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@conservativepepe
“the CIA is releasing tens of thousands of files and videos from bin laden’s compound today, except his DVDs of ‘home on the range’ and ‘ice age: dawn of the dinosaurs’ and his copy of final fantasy vii, because those are copyrighted” is not a sentence i ever thought i would type, but 2017 continues to be full of surprises
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I hope everybody can enjoy the typical day at the Russian parliament
it looks like a classroom where the teacher’s left for a few minutes
Being in a mid-2000s High School Health class and they show you this on DVD
Didn’t that turn out to be a load of bullshit that no-one can replicate the results of to this day?
Yep! His results were faked, and the entire film was basically anti-McDonald’s scaremongering, “poor people are stupid” and “fat people don’t get any sex”. It’s also thanks to this asshat that McDonald’s can’t advertise fuckin’ Happy Meals anymore and had to get rid of all their characters and their super size option, particularly because he claimed without evidence that they have a kid-fattening agenda, don’t list their nutritional info anywhere and have a mission statement from their CEO to make people sick and unhealthy from eating there for every single meal. On top of this, he actually tried to claim in a bonus experiment that McDonald’s fries aren’t actually fries because they don’t rot when left in an airtight container for a long time but all the burgers do–which is thanks to the oil and salt they’re loaded with, not some big conspiracy where the fries, which are processed and supplied by McCain in Canada, aren’t actually goddamn chopped potatoes–and equated the containers to a human stomach. Yes, cause the human stomach is an airtight container that food sits in for months, right? Spurlock, did veganism turn your brain completely off or something? Hell, the fucker even tried to claim credit for McDonald’s having salads, falsely stating at one point they didn’t have any before he “exposed” their EVIL PLANS.
Yeah, that’s another thing to remember, he’s apparently a vegan. He didn’t let anyone know he’s one, of course, he only mentioned his girlfriend is one, because it would’ve made his vomiting after a single McDonald’s meal, something literally no one else on the planet has done, seem less ZOMG SCARY.
Want a good film of this nature? Try Tom Naughton’s Fat Head instead, a film where a guy actively proves Spurlock wrong by actually losing weight while eating nothing but fast food for a month. He accomplishes this by NOT fucking gorging himself on the unhealthiest food choices, eating more meals than he claims or cutting out his usual physical activity. While he’s at it, he also exposes exactly why Spurlock is a total fraud. In the process, he gets actual doctors and nutrition experts to help him explain why everything you know about healthy eating is probably wrong or half-true, inform us about good and bad cholesterol, expose the real reasons behind the so-called “obesity epidemic” and point out why fat =/= unhealthy by default. Yeah, Naughton encourages viewers to try the paleo diet in the end, but at least it comes off more as a suggestion and doesn’t demonize anyone in the process.
Wow, everything I know is now a lie.
I like how everybody is paired off haha
#this looks more like an awkward sixth grade slow dance than it does hockey
I FINALLY FOUND OUT WHY THIS HAPPENS. You see this all the time when there’s a fight or a scrum and suddenly everyone pairs up with a member of the opposite team and they just sort of …hold each other.
Someone on reddit asked about it. And it turns out there’s a logical-ish reason:
all of the other players pair off with their man to prevent anyone else entering into the fight … so it’s a form of self policing.
[…] The players basically want to prevent 2 on 1, etc. fights and by finding a “hugging” partner so there’s no ganging up on one guy, even on accident. They do it because it’s fair. And it’s kind of cute sometimes.
so now we know! it’s fair…and cute.
Aw best part is no ones left out at this dance
#hockey hugs #more or less #:)))))))) #where’s that one of Karlsson and Mike Green #that one’s priceless
=DDD
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there’s no coming back from this one
“Don’t tell your family about your relationship. You will forgive them. Your family won’t.”
woman: i miss you like the deserts miss the rain
man: oh that's so sweet, i--
woman: i've adapted to existence without you, buried everything we made together, and prolonged exposure to you would be disastrous.
me thinking about shakespeare normally: mercutio was gay
me thinking about shakespeare at 3 am: romeo and juliet is underrated as a story. why? because everyone treats it as a love story when they should be treating it as a commentary on how children are too afraid to come to their parents with a problem or even voice their opinions on things without fear of facing repercussions. juliet didn’t want to marry paris, some old guy she didn’t know. so OF COURSE she was going to choose romeo, some hot young thing that talked nice and looked nicer and probably made her feel special. she had had at least a conversation with the guy. but no. she can’t tell her father that she doesn’t want to marry and would rather try to get to know that nice montague boy that was chatting her up while crashing her party. but of course she can’t. both of because societal expectations and because of the whole blood feud. and then there’s romeo. we all call him an emo fuck but the fact remains that it is highly hinted that he had depression and while finding someone “to love” doesn’t automatically fix that in a person, him “loving” juliet definitely did seem to improve his mood while his parents just brushed him off. and in the end of the story, they’d both rather kill themselves then tell their parents that they’re going to be disappointing them by telling them who they “love” and that’s just fucked up. these were teenagers. and while this may have not been old billy shakes’ original message, it stands that this interpretation could benefit being taught to a lot of students and even some parents.
