i won't fail you. i'm not afraid.

sometimes there's a smile or two on the good days, but his laughter is rare and she finds herself mourning it when it all but disappears.

he looks like he's meditating when she finds him, intelligence reports she thinks he might want to see clutched in one hand and a tray of food in the other. it hits her again as she places the reports and food on the table beside him, how quickly she'd come to care for him. how indifference had turned into distant affection, into something that seemed to flow easily towards him without her even realizing it was there.

she's not someone you make friends with. everything she does is built on her ability to build a fortress strong enough to withstand torture, physical, mental, or emotional. her claws are always as sharp as her teeth and it only takes a second for her to turn into a nightmare that even the Empire has come to fear.

but luke has never been afraid of her, regardless of her teeth, despite the fact that the force in her is chaotic and destructive at best.

❛ hey. you should have something to eat, i know you haven't eaten yet. ❜

his eyes are still closed, though there's a hint of a smile on his lips, as though he's heard her but has no interest in the food. so she steps forward and does something she's wanted to do for months to get his attention --- she tips his chin up, leans down, and kisses him without hesitation.

this kiss holds none of her usual intensity and hunger, that is reserved for those she wants to hold power over. her overwhelming presence, the way she can intoxicate without trying, the cruelty and sharpness of her are reserved for those she intends to wrap around her fingers.

vasya wants none of this from him.

it's like she's forgotten what softness tastes like, but she pours whatever parts of herself that are still soft into him like she's giving him a gift. or a sacrifice, she isn't sure which one, but it is warm and genuine.

there's hunger there as well, but first she has to make sure that this is okay, that he is comfortable with what she's giving him. the hunger can come later if he wants it, god knows she's got plenty of it.

eyes made of gold and galaxies open to look down at him, a thumb brushing against the curve of his jaw gently, watching for his reaction --- waiting to see if this is okay. a grin lifts the corners of her lips up for a moment, playful and teasing.

❛ if i have to kiss you every time i want you to eat something, i guess i'll have to, for the good of the rebellion. though i'll admit, i've been wanting to do that for a while, so maybe it's not such a bad thing after all. now eat, or i'll have to do it again. ❜

"oh, not again..."

luke extinguishes his saber in frustration and pushes the cuff his his right robe-sleeve back. his knuckles are literally skinned, exposing metal joints. wires snake when he flexes his fingers. the cybernetics are still working fine, but the synthflesh has burned right through.

         SERAPHINA FLINCHES. the manifestation of her mortal form is rare in and of itself these centuries, but to have it be afforded touch has been nearly impossible. his hand feels so impossibly small in hers, and his smile holds such boyish hope that it hurts. every instinct that’s been beaten into her bones tells her to run. to lick her wounds in grieved silence, and wait for the ice to creep back across her soul and lock it away from further harm.

           come, master.

         he helps her to standing, but it’s a gesture much too accommodating for the ache weighing her down. in one swift movement, like a tide that cradles the shore, she embraces him. this creature, so flighty and fearful of touch, now envelops him fully, as close and as protective as she can get, for that is how it should be. her frame may be wiry, but when holding a child, when holding luke, there can be no doubt that she is invincible. she cradles the back of his head. savors how alive he is.

         ‘ only for you, ’ she says. her voice is high and thin with barely restrained sobs. ‘ stubborn boy, only for you. ’

     “i have you.”   he takes her elbow to steady her, and on that side the grip is gentle like the other as well as firm. he’s always aware that in the absence of synthflesh, the servos and joints of his cybernetic hand can bite through cloth and skin if he’s careless. so he isn’t as careless as he used to be. by now it’s become second nature to him.

     she is the one who shows no restraint when she wraps herself around him. she will feel no resistance, only a softening of surprise, and then a return embrace.

     she is considerably taller than he is. still he reaches up to clasp her shoulders without thinking about it. her black hair curtains around him, shutting out the light, but warmth emanates from her in the force. protective, not possessive. he has felt its like before.

if i’m going to be a jedi knight.

          her head snaps up to look at him so fast the room spins in her peripheral vision, these are words she hasn’t heard in — god, how long has it been? when was the last time someone had the conviction, the calling, to say those words? she can’t remember.

