The Basic Girl

This is me and my relationship with bread.

this dog is really late for class

my wife tried to do the thing where you pull a tablecloth really fast and the dishes stay in place but instead of a tablecloth it was a towel and instead of dishes it was our poor long suffering cat that was just trying to sleep on said towel. poor baby got whipped across the room fast enough that its meow got dopplered into meeeeeeOOOWWwwwwww

whys combat and military gear always got to look so fucking cool when the people wearing them just objectively arent. thats unfair

this goes for like, all of time. knights are serving the KING? the fucking KING?

you cant serve cunt and the government at the same time come on now pick the right side i know you have it in you

Jesus said this. Matthew 6:24

*emerges from the other room covered in blood* you should see the word document

pirates of the caribbean really introduced an eldritch octopus man who kills indiscriminately and torments the dead as their poster villain and then you watch the movies and it's like, "oh no, actually the worst villain in this series is a small white british man who functions as the herald of capitalism" and that was very very brave of them

This is what they took from Tucker Carlson

Cyber truck people trying desperately to find a redeeming quality in their glorified cardboard box: it... It has doors. They open. Glov comportmnt

Bestie English - best friend Bestie Czech - beast, brute, monster

synonyms

Me trying to get out of bed in the morning

nice job, little buddy. that's the worst anyone's ever done it.