me thinking about shakespeare at 3:30 am: also know what was fucked up? mercutio and tybalt died without even knowing what they were dying for. they literally say in the beginning of the play that no one remembers why the blood feud started. and mercutio wasn’t even an capulet or montague. this wasn’t his fight. but he died anyways, under romeo’s arm, by tybalt’s hand. sure, they were fighting because tybalt was pissed about romeo seeing juliet and shit, but mercutio didn’t know that. he thought tybalt was just starting shit just to start shit. he didn’t know what he was dying for. “a plague on both your houses” indeed. and then tybalt. fucking firey tybalt. like i said before, no one knows why the blood feud started. he essentially just died because his family hates another guy’s family probably over something like the 13th century equivalent of a sports rivalry. that’s so fucked up. while i don’t remember what their exact ages were, i’m pretty sure they were teenagers too. what the fuck.
me thinking about shakespeare at 3:35 am: and then benevolio. oh god benevolio. what even happened to him??? first, he watches this guy who was always a jackass to him but he’s probably known all his life get killed, then his (boy)friend dies all because of something his cousin does, and then his cousin is exiled/flees before he’s exiled. he’s then all alone for like the rest of the play, until he assuredly walks into the mausoleum at the end of the play and sees his cousin dead on the ground with some girl he’s maybe seen twice in his life dead on top of him. what the fuck. what the actual fuck. poor benevolio just lost his two best friends and now he’s all alone. and you know they never even say if he’s in the play for the rest of the thing. you just assume he is. for all we know he could’ve skipped town, or killed himself as well, or died in a duel, or anything. i always headcanoned him as the youngest of the group. and like, that just makes it worse. poor benevolio, the guy that was left all alone at the end of the play with all his friends and acquaintances dead. “for never was a story of more woe / than that of juliet and her romeo”???? bullshit. for never was a story of more woe than that of our poor fucking benevolio.
me thinking about Shakespeare at anytime: There is a character in Midsummer Night’s Dream called Bottom
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hang in there buddy.
He?
What’s the word for horny but not in a sexual way like I’m horny for Halloween but I don’t wanna fuck a pumpkin you feel
do u mean excited
But now I’m wondering how all these facial recognition algorithms we’re coming up with now are going to take to the Bright New Transhumanist Future
Like, okay, we know Google can recognise dogs. But what about stranger things? Is anyone training these things on lizards?
Imagine basilisks specifically designed to crash these algorithms: abstract-blocks-of-black-and-white-for-heads that, like the QR codes of old, carry a hidden message in their patterning, only it’s a payload, a virus that shreds the system of anyone who tries to capture it on camera, the natural evolution of anti-face-detection camouflage. Imagine things that don’t even have faces, that don’t have an equivalent and easily-cataloguable part; people who deliberately wear mass-produced, identical android bodies, the Guy Fawkes masks of the future.
It’s a thing! Turns out, people would rather not look stupid than not be caught by facial recognition.
Somehow they look exactly like you would expect cyperpunk protagonists trying to avoid detection by facial recognition software to look.
hillarious dystopian future fashion finally makes sense. or, all scene kids will survive
Cats On Snapchat.
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danny fenton: -wears a shirt to the water park -accidentally uses the womens restroom -“i would tell you to use the mens room but i dont think you qualify” -chest occasionally bulges in his ghost suit -is a trans boy
reblog this make cis people mad that im “ruining their childhood”
stable clone of him was a younger girl named danni
the series is literally about him keeping his identity a secret from his parents, believing that if they found out they’d stop loving him as their child and even kill him.
said identity is only known by his closest friends and others in the “community”.
After his college-age sister accidentally walks in on him altering his appearance and thereby learns his identity, she becomes clumsily obsessed with protecting him and being an ally.
Sam was able to disguise herself as him effortlessly.
Oh wow this…totally makes sense
(Facebook: It’s Okay To Be Childfree)
“Congratulations - you just made a conversation about salad and hamburgers about the struggle of childbirth.”
TBH Parentfriends, I’m probably tired of looking at pictures of your kid every other day, so I just hid you from my Newsfeed, because what’s important to you isn’t all that important to me. Sorry, not sorry, no one’s feelings got hurt.
But if you start mommyjacking my posts, I will 100% make you cry into your keyboard.
#how unsatisfied are these people with parenthood that they have to validate themselves like this