❛ that’s a phrase i never thought i’d hear again. ❜

          the stare she fixes him with is intense ( though not unkind ), as if weighing the truth of his statement and his dedication — but the echo of his words in the force ring truer than she’d like to admit. there’s a certainty in his voice, as if this is something he was destined to do, not a path he’d decided to choose.

                                                 still, she is skeptical.

❛ and how did you come to this conclusion? what makes you think you can be a jedi knight? who will train you? ❜

          the bluntness of her words comes with years of experience, of watching even the most talented of jedi be hunted down and slaughtered. the tension ( is that — worry? ) in her voice is a reflection of that horrible truth, of watching it happen without being able to do anything about it.

❛ you won’t survive without some kind of master, or someone to guide you. you’ll die, luke, they’ll kill you. ❜

          resting back down on the stool with her hands in her lap, vasya drops the stare and looks instead at the datapad on the desk. he’s been here ten minutes and i’m already worried about him. but his question hangs in the air and the barely contained excitement is palpable, how can she deny him.

❛ yes and no. i was introduced to a few, but i was too young and i can’t say i remember them well. though, i did get to visit the temple a few times. i wish i could go back. ❜

                          i’ve been looking for the same peace ever since.

❛ my sisters brought me a few times, our father visited coruscant often so we were nearby. i remember peeking into rooms to see what was happening while we were walking. i didn’t understand the war, i only knew that something was wrong. ❜

          picking at the beadwork on the dress absentmindedly, vasya lifts her head back up to look at him with a smile that seems very far away.

❛ i remember sneaking away from everyone to look around, took them about ten minutes before they realized i was gone. but i got to see kids my age training, i got to see them with their masters, i was lucky to have seen it. ❜

          part of her wants to say let me share with you you what i saw, we are the same but there’s danger in that knowledge, so she does not offer.

❛ i wish i could tell you more. the only other time i’ve met a jedi is when i was helping them escape and there was never enough time to know them. there was only enough time to save them — if i could. ❜

     when it comes to telling people that he’s a jedi (or going to be), luke has pretty much heard it all. the jedi knights are gone, and whatever magic or trickery they had with them. the force is a joke, a fairy tale. and even if it is real, it doesn’t care about you and me. what did it do to save the old jedi? (once, hotheaded, luke said, what if i’m what the force did to save the jedi? they laughed in his face. he probably should have expected that.) even leia isn’t convinced that he’s more useful as some kind of a mystic than a pilot.

     at least, luke thought he’d heard it all.

     he isn’t prepared for her blunt assessment, for her to call his right and his ability to follow the jedi way into question in a few pointed words. he doesn’t think he’s imagining the dread behind them. it takes the punch out of any offended feeling he might have had.

     luke listens to her description of the temple visit with a slight furrow in his brow. he wasn’t born yet, during the war. the only reason he knows where the temple even is — was — is because ben wrote about it in his diaries. and although he’s figured, of course, that some jedi must have escaped like ben did, surely if vasya knew where they are now, she would have already said so.

     he thinks hard about how to answer her question, even if she didn’t mean for him to.

     “i just know. it’s what i’m supposed to do.”   or be. or both. ben made that clear to him, in the short amount of time they spent together. he had that training, and he’s learned more from the diaries, from uncanny places of power, from people he’s met along the way, force-users or not.

     besides, lots of jedi with mentors died. his father had the same mentor he did, and now both ben kenobi and anakin skywalker are dead.

     he wants to reach to his side for his lightsaber hilt, just to hold it. just to remind himself of how it felt to hold it for the first time. but something else she says lights a fire in him.

     “they’ll kill all of us, if we don’t fight back!”   planting his palms flat on the desk, luke leans over the desk toward her.   “when you’re up there, flying around with tie fighters and star destroyers — explosions on every side, knowing you could die — you have your squad, but no one’s going to tell you what to do. you have to trust your feelings. well, i do trust them. that’s how i know.”

vasya is tall and beautiful and put together and has incredible presence — she is good at her job — and luke definitely felt the force of her personality the first time they met, but that’s not what he sees first now.

through the force, and through knowing her better, luke sees vasya’s strength. there’s the strength of her feelings, and how hard she works to restrain them. he sees how tired and angry she is. how it never keeps her from fighting. he sees a lot of himself in her, even if she doesn’t think of them as being much alike; he wants to help her center herself and be at peace.