Please take your time

fuuuck accidentally mixed up dowsing rods and sounding rods and now my pepeneus can detect freshwater springs

I absolutely adore dogs but I think dog haters are (usually) more justified than cat haters wrt their reasoning

The water fountain when you’re thirsty af is definitely a top 5 place to publicly debase yourself

queer discourse final boss

Now, your resume says you spent seven years as a “sex wizard”

Tumblr Code.

This is an absolute tumblr relic. I feel like an archaeologist right now. This is incredible that this is on my dash.

date of origin: 2nd of july, 2012.

Bro what it’s the second of July 2020. Happy 8th anniversary of this classic tumblr post!!!!

Happy Birthday Tumblr Code!

She was trying to look behind the counter where we keep Gold Jewelry and Gucci Purses for pokemon cards

it was so bad when that initial wave of Pokemon card collector market slop hit, I had to see entire TCG sections in kids aisles have to be removed and sent into the front register area in a locked box next to baby formula, like it was so fucking bad they moved into the police propaganda lock box shit

not now kitten, the walls are closing in on daddy

i enter the shower. hours pass. i emerge from the shower, having mixed all of my soaps and scrubs and lotions and conditioners and shampoos and body washes together in the tub in precise alchemical quantities. i smell like 314 different herbs and spices. my hair will not need washing for the next 500 days. my skin has developed protective chitinous scales. i step out of the tub and immediately slip and fall on a stray puddle of mane 'n tail and sprain my pussy

WARNING do NOT start reading books and comics or watching movies or looking at art!!! you will start wanting to create art yourself. or god forbid. writing.

puts my uncomfortably wet hand on your shoulder. see here, gay boy- can i call you gay boy?