Please take your time

made me laugh thinking abt if you do porn your boss could walk by and be like “fuckin hard or hardly fuckin?” and that might be pretty funny. well im alone there now. in our “special place”. waiting for you.

If you stay up late to hang out with friends I don’t think you should have to be tired in the morning. I think it should be a freebie

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

@the-august-one us

im so sick of unnecessary dinner scenes in movies 😡 every fucking movie they just want to titillate you with some food because they think you’re a dumb animal who just wants to see mashed potatoes bouncing. if its an IMPORTANT dinner scene where they explain lore then whatever i understand. but they shove useless meals into every movie these days and its disgusting

going on a guilt trip do yall want anything

if you really cared about me you wouldn't have to ask

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore

if i dont respond to a message from you i can basically guarantee its not because i dislike you. im just getting attacked by imps and shit all the time genuinely.

Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore

"why do you still bring up charlie kirk" because it's funny. his death is genuinely a running joke to me. you could say it's the greatest contribution he has made to society