: well, terry Pratchett is technically fantasy Koontz: what about douglas adams? Scalzi: ok sure, yeah there's douglas adams Scalzi: that's fair Scalzi: i can't compete with that

Scalzi: but i meant besides douglas adams Koontz: what about Robert asprin? Scalzi: oh COME ONE NOW Scalzi: you can't be serious! Scalzi: I'm twice as funny as that guy!

King: i don't know, john, Robert asprin is pretty funny Scalzi: i'm about a million times funnier!! Scalzi: here i'll prove it Scalzi: pull my finger!!

She peered into my soul, this bastion of decay now inhabiting the corpse of my once halcyonic friend, and with a baleful, orange grin that severed the halflight...