rattus norvegicus @ratscabies - Tumblr Blog

t-shirt that says 'I KNOW HOW ELEANOR VANCE FELT'

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looks like I'll be returning to work on june 30th!!

#three months after breaking my ankle babyyyy

football-in-tuxedos

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Some people might say my life is in a rut,

But I’m quite happy with what I got.

People might say that I should strive for more,

But I’m so happy I can’t see the point.

zegalba

pinniposting

“get a job” nope im splashing in da pool

via

deathwarlock

meet me under the pier we are going beast mode

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dennisyoubitch

me while crossing the road

memorydatas

does anyone else remember when michaels (art supply company) accidentally made omegle again

shadowthian

when they What

memorydatas

michaels added a feature for a while in sept. 2020 where shoppers could ask questions that would be answered live by other shoppers anonymously. which led to some good michaels interactions.

wizrdfckr

me and u both ouppy

bartenders hate to see me coming

#i drank too much tonight and now i must pay the price

kibumkim

The patriarchy won lmao

disgracedmilfman

Evergreen

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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itsyveinthesky

seabassapologist

penismage

Hello!

Howdy!

I’d like, uh, two normal rolls.

Sure thing!

And one with the… With the pumpkin seeds.

Which do you mean?

The one with the… With the seeds.

What are they called?

Uhm… A, uh, “crunchy pumpky.”

Sure thing. Would you like anything else?

Uhh… I’ll also take a, uh… A… A Nutella donut…?

Unfortunately, I don’t know at all what you mean…

A… One of those right there!

You really must tell me, what’s it called??

I… I’m… I’m a dumb piece of shit.

Sure thing! Anything else?

That one there?

You know what you need to do. [Here she switches from the formal, customer service voice to addressing him casually and familiarly.]

I… I’m a little greedy pig, oink oink?

Do it!

[grunts like a pig]

That comes to €13.50, please! Have a beautiful day!

Hello! I’d like an “I hate my father” and two “I have a small willi—” [The word that gets cut off is Pimmel, an un-sexy term for penis.]

jazzedforthefall

YEAH FINE WHATEVER SYNONYM MAKES YOU HAPPIEST

hateusandseeifwemind

The internet is a device which can be used to contact lesbians

deadelated

the gay thoughts are back

mosasadogs

saw you laying on our couch on your stomach kicking your feet cutely before posting this

deadelated

I was literally sitting like this with my guns

guiltfactory

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excitementshewrote

surprisinglyironlibrarian

Truly wild way to start a paragraph.

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