Lil Petey Stan

eating ice cream from a cone feels deeply humiliating. oh yeah let me just lick tiny bits off while it melts onto the floor and makes a sticky mess of my hands and face. and I have to finish all of it in one sitting because theres no way to store it without making a sticky mess of your entire fridge

microwave popcorn is such a beautiful technology. captures the full range of sensory and emotional experiences. there's even a part where it gets loud and scary. the 1812 overture of cheap snacks

Receiving a Werther’s Derivative from my poser grandma

this sculpture is from 2011 by artist sara swink

cats have been bothering humans since at least 2011

imagine there plowing snow on christmas day with big bulldozers but the snow is rolling up into perfect bales of snow and all the little bulldozers show there little rolls to the teacher

if girls can frot then boys can scissor

Now I’m feeling so fly like a G6

im gonna need to get real. and also a clue. and also a grip