i was so angry at everything when i was 13. and i was right
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@commanderflowers
i was so angry at everything when i was 13. and i was right

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Yeah so the Big Think is literally owned by big oil. They’re making shit up so people feel too exhausted to fight for any change. Ignore this kind of environmental nihilism, all it does it help the rich avoid change.
I see no difference.
Like the elephant in the room..this needs to be said.
Honestly I have no idea why this never comes up in conversations about immigration… the U.S. literally creates these conditions around the world.

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#the starter pack for ‘how to deal with villain apologists
Bonus:
“I’m having a very terrible childhood right now” was such a line.
every time someone is like ok make your christmas list im like well suddenly it turns out ive never desired anythign in my fucking life
this is literally how i feel
“I confront [white guilt] every year, about a month into my course on racism, among [white] students who come to me in tears because they cannot deal with the racism that goes on in their families or their home towns or their student residences. Their tears are the result of genuine anguish, care, and a desire to learn and to change. I confront similar attitudes among my colleagues, and I am similarly gratified by their concern. But those who experience white guilt need to learn three things: 1) People of colour are generally not moved by their tears, and may even see those tears as a self-indulgent expression of white privilege. It is after all a great privilege to be able to express one’s emotion openly and to be confident that one is in a cultural context where one’s feelings will be understood. 2) Guilt is paralysing. It serves no purposes; it does no good. It is not a substitute for activism. 3) White guilt is often patronizing if it leads to pity for those of colour. Pity gets in the way of sincere and meaningful human relationships, and it forestalls the frankness that meaningful relationships demand. White guilt will not change the racialized environment; it will only make the guilty feel better.”
— “Women of Colour in Canadian Academia,” Audrey Kobayashi (via lamaracuya) (via hagereseb)
apparently at some point when my now-girlfriend and i were flirting with each other but not quite in a relationship, she asked me how i felt about pet names, to which i replied “well you have to call them something”
the fact that i have managed to end up in a relationship is really testament to my girlfriend’s patience
I’m gonna go off on this scene for a hot second, because this doesn’t get nearly as much attention as the talk with his mom and honestly this one hit me harder. So I’m gonna talk about why this scene is so fucking important to me.
The first line. Right out of the gate. “How long have you known?” Not, “how long have you been…you know…”, “how long have you known.” This is coming from a character we have seen (unintentionally, but still) commit homophobic microaggressions on screen at least twice now with many more implied, that difference is important.
Then when Simon answers, his response emphasizes the time they spent together when he didn’t know (Four years eating dinner together). I was sure, I was so sure his next line was going to be “why didn’t you tell me”. Because that’s how it goes right? The onus is always on the queer person, it’s always down to us. But that’s not what he says. He says “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have missed it.”
I don’t think I can put into words what hearing an apology in that moment did to me. I really can’t, I’m pretty sure I stopped breathing for a second. And then he says “All those stupid jokes…”
He is taking responsibility for his actions. He is acknowledging that he was wrong and he is apologizing for the hurt he, however unknowingly, caused his son. This is so rare. Because the key here is, not only is this a father-son relationship, which is always more difficult because men in our society have been conditioned to never be “touchy-feely”, it’s also a parent-child relationship.
Simon is still a teenager. His father has spent 17 years being the one responsible for Simon’s care; at this point the parent is the one in the equation where the majority of power still sits. For a parent to acknowledge to a child who is still not fully an adult that they were wrong, especially when it’s a father when men are conditioned to never give ground or “show weakness” over things like this, just. It doesn’t happen.
And even when Simon gives him an out he refuses to take it. Then he makes sure Simon knows that he is loved unconditionally, and reinforces it with physical affection. And it’s not a Manly Shoulder Pat either, this is a proper full-body hug followed by a kiss on the cheek.
And after a moment of awkwardness, he actively reaches out and shows interest in engaging in the queer aspect of Simon’s life by offering to sign up to Grindr together. He’s gotten it wrong (in the most adorably dad way possible), but the point is he made the effort. He didn’t just leave it at letting Simon know he loves him, he recognized that this is an on-going presence in his child’s life and he commits to continuously being involved with and acknowledging this aspect of his son.
I am someone who has Simon’s life. I am from an upper-middle class white family with two liberal straight parents who were high school sweethearts, and I have one younger sibling. My first car was even a used Subaru station wagon, I could not make this up. This is the moment I wish I could have with my parents.
They knew/suspected I was queer for years before I finally came out to them, but they didn’t know what to do with asexuality. They were fully prepared for me to be a lesbian and I still managed to blindside them. It was completely unexpected and they hadn’t heard of it so they didn’t know what to do about it. And we are the pinnacle of a WASP stereotype, so all of us suck at talking about our feelings. So while my parents never rejected me, they never tried to “fix” me, and they don’t really drop hints about me “settling down one day”, they also never talk about it with me. I assume because they don’t know how to and they don’t want to misstep.
We will have entire conversations about queer issues with no acknowledgement whatsoever that I am part of the group that issue pertains to. They have never tried to talk to me about what asexuality is, asked me to explain it, or asked about how to be involved in that aspect of my life. Which is unusual for them, both have always taken an active interest in both of their children’s activities. And there’s only so many times I can be the one to talk about the elephant in the room because it’s fucking exhausting.
So yeah. This scene, this moment, hit me like a semi truck. Because god do I want that in my life.
I’m crying
I really loved this scene because it wasn’t his dad saying “how long have you been lying to me” but instead “how long have I been hurting you.”
Too often queer people are treated as if we lied or tricked people while we were in the closet, so this scene meant so much to me.

