I was accidentally 15 one time and basically there’s Problems forever because of this
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@concerned-about-crows
I was accidentally 15 one time and basically there’s Problems forever because of this

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Read! Anything! As often as you can! You owe it to yourself! The only person you 100% guaranteed have to spend the rest of your life with is you
You deserve to enjoy fiction. Really enjoy it. Because you actually experienced it.
You deserve to understand the way the thing you like or need works. You deserve to have your curiosity encouraged and experience the age old human satisfaction of finding the solution/answers.
You deserve happiness and literacy is both good for your happiness and your safety/ability to independently think. Understanding this beautiful world in any depth is an immensely satisfying pleasure you are being robbed of. This is your world too. Go experience it and read about it.
“Lighten Up” by Ronald Wimberly
Beautifuly written- and drawn.
Jesus Christ just say you hate innocent people
No idea what prompted this, but sure, why not. I hate innocent people.
local mob boss, puffing on a cigarette angrily:
goon:
Batman, tied to a chair six feet away:
mob boss: did ya have to tie him to the chair with his legs spread open like that?

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I don't disagree with the observation that a lot of folks in tabletop roleplaying spaces don't believe that game design is real (i.e., in the sense that they believe any GM should be able to achieve any experience of play using any system, and refuse to recognise that rules are opinionated about what sort of games they want to produce), but I feel like putting that at the forefront is confusing the symptom for the disease. A lot of folks in tabletop roleplaying spaces don't believe game design is real because they don't believe that games are real.
I've talked in the past about how Hasbro's efforts to deceptively market Dungeons & Dragons as universal entry-level game have fostered a culture of play in which any appearance that D&D isn't a universal entry-level game is regarded as evidence that you have a "bad GM", and how, in order to avoid being a "bad GM", it's necessary to treat it as a normal part of the GM's responsibilities to constantly monitor the outputs of the rules and quickly paper over any gaps between the game the rules want to produce and the game the group wants to play, like a cartoon train conductor frantically constructing the very tracks along which the train they're conducting is riding.
The trouble is that most players aren't stupid, and readily see through the act. They (correctly!) observe that the particulars of the rules don't actually seem to matter all that much, because most of the desired experience of play is the product of the GM's constant interventions, rather than the product of interpreting the outputs of the rules – but instead of identifying this as a problem, they conclude (again, quite reasonably, as they've probably never seen it done differently) that this is what tabletop roleplaying is. The GM merely pretends to be moderating a game; in truth, they're a pantomime-leader whose job is to maintain the illusion that we're playing a game with rules, when in fact what we're really doing is guided improv theatre.
And of course there's nothing wrong with guided improv theatre – it's a fine pastime, and one I've enjoyed myself on many occasions. However, it does put folks who really do want to play a game in a bind, because now there's this insurmountable communication barrier. You can say "I want to play a game, and these are the rules of that game", and receive what seems to be enthusiastic agreement with that premise; however, a significant portion of the people expressing that agreement think they're participating in a bit of kayfabe, like very dedicated professional wrestlers who stay in character even outside the ring.
Critically, nobody is necessarily acting in bad faith in this equation. The folks who don't bother to learn the rules because they think games aren't real mostly aren't fucking with you on purpose; they honestly thought they were yes-anding your improv prompt by pretending to care about the mechanics of play, and when they discover that you really do expect them to do all that fiddly dice math, from their perspective it genuinely looks like you were the one misleading them. It's just a fucked up culture of play garbling all the signals in both directions.
(Note that, while I've identified Hasbro's deceptive marketing as the ultimate source of this culture of play, indie RPGs are hardly innocent of perpetuating it. You only need cast a critical eye on the "Rule Zero" sections of many popular indie games to notice that their authors are all in on the idea that games aren't real!)
#ohhhh this is really good analysis #also i think large scale super professional actual play podcasts n shit are a big part of this #cuz imo that was a Lot of peoples main engagement with ttrpgs back in the day (about a decade ago) #and a lot of people thats still their Main TTRPG Experience #and like. those tend to be even less Game Like than the average dnd campaign #like a lot of that shit is in fact. scripted. and made to be more cinematic for the audience etc (via @st4rshiptr00per)
Yeah, big name "actual play" podcasts that pretend they're not scripted and workshopped to hell are a big contributing factor, though I wouldn't classify them as distinct from Hasbro's marketing apparatus so much as one of the most visible arms of that apparatus. The fact that Hasbro isn't paying them directly doesn't mean they aren't serving the brand.
