in new zealand, our evil government are trying to legislate definitions of women and men, in ways that are legally incoherent but clearly trying to pave the way for more horrifically transphobic legislation. we have an election in a few months but our main opposition party, and all our mainstream news media, are so spineless and cooked that there's a good chance the ghouls will win reelection.

it took 2 whole months for local terf group 'speak up for women' to get 2,000 signatures on the petition that led to this new bill in our parliament.

it's taken five days for this pro-trans 'they don't speak for us' petition to get 17,000 signatures.

this is a show of support that is really heartening for a lot of trans people in our corner of the world.

cis/ish women, if you're from here but haven't signed yet, please do. and if you're not from here and you know any new zealanders, could you send them this petition? a full fifth of our population lives overseas, and there's a good chance they don't follow the news.

wait until it gets dark and make tea or coffee or hot chocolate, or if it’s too hot outside make yourself a healthy smoothie with your favorite things in it at any point during the day

put on your favorite underwear, it helps, trust me, it’s an old family secret (i’m not kidding)

if you have a pet, play the “how many things can i stick on you until you move or get mad” game (bonus points if they fall asleep, extra bonus points if a family member sees you and tells you to quit it, extra double ultra points if they join in)

rip a peice of paper into as many little pieces as you can

go to animeseason.com and click “random anime” until you see one that looks completely ridiculous (or actually good) and watch the first episode. repeat if it sucked or if you get bored halfway through

spend at least an hour making a music playlist for how you feel right now and save it for now or when you feel a bad mood rise again

curl up in bed and cover yourself with blankets and pillows and put in music and just lay there for a while (sleeping is also good)

eat everything

drink lots of water

it’s okay bad moods don’t last forever!!!!!! i promise!!! you will be yourself soon and there are people who love you very much, don’t be afraid to reach out to them

you are lovely

i bet there is still a box of crayons in your house somewhere (if not you can get them cheap during back-to-school sales); find them and use them (maybe while watching ridiculous anime)

sunshine if you can manage it or just a sun lamp trust me it matters more than you think especially in winter

hugs even if they are stuffed animals or your pet or your pillow whatever is on hand

if you’ve got a favorite lotion/soap/thing that is scented use it liberally

cry if you need, if it doesn’t start by itself or if you don’t want to attract attention put on a sad movie so you have an excuse

write this down to pull out on future bad days:

it is okay to have a day where you don’t get things done

it is okay not to have a reason for feeling bad

taking care of yourself is a worthwhile use of time

These are two of Ingrid's reactions to receiving gifts she hates. My first thought was "*gasp* was Ingrid spanked???" While you don't have to get spanked to disapprove of corporal punishment, it's just...more likely to me at least that she was given she used words like "lucky" (almost insinuating that she could've gone down that path but chose not to because she understands how being spanked feels) and the fact that she casually spoke of a whole town of adults being willing to beat on someone just because they received a gift they didn't like as if that's somehow normal (maybe this is hyperbole but for the sake of this whole post im gonna take it literally). If Ingrid was spanked as a child (or at the very least threatened to be spanked) then it certainly sours her comments about parental appreciation (which is what i was originally searching for also forgive my bad crops)

Coloring this interaction with the lens Ingrid has been spanked before, it gives the vibe Ingrid was punished into accepting the bare minimum (food, shelter, affection) from her family rather than being genuinely grateful and that any notion of displeasure towards certain behaviors (like for say rejecting pet names) counts as being unappreciative and that she in turn MUST pay it back. If you look at Ingrid's Echo and Imitation arts my girl is SUFFOCATING. To the question "who are you?" Ingrid is "an Obligation"

Because of "all the love in the world" Ingrid feels obligated to pay it all back. Obligated to take care of her siblings (aka parentification, a theme Ingrid clearly has going on given her current dynamic with Toshiko), obligated to run the business and take care of chores and put food on their plates, obligated to do SO MUCH that Ingrid states during the Laundry Room scenes that she hasn't had help in a really long time. Damon is even confused by why she would say that (i don't have a pic of that rn sorry). Speaking of preserving the traditions, Damon also picks up on how traditional Ingrid's family is (Btw traditional southern households are more likely to use corporal punishment as a form of child discipline than not) and how perhaps that level of rigidity has held her back (bc why would her siblings know how to sell things online but not her? maybe she was too busy with everything else how to learn? or was learning just not necessary to keep the way she's been selling her products this whole time?)

I just find it...kind of bleeghh that Ingrid's first reaction to helping improve the family business was feeling guilt. I get that traditions are important and a lot of people don't want to break them. I get feeling disappointment or anger or sadness about having to change the way you did something but guilt is just strange. But considering that in the family change is literally seen as a betrayal it would make sense why Ingrid would feel guilty. Because she's betraying the people she's obligated to. Because she's betraying the people who showed her "all the love in the world" its....not a pleasant feeling. And, if Ingrid was spanked, it would only make these feelings worse because if she was punished for not being appreciative then...how would her folks feel about betrayal? What would they do? I suppose in the end they relented to Ingrid's and her sibling's ways otherwise she wouldn't have become an Ultimate but that must've been a terrifying conversation. Side Note: Why didn't Ingrid mention her parents at all outside of Damon asking if they were blacksmiths and why didn't they look to sell online? If Ingrid is so appreciative of her folks wouldn't she gush more about their hard work running the business before her? Anywho this is getting pretty long and I never had a point to begin with so I'll try to wrap this up as concisely as possible. Bearing ALL of what I said in mind it would make sense why Ingrid jumped to conclusions about Damon's supposed lack of appreciation for his parents. She isn't necessarily projecting onto him but her understanding of what it means to be appreciative looks totally different than his. Her expression of appreciation is fully outward while Damon's is inward (listening to his grandma's stories, always wearing the handmade cardigan, fervently studying for debate competitions to win prize money). She sees Damon rejecting her pet names, not wanting to talk about what his parents call him and translates it to him being unappreciative and thinking about himself because its the exact opposite of what she'd learned truly showing appreciation means.

I love you Ingrid you're so underrated please don't die next chapter