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A good thread on whether “queer” is a slur and if it should be used or not.
“If I am unashamed of being queer, you do not get to give that word BACK to the fuckwits who made it a slur.”
you do not get to give that word BACK to the fuckwits who made it a slur
EVERYBODY WHO CAME OUT BEFORE YOU HAS TAKEN THE ROCKS AND BOTTLES AND MADE THEM INTO SHIELDS AND WINDCHIMES
Holy motherfucking shit. Don’t fucking come at me about Queer is a slur. I FUCKING KNOW IT IS. It was hurled at me like a fucking spear all through my youth. I know it’s a god damn slur. And it’s mine. You don’t get to take it away from me because you can’t take also away the scars it gave me while I was standing in front of my younger queer siblings in this community.
always, always reblog this one.
If my enemy swings a sword at me and I take that sword away from them, it’s my sword now. And the person telling me I can’t use it because it belongs to my enemy and I have to give it back to them sounds quite a bit like an enemy themselves.
^^ god that analogy
@deadcatwithaflamethrower
Yesssssssssss.
This came around again, but it’s worth sharing and remembering. You have the right to only accept certain words be used to describe you, but so does everyone else.
I have this bookmarked to through at people who DM me about using the word Queer.
If my enemy swings a sword at me and I take that sword away from them, it’s my sword now. And the person telling me I can’t use it because it belongs to my enemy and I have to give it back to them sounds quite a bit like an enemy themselves.
I don’t know if any of you had the same experience as me, but I tried therapy when I was a teenager living in an abusive household and thought it was a waste of time. Ultimately my biggest problems (dad) were beyond my control and no amount of coping would make them better. Now that I’m an adult with actual control over my life and don’t live with my dad anymore therapy is MUCH more helpful.
If any of you had bad experiences with therapy when you were younger it may be worth it to try again now.
THE SAME GOES FOR MEDICATION!! I tried meds as a teenager and they were powerless to help much due to my living situation being horrible. I thought that meant medication didn’t work for me. Now that I’m out of that situation and trying agajn I can really see a difference.
Kid Spock with his bunny friend. Jim gave Mr Bunny to Spock, and now Spock is teaching Mr Bunny the art of meditation. Because of course he is. Watercolour on cold pressed paper.

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RDR silent strip
sweet.