(The weird part is that I get the impression that some of them don't even know it. Sometimes it seems like Brennan Lee Mulligan genuinely doesn't realise that best practices for running a game of Dungeons & Dragons as a kind of performance art for a paying audience are very different from best practices for running a game of Dungeons & Dragons for your three buddies in the GM's dining room.)
@hayeseveryone replied:
Maaaaaan. So I'm DMing two DnD 5e games at the moment. One of them is a high level combat focused megadungeon with very experienced players, while the other is more open and has more RP with a mix of experienced and new players. I always feel way more drained after a session running the latter game than the former. And I think you really helped me see why. I'm DEFINITELY having to do a ton of track-laying while running that game, because it's such an unfocused game. I feel way more like I have to be an entertainer who's always the one responsible for my players' fun, rather than expecting them to make their own fun using the rules of the game, like the players in my other group do.
Quite so – that's the central paradox of the rules-heavy-versus-rules-light debate: provided that the game the rules want to produce agrees with the game the group wants to play, a rules-heavy game may actually be less demanding to run than a rules-light one. A rigorous framework of play can be a very effective means of distributing the workload of making the game happen; if you play your cards right, the players won't even notice they're taking a load off the GM's shoulders by making their own rulings, because to them it just feels like drawing the obvious conclusions.
I feel I should also emphasise something that was only lightly touched on above: that this disconnect isn't just an issue on the player side. Many first-time GMs also trip over the whole "D&D is a universal entry-level game, therefore its rules can produce any desired experience of play, therefore you're a Bad GM if this ever appears not to be the case" complex and quite unwittingly end up in a position where they thought they'd be moderating a game, but what they're actually doing is leading a guided improv theatre troupe – and the latter is tremendously more demanding than the former. It's certainly not something that's reasonable to expect a complete novice to navigate as their first experience of play.
There's a reason that first-time GMs burning out so rapidly that their game only lasts two or three sessions and never running one again is a problem that's largely unique to D&D, and this is a big part of it.
No no no, see, a puppet obtains power at the expense of agency, a doll obtains meaning at the expense of agency, and a plushie obtains unconditional love at the expense of agency. The thing currently mauling you was already powerful and self-actualized when I brought it under my sway, so when you beg me to 'call off my puppet' you should really be saying plushie instead. Try again, m'kay?
my thrall told me it wanted to be more independent so i imprisoned its soul in a necklace. how's that for in de pendant you little shit
it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,
soy yooo tu ángel de la guarda holiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 bueno. en como seis meses, vas a morir de hambre. 🥺 y si no te protejo, me van a: #¡despedir! 🫢 y eso No esta Chido 🙅♀️jajaaa Entonces. 🙏investigue acerca del tema y resulta que: ¡puedo prevenir tu muerte al 100%! 😯 ¡Uh oh! 😆 Hay más que suficiente comida para que sobrevivas sin que interfieras con la supervivencia de los demás, ¡pero no puedes teneral! 🤨 ¿Queeeé? 🤷♀️ Al parecer, tu muerte fue premeditada por miles de cosas llamadas "accionistas." Y bueno. 🙏 empeze a matar personas,
c'est moooi ton ange gardien coucooou 😇 bon 🙏 alors. dans genre six mois, tu vas mourir de faim. 🥺 et si je te protège pas, je vais me faire: #virer ! 🫢 et ça c'est pas Pas Super 🙅♀️ hahaaa Donc. 🙏 j'ai fait mes recherches sur les causes de famine et devine quoi: Ta mort est 100% évitable ! 😯 Oh-oh ! 😆 Il y a largement assez de ressources pour te nourrir sans interférer avec la survie d'autrui, mais tu n'y as pas accès ! 🤨 Quoooi ? 🤷♀️ Apparemment ta mort a été préméditée par des milliers de trucs appelées des "actionnaires". Du coup.🙏 j'ai tué pas mal de monde,
hiiiiii 😇 我是亲的守护小天使!okay🙏 嗯。您在差不多半年会饿死哈🥺 若我不能救您我会被#炒鱿鱼!🫢 那可不行哦🙅♀️ 哈哈。所以昵🙏我查了一下人类饿死的原因,然后发现:诶呀呀😯亲的死是可以避免哒!😆 这世上有足够食物给亲吃,一点儿也不需要影响别人的生存率哒!但不给亲!🤨 怎么会这样昵? 🤷♀️ 原来,亲的死是被一帮叫“股东”的东西计算好滴! 所以昵🙏 我杀了一些人,
y'all are doing some rosetta stone shit to me
