How did I go from growing up to breaking down?

Shane and Hayden: *They get super concerned and get outside fast af because Ilya was showing off his Porsche to the kids, they immediately head out to see what happened*

Ilya: *Is stuck inside this thing*

Because I do think Ilya would be a monsterfucker

The main problem I have is that I can't buy Ilya as a Monster Believer

Like werewolf Shane can show Ilya the chains he locks himself up with on a full moon and Ilya just gets very concerned about how deep in the larp of this kink Shane is

Witch Shane admits that sometimes his emotions overwhelm him to the point where his magic causes storms, including probably that blizzard that cancelled their game (he was really in his head about it okay), and Ilya thinks this is a bigger version of how his teammates wives think astrology is real and the stars impact your life

Merman Shane would tell Ilya about how he feels a call to the sea sometimes and Ilya makes him call Yuna to ask about Shane's last neurology exam

The internet is divided: Is the black eye a sex injury or is Ilya an abuser?

The locker room is full of guys making sex jokes at them, to Ilya’s great amusement and Shane’s annoyance. Shane keeps hoping people will stop talking about it, but when the black eye only looks worse at the next game, it’s unavoidable. The media keeps asking cheekily about it and there are think pieces being written online about how Ilya is an abuser and here are all the signs of how he has been abusing Shane for years.

Shane gets his hands on the latter and is angrier at that than he is prideful. So, he drops the video.

The video is from a surveillance camera of the Rozanov-Hollander house’s backyard. Shane is crouched down playing tug of war with their dog Anya. He and Anya are both refusing to let go of rope. Suddenly, Anya drops it and Shane’s hands fling back toward his face and he smacks himself in the face with hands still around the toy. He drops to his back and cups his hands over his eyes.

Ilya runs into view, kneeling next to Shane and is seen as asking him what’s wrong. When Shane explains, Ilya falls over laughing on the grass and Shane throws the dog toy at his head. Ilya gets up and crouches down over Shane and gives him a kiss on the cheek right below his eye. The video ends as he’s leaning down while speaking to give him a kiss on his lips.