The Random Blonde

Listen I don't get to decide when the drunk elf that is my executive actually does the functioning but when he does we have a SMALL WINDOW OF TIME before he finds the schnapps again and we're done

yes this exactly

phrase added to permanent vocabulary

That's a clever, useful metaphore. Thanks!

The fact that the beheading was at the order of a superior, and the solution was to create some sort of monster of disobediance to the letter of the law instead of just lying and saving them adds a certain mythological resonance.

I can't stop laughing

my dad’s best friend who transitioned after being in a car wreck with a moose posted transition pictures and she’s looking amazing

Waitlike. Are these just two facts about her or did the moose somehow crack her egg along with her car.

The hospital denied my financial aid request after a month of radio silence. My husband is still out of work for the foreseeable future. Please help.

Rat detected. Make him jiggle.

Holy shit I assume everyone is doing an up and down jiggle and maybe a side to side jiggle but if you jiggle your phone forward and backwards he jiggles in and out, too

Brother I am jiggling this rat all three ways, up and down jiggle, left and right jiggle, backwards and forwards jiggle. I love this shit.

That's not a Rat??? That's a Hamster or a Guinea pig???

reblog to tell a 14 year old that these are the very, very hard years and they're not wrong to feel the way they do.

I had a fifteen minute long crying session yesternight over the fact that all I was 10 years ago, at the ripe old age of 14, is lost and lonely, and now, at 24, I am neither and that filled me with so much gratitude