wah gwan it's mi, mi a yuh guardian angel hai 😇 okie🙏🏿 so. inna bout six months, yuh ago die a starvation. 🥺 an if mi no protek yu, boss man inna da sky fie let me go. mi ago get: #fiyahd! 🫢 an dat is No Good 🙅🏿♂️ hahaaa So. 🙏🏿 Mi look inna causes a starvation, an it turn out: Yuh death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 Yuh have more dan enough food fi sustain yuh widout interfering wid nobody else's survival, but yuh nuh allow fi have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷🏿♂️ Apparently, yuh death is premeditated by thousands of tings called "shareholders." Suh. 🙏🏿 Mi a kill people,
personal soundboard for when i'm scrolling various social media websites

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I love this for the creativity and the joy in the post. How perfectly these bits of rocks and shells show us two ladies frolicking in delight! At the beach, one might assume. They're having a great time. Good for them.
I’m sorry
cats: horrifying and unpredictable. claws. hates you and people find that charming? my human family already dislikes me why would I want a pet that does too.
dogs: 100 pound freight train love missile whose obsessed with you and may eat an intruder as a little treat.
I will stick to my 2 love missiles who scream at me when I don’t give them enough attention thank you I know where their loyalties lie. I know they like me.
Also their claws aren’t scary.
I think if you asked me “man or bear” about sleeping in a room with a cat I’d have to think about it.
Just to piss off the cat people more,
I think this whole “cats are big on consent” thing is weird as fuck and applying human morals to animals, the same way it’s weird to call carnivorous predators “evil”. You are pushing human morality onto animals once again and that’s still weird.
All animals have personal boundaries. And yet nothing else behaves like cats do.
Sheep are often compared to cats for their aloofness and skittishness but fuck man I’ll take a headbut to claws any day. And i have hedbutted far less times than I’ve been clawed at and hissed at.
Cat owners truly think they’re an oppressed class god damn you’re insufferable
... oppressed class? What are you talking about? Nobody has said anything remotely like that?
Everyone is just fairly directly and sensibly correcting you. I'm sorry but you're just factually wrong on so many points. If anyone is insufferable I'd say it's probably the person opening posts with "Just to piss off the cat people more,"
"I want a pet that is 100% guaranteed to Like me even If I'm a bit inconsiderate about its needs but Not malevolently abusive, and 90% likely to express its affection in the exact way that I Like, which is loud and overdemonstrative and clumsy" is a decent, albeit selfish and short-sighted, reason to get a Dog rather than a Cat. "Cats behave unpredictably and the mechanics of how their claws Work are scary and they don't even Like people" is objectively untrue all around, and therefore Not a good reason for anything.
behind every late diagnosed neurodivergent person is a parent who has absolutely nothing going on at all don't worry about it
i'm reading the genius of birds by jennifer ackerman (amazing book) and today i learned that the first ever documented case of a bird making a tool to use as a weapon against another bird was a steller's jay breaking off and sharpening a stick to wield like a lance at a crow that was taking too long at a feeding station the jay also wanted to eat at. the jay tried to stab at the crow but narrowly missed, the crow lunged back, the jay dropped the stick, and the crow picked it up with the sharp end pointing towards the jay and pursued it into the trees
imagine the guy in front of you at mcdonald's is taking too long to order and so you fashion a blade on the spot and hold him at knifepoint. and then he steals your knife and points it back at you while chasing you out of the restaurant. and also the guy is twice your size
You don't need a "WIFE". What you NEED is a beautiful priestess of the old religion to lead you down a dark path.

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okay. listen. I try not to be pedantic about this sort of thing but it’s starting to get on my nerves. the wire mother offers milk but not comfort. the cloth mother offers comfort but not milk. if something is comforting, fun, or otherwise compelling, but lacks substance, that is the cloth mother. if something is boring or unpleasant but has substance, that is the wire mother.
Amphetamine is a beautiful name for a baby girl