learning to speak the love languages

growgrl

if your partner’s love language is words of affirmation

try:

leaving encouraging notes

creating a playlist of songs that remind you of them

sharing sentiments for your partner’s successes and struggles

complimenting them

words of appreciation

avoid:

assuming that they know how loved they are

assuming that they know you are proud of them

emotionally harsh words

not recognizing or appreciating their efforts

if your partner’s love language is physical touch

try: 

offering massages

initiating intimacy

making hugs a habit

non-sexual touch that reminds them of your presence

putting your arm around them or embracing them

avoid:

long periods without intimacy

coldly giving affection

waiting for your partner to express their desire for physical affection

if your partner’s love language is receiving gifts

try:

thoughtfulness in gift giving

souvenirs when you travel without them

gifts that symbolize moments, experiences, or feelings

small reminders or tokens when they don’t feel their best

being intentional on holidays, especially their birthday

avoid:

forgetting special occasions

materialism, gifts that are not about the cost

giving gifts without love or out of “duty”

if your partner’s love language is quality time

try: 

being mentally present when you are with them

making plans to explore new places

uninterrupted time (ex: putting away your phone)

creating small moments to connect

quality and deep conversation

avoid:

being distracted when you are with them

viewing your partner as needy

complaining about time spent together

preparing for other engagements when you’re together

if your partner’s love language is acts of service

try:

showing, rather than telling

following through with what you say you will do

assisting with stressful or time-consuming tasks

looking for small ways to help them (ex: cooking for them, running a bath, paying for gas)

being spontaneous (ex: surprising them at work with flowers)

avoid:

ignoring requests for help

not following through

being closed-minded, like feeding into gender-based stereotypes when it comes to tasks

“The United States Government is offering you a piece of land of your own.”

“We have our own land.”

“No, it’s not yours. It’s the US Government’s.”