jockstrap junkie

the mystery bruises you're getting aren't from anemia or something stupid like that. they're from me. i go into your house while you're asleep and softly hit you with hammers until i am satisfied

“but that’s neither here nor there” well where is it then.

I saw someone spell it "whimsicle" today. Like popsicle

whimcycle. like a bike.

friend added me as a Mii on her island and she was like "I trained it to just say "sorry" randomly and it's like. really uncanny how much it sounds like you."

Another job lost to AI 😔

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

Coolest Lizard In The World Google Search

This ruined her career and she was telling the truth, as we all came to find